(originally aired January 6, 1996)
This season has been filled with a lot of emotional episodes that take deeper looks at our characters and their relationships in new, interesting ways. “Team Homer,” on the other hand, feels like a throwback to the sillier, more outlandish episodes of season 5 (surprise surprise, David Mirkin is the executive producer here). We have two stories running side by side, premises that feel a little scant, but have enough laughs and interesting stuff in them to keep going. The main story reintroduces Homer’s love of bowling; in order to play during league night, he wrangles Apu, Moe and Otto together, thus introducing the world to the Pin Pals. They eventually start building a camaraderie, and work their way up through the ranks during tournament play. However, to procure the $500 team registration fee, Homer had to get a loan from Mr. Burns. High on ether at the time of the request, now the sinister old man demands an explanation… until he has a change of heart and decides he’d actually like to join the team.
I don’t know how much I buy Burns’s chummy turn here, especially given how incredibly sudden it is. He exhibits the social awkwardness of a sheltered rich person, but without much contempt for his fellow man. I think back to “Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerk,” where Burns gleefully went “slumming” at Moe’s, but still clearly talked down to these penniless layabouts known as the middle class. Here he’s just an old softie, bowling consistent gutter balls, much to the rest of the team’s chagrin. The pathetic sight of him rolling the ball and his excitement regarding it (“Look at that! All the way to the end with only one push!”) keeps the show entertaining, but something just didn’t sit right about Burns’s behavior here. His snap back to his selfish ways at the end is equally as unusual; it’s all meant for the sake of humor, as Burns explains (“Teamwork will only take you so far. Then, the truly evolved person makes that extra grab for personal glory. Now, I must discard my teammates, much like the boxer must shed roll after roll of sweaty, useless, disgusting flab before he can win the title!”) But on the whole, it just didn’t feel like Burns.
Strangely the B-story works a bit better for me. When Bart causes a riot at school with his MAD magazine shirt “Down with Homework,” the students are forced to wear uniforms, turning them into conformist zombies. Everything about the plot rings so true, from the children’s quick descent into anarchy after Bart reveals the shirt, and the faculty’s complete contempt for anything resembling an individualistic thought. The kids become empty shells of who they once were, forgetting their most basic instincts and catchphrases (“Ha… ho?”) In the end, rain turns the non-color fasted uniforms tye-dye, and the kids go on a rampage once more. Both of these stories are pretty thin, and it’s fine that they don’t really intersect at all. While I have issues with Burns in the main story, I still laughed a fair amount at some of the bowling antics and the different teams, and the school uniform story has a lot of great Skinner and Chalmers stuff. So I can’t complain that halfway through an absolutely spectacular season, I find an episode that’s merely pretty hilarious and memorable. That’s fair enough to me.
Tidbits and Quotes
– Lunchlady Doris has her final speaking role here, due to the unfortunate passing of Doris Grau. At least it’s a great appearance (as always), revealing she’s the mother of one of the seemingly endless squeaky voiced teens working low-paying jobs all over Springfield.
– Moe has a great monologue after being denied right to bowl (“You go through life, you try to be nice to people, you struggle to resist the urge to punch in the face, and for what? For some pimply little puke to treat like dirt unless you’re on a team. Well, I’m better than dirt! …well, most kinds of dirt. I mean, not that fancy store-bought dirt. That stuff’s loaded with nutrients. I can’t compete with that stuff.”)
– The plotting of the bowling story is pretty solid as is, beginning and ending with Otto playing the crane game, along with it being integral to the climax. And what is his ultimate prize? A lobster harmonica. Of the many Simpsons products I want to be real, that’s in the top 5.
– The Skinner/Chalmers stuff is so rich. Hank Azaria is hysterical as Chalmers is very slowly about to give the school a perfect 10 score (“I’ll just write the zero first… now, a vertical line to indicate the one…”) Then of course he’s trampled by a herd of out-of-control kids. This leads to an equally hilarious bit with another Vietnam story from Skinner: a distraction by MAD Magazine caused his platoon to be captured, and he recalls his days in a POW camp surviving on just a thin stew. His personal torment comes not from that, but his inability to recreate the stew here in the States.
– The early Burns stuff is great, with his hallucinations of Homer as the Pillsbury Dough Boy (“I owe my robust physique to your tubes of triple-bleached goo!”) and supposed murder of Hans Moleman, who he believes to be the Lucky Charms leprechaun and tries to extract his gold with a power drill. Also funny later is when he expresses shock over his bowling payment, then finds it was for his boweling (“Remember that month you didn’t do it?” “Yes… that was unpleasant for all concerned.”) And then he expresses shock over the actual bowling payment.
