Now, because I hate myself…

It’s almost over. I could only make it three episodes into season 21 before I finally threw up my hands and gave up on the series, thus ending my tenure as a loyal viewer. Given the quality of shows I’ve had to slog through, I have no fucking idea how or why I lasted this long. But that’s all she wrote. Since that point, I’ve only seen a handful of newer episodes. But, I must admit, there’s some part of me that’s morbidly curious about taking a look at some of these unseen shows. Part of it comes from a guest Crazy Noises I did for Dead Homers Society on last season’s “Them, Robot,” where I was absolutely flabbergasted at the awfulness of it. Of all the shit I’ve seen over 441 episodes, I’d say “Robot” is almost worse than all of them; I couldn’t believe the show had gotten even worse in the time since I had stopped watching. Was this just a particularly bad episode? It got me curious about the state of the show currently, and if it was even possible for it to sink even lower.

Now, I’m not going to continue my countdown to the current season, I just don’t think I can do it. But here’s what I will do: watch three “new” episodes, chosen by you guys. Anything past “The Great Wife Hope” up until the present, post a comment giving me suggestions of what to watch. Name as many as you like, and I’ll pick the three most chosen, or if there’s no unanimous winners, I’ll just pick whichever ones seem most intriguing. Now, you can name episodes that you thought were actually not so bad and examples of good modern shows, or you can name episodes that were fucking awful because you want to see me yell and scream about them. It’s your choice, and I will stand by the finalists. After “Hope,” I’ll do a post to briefly talk about these three “winners,” and much fun will ensue. And by “fun,” I’m sure I mean “excruciating pain.”

66 thoughts on “Now, because I hate myself…

  1. I think you should look at episode 500 – firstly because it’s a terrible landmark episode, but also because it has a special place in my heart. It’s the first time my dad turned to me, and said… “that episode wasn’t that good, was it?” (My parents still watch the show, even though I stopped a while back. And they still enjoy it.)
    It’s terrible.
    Also, since this is my first comic, thank you for this blog. It’s been a long ride, but it’s been entertaining and interesting to read.

  2. Aww, at first I thought you were going to keep watching the rest of the new ones. I’m really going to miss reading this blog. But okay, then:

    The Greatest Story Ever D’ohed – because it’s such an unbelievable pile of shit that I have to read your review of it.

    The Book Job – Because I actually think this one is really good. Probably a few flaws here and there, but a good plot, and a lot funnier than anything I’ve seen in recent years.

    Moe Goes From Rags To Riches – Same reason as Greatest Story Ever D’ohed – I watched every Season 23 episode, and this one is way worse than “Them, Robot.”

  3. I nominate “Moe Goes From Rags To Riches”, “Lisa Goes Gaga”, “The Doh-cial Network”, “The Greatest Story Ever Doh’ed”, and “The Ned-liest Catch”. And yes, they are all awful.

  4. Seconded on Episode 500.

    Other suggestions:
    -The Fight Before Christmas
    -Moms I’d Like to Forget
    -Flaming Moe (not to be confused with the classic Season 3 episode Flaming Moe’s)
    -The Scorpion’s Tale
    -The Ned-liest Catch
    -How I Wet Your Mother
    -Ned ‘n Edna’s Blend
    -To Cur with Love

  5. I’d like to hear your thoughts on “The Squirt And The Whale.” I haven’t seen it since it aired, but I remember being surprised how much it paid attention to its story and the characters’ emotions. I’ve been meaning to revisit it for a while.

    If you want to get angry, I’ll cast another vote for “Lisa Goes Gaga.” Unquestionably the worst episode the show has given us up to this point.

  6. I’ve only seen a small handful. But THOHXXII ( Homer communicates with farts, and an Avatar parody) just may have been the worst thing I’ve ever seen on television.

  7. I vote for the recenty over hyped 500th episode, as a nice landmark episode.

    Whichever episode had Ned and Edna first meet and start dating.

    Rags to Riches, to see how far the multi-story fantasy episodes still have to drop in quality. Oh yes.

    I caught 3 newer seasons after not watching for years, but it all just blurs together. I can barely think of any outstanding episodes.
    Thanks for this blog, it’s been a lot of fun to read.

  8. Hmm… interesting.

    My main vote is for ‘The Ned-liest Catch’, because that episode was the first time since ‘Who Shot Mr. Burns?’ that they’ve tried to involve audience participation in the story, and it fails spectacularly. Plus, I know the Flanderization of Flanders is a particular bugbear of yours, so it would be interesting to hear your take on the whole ‘Nedna’ thing.

    I’ll also suggest ‘Treehouse of Horror XX’, because I remember that one actually being pretty decent (the best ToH since the 14th anyway). In fact, I enjoyed it more than any other post-Me Blog Write Good era episodes I’ve seen. Admittedly, that is damning with faint praise, but it should be a good indication of the quality range nowadays.

  9. I think you should watch “The Scorpion’s Tale”, because, who doesn’t want to see a ten years old boy becaming a drug dealer ?
    Plus: “The food wife” and “A Totally Fun Thing That Bart Will Never Do Again”

  10. Holidays of Future Passed is my favourite episode of the past decade (since “Moe Baby Blues”); I’d be interested in your thoughts on that one.

  11. For good ones, “the book job” and “holidays of futures past” are obvious choices

    On the flip side, the Israel and bar rag episodes

  12. The Bob Next Door definitely needs your input on it like the others have said that god damn bag rag episode.

    Other episodes I would like for you to review:

    The Devil Wears Nada
    Pranks and Greens
    The Color Yellow
    Postcards from the Wedge
    The Greatest Story Ever D’ohed
    Chief of Hearts
    The Squirt and the Whale
    To Surveil with Love (mainly for that Ke$ha opening)
    Moe Letter Blues
    Judge Me Tender (worst season finale EVER!)
    Elementary School Musical
    Loan-a Lisa
    The Fool Monty
    The Fight Before Christmas (mainly to mock them for whoring out to Katy Perry)
    Donnie Fatso (fat/fit Tony need I go on)
    Moms I’d Like to Forget
    Flaming Moe
    Homer the Father
    The Blue and the Gray
    Angry Dad: The Movie
    The Scorpion’s Tale (pop-out eyes treated like those novelty glasses…)
    A Midsummer’s Nice Dream
    Love Is a Many Strangled Thing (Bart not giving a shit about Homer clinging for his last breath)
    The Great Simpsina
    The Real Housewives of Fat Tony
    Homer Scissorhands
    500 Keys (An episode revolving around a farting toy…)
    The Ned-Liest Catch (fucking Nedna!)
    The Falcon and the D’ohman
    Replaceable You (killer stuffed seals which doesn’t make a whiff of sense…)
    The Food Wife (that whole stupid Meth Lab part)
    The Book Job
    The Ten-Per-Cent Solution
    Holidays of Future Passed (possibly the only post season 19 episode you’ll like)
    Politically Inept, with Homer Simpson
    The Daughter Also Rises
    At Long Last Leave (The awful 500th episode)
    How I Wet Your Mother
    Them, Robot
    Beware My Cheating Bart
    A Totally Fun Thing That Bart Will Never Do Again (totally wrong in every way)
    The Spy Who Learned Me (so many animation errors in this episode)
    Ned ‘n Edna’s Blend (oh Nedna how we did not miss you)
    Lisa Goes Gaga (leeching of Lady Gaga and giving her an exclusive promo on available on her Facebook page = ’nuff said)
    A Tree Grows in Springfield
    Homer Goes to Prep School
    A Test Before Trying

    Yes I know long fucking list but you can choose from the plot outlines on their Wikipedia pages.

  13. “The Book Job” because it’s a truly great episode. It actually has an interesting plot, it does a good job at what it parodies, Homer has lots of funny, non-jerkass moments, and a guest star voicing himself that’s actually funny. Easily the best episode of the HD era.

    “Holidays of Future Passed” because it’s also great (although I like “The Book Job” better) and does a good job at portraying a likable, believable future for the family. It’s not perfect, but it’s a nice ride all the way through.

    And finally “Donnie Fatso” because I definitely want to see your reaction. Yeah, it’s an awful episode.

  14. Can you just keep reviewing every episode please? I have RSS’d your blog since the end of Season 5, usually reading your reviews mere minutes or hours after posting. My best friend and I (who should be posting here soon too in support) use your episode reviews as jumping points to make our own discussion about the episode. It’s a pleasure reading your blog, even getting into these past few seasons. Keep going, hit the REAL finish line!

    1. I like the way Snrub (Aaron) thinks! I too think you should keep going until the very end. I have noticed your recent reviews have left you in a perpetual state of anger, but you can’t deny that it hasn’t at least been interesting, if not mesmerizing to watch what the Simpsons churn out each episode.

      There are already too many Simpsons blogs out there that fell short ((500) days of Homer and Drunk Rambles, to name a couple), but I always thought deep down that you would make the commitment to the very end, regardless of what you said about your “stopping point.” I can tell you still have the desire to keep reviewing; otherwise you wouldn’t have offered to review three more episodes. It’s only a matter of time before you say, “Okay, one more episode,” and then “Really, last one,” and then “Maybe just one more,” etc.

      I can tell by your other blogs and your commitment to this blog that you’re not the kind of guy to “half ass” it. Reading this blog has become a part of my routine and it’s something I truly enjoy. I’ve already rambled along too long, but my point should be clear: This blog has become a part of us all. A part of us all. A part of us all! Sorry to repeat myself, but it will help you remember.

    2. I agree that Me Blog Write Good has been great and I’m going to miss it, but Mr. Amato has suffered enough. By this point, Zombie Simpsons is so bland that he’s running out of new things to say anyway. Let him dedicate his time to writing something he’s still passionate about (like his Dreamworks blog for instance), or even take a well-earned break from blogging altogether.

      Also, as long as The Simpsons continues, there is no “REAL finish line”. If the series ever ends, THEN maybe prod Mike into reviewing the remaining episodes. For now, this blog is just a retrospective of his own experiences as a viewer, and ‘The Great Wife Hope’ is the conclusion of that.

  15. Of the handful of post-Season 20 shit I’ve seen, I’d love to see you rip apart any of the following:

    – “The Devil Wears Nada” (Season 21). The infamous “Marge poses nude and almost cheats with Flanders” episode. So insultingly out of character, I was practically screaming at my television.
    – “Oh Brother, Where Bart Thou” (Season 21). This is an episode I actually kind of enjoyed, despite the presence of wussy Bart and a bit with the Smothers Brothers that goes nowhere. But it has its moments.
    – “The Bob Next Door” (Season 21). I haven’t seen this one, but the horror stories I’ve heard are unbelievable. This makes “The Italian Bob” sound like “Cape Feare”.
    – “Treehouse of Horror XXI” (Season 22). You think this show’s done lame half-assed pop culture parodies before? Watch them totally whiff a Twilight spoof, something that ought to be a slow pitch over the plate.
    – “A Midsummer’s Nice Dream” (Season 22). Basically “Homerpalooza” without any of the depth. Also the point where I realized the writers don’t care which characters they shoehorn into a scene anymore – why are Reverend Lovejoy, Fat Tony, and Hans Moleman at a fucking Cheech and Chong show?
    – “Love is a Many Strangled Thing” (Season 22). Bart hangs Homer from a tree in this episode, with no remorse. What more do you need?
    – “500 Keys” (Season 22). Stuff happens until it doesn’t. It’s like “22 Short Films About Springfield” on Valium.
    – “The Falcon and the D’oh-man” (Season 23). Another wasted performance from Keifer Sutherland in a plot that can barely muster up the energy to not make any sense.
    – “The Food Wife” (Season 23). Everyone says this is one of the best of the season, being executive produced by Matt Selman instead of Al Jean, but I still think it’s garbage. Just a slightly different kind of garbage.
    – “Lisa Goes Gaga” (Season 23). I’m fairly indifferent towards Lady Gaga and I can still honestly say this is one of the worst god-fucking-damned episodes of this show I’ve ever seen in my life. It must be seen to be believed.

    Whichever episodes you choose, I just want to say thank you for putting up with the utter shit this show became in its later years, all for the sake of keeping us informed and entertained. And thank you also for your astute and loving write-ups of the classic episodes, which still help to remind me why I love the first eight seasons so much.

    1. I actually preferred ‘The Bob Next Door’ to ‘The Italian Bob’, but not by much. Bob’s plan was absurdly stupid at every turn.

  16. At the rate this is going three episodes won’t be enough. I’d love to see you do the whole series, but even if you’re not willing to do that, I think you could do a final Top 10 based on the most requested ones here. Hopefully give each the full review treatment too, instead of just quick-reviewing them all in one post.

  17. Another vote for Holidays of Futures Passed. I don’t think it’s the best or the worst, but it feels like it was supposed to be the “series finale” of sorts.

  18. Oh god, so many episodes that demand analysis. This is going to be over three, but what the hell.

    – Any of the “Treehouse of Horror” episodes: Some of the more recent Halloween specials have just been bad and I think at least one of them should be looked at. Just to show the rise and fall of one of the shows most beloved traditions.
    – “The Devil Wears Nada”: Marge almost cheats on Homer with Ned. This episode was also most likely a tie-in to the Marge-centric “Playboy” issue, which totally was respectful to the character.
    – “The Colour Yellow”: Spoiler alert, but the end of the episode reveals that the Simpsons have black ancestors! Yeah, Family Guy did the same plot nine years before this episode and did it better.
    – “The Bob Next Door”: The infamous Sideshow Bob episode where Bob switches faces with a man to enact his evil scheme. And by switching faces, I mean we get a close up of Bob peeling his face off. Multiple times… ew.
    – “Donnie