– All the different teams are great, from the Stereotypes, consisting of Luigi, Willie, Cletus and Captain McAllister (Apu muses, “They begged me to join their team! Begged me!”) and the Homewreckers, consisting of Lurleen Lumpkin, Princess Kashmir, Mindy Simmons and Jacques. Considering Homer’s relationship with those ladies, I suppose that game must have been slightly awkward. Also fabulous is the police force team, with Wiggum, Eddie, Lou and Snake. Wiggum uncuffs Snake to go bowl, who then proceeds to run off.
– Bart complains to his mother the new uniforms suck. Marge wonders where he could have picked up such language. Pan over to Homer on the phone (“Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I’ve seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.”) Marge scolds him, so Homer hangs up (“I gotta go, my damn wiener kids are listening.”)
– There’s a lot of great Moe lines in this, from his reaction to Bumblebee Man’s taunt “Buenos noches, senoritas!” (“What’d he say? Was that about me?”) to his displeasure at Burns (“Call this an unfair generalization if you must, but old people are no good at everything.”)
– Great exuberant reading of Milhouse’s “I’m freaking out!!” and final joke of the story of Skinner realizing his mother’s dress will react similarly, running off, with Chalmers following, commenting, “Now this I gotta see.” Wasn’t there a future episode showing Chalmers had an interest in Skinner’s mother? I don’t remember. Plus it was a post-classic era episode, so who cares.
– I love Homer’s stolen Oscar from, of all people, Don Ameche, and the timing and staging of the joke where he attempts to flush it multiple times off screen, followed by a pathetic “Maaaaarge, someone broke the toilet!”
– Great bit with Moe attempting to hobble Burns with a crowbar but he actually ends up fixing his gimp knee (“That precision assault popped it back into place. Thank you, masked stranger!”)
Me Blog Write Good 
The stolen Oscar originally belonged to Han S. Ngor, who had recently died. It was changed in all subsequent reruns and the DVD.
The main reason for the change wasn’t just that Ngor died, but he was murdered. The production team felt that Homer having his Oscar implied that Homer killed Han Ngor for said Oscar.
Though I like the main story here, I would’ve liked to see the school uniforms as an A-plot. There just seems to be a bit more substance to that as an idea.
The later episode with Chalmers and Skinner’s mother was Bart the Fink, just a few episodes down the line. Unless there is another later one to dwell on it.
‘Boy, they’re really socking it to that Spiro Agnew guy. He must work there or something.’
hahah, that quote about mad magazine is one of my all time favs.
This episode shows the annoyance of syndication cuts. The reruns cut Burns’ earlier line about his boweling, but it keeps the callback later in the episode (“I haven’t felt this excited since my last…boweling.”) Without the earlier bit, that line comes right the fuck out of nowhere.
I think that one was kind of funnier as a nonsequitur…
I do agree that this episode is pretty plotless, but it is so damn funny. David Mirkin had the best run of the show, so if he was in charge of this episode, that would make sense why everything works. That man was a genius.
I love how Otto says he is going after the diploma in the crane machine but then takes the harmonica.
As for Mr Burns being out of character, I’d say it was more of him just being curious where his money went to. I mean, he already spent the money, he might as well pretend to be interested.
“”To my pal, Poppin’ Fresh.” It was either Pops Freshenmeyer… or Homer Simpson.”
“Lunchlady Doris has her final speaking role her, due to the unfortunate passing of Doris Grau. It’s a great one, as always, revealing she’s the mother of one of the seemingly endless squeaky voiced teens working low-paying jobs all over Springfield.”
She also does the half-apathetic, half-enthused catwalk commentary: “Or how about little Lisa Simpson? She’ll have no reason to play the blues in this snappy ensemble, topped of with a saucy French beret that seems to scream ‘silence’!”
I agree this episode’s story is mildly messy. Mr. Burns in particular is kind of portrayed oddly here. They don’t really make him a wimp too much, but he’s also lost much of his vigor. I don’t know, something about his portrayal here is odd. But I can excuse most of it because the episode is otherwise solid. It’s hilarious, as well.
I love Moe’s dirt analogy, the Skinner and Chalmers stuff (first the 0, then the line to indicate a 1), the various teams (especially the Stereotypes… “they begged me to join their team!”), “the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked” (I used this expression all the time), and Moe’s failed attempt to cripple Burns. It’s great stuff. Maybe not the best episode, but a great effort nonetheless.
The very ending of Homer trying to steal the trophy reminded me a bit of Z***ie Simpsons, I’m just going to come out with it. Not to the point where it ruined the episode, but he’d never have gotten away with it. It was a cool ending in a way, but it threw realism away completely for the most wacky epilogue possible.
I still love this though. I think if you consider the fact that Burns knew he sucked at bowling, would’ve known the rest of them didn’t want him there, but still was narcissistic enough to stay on the team, this episode wasn’t so badly out of character for him.
I got the impression Chalmers was more interested in seeing Agnes freak out than wanting to see her in a wet dress. But yeah they did go on a date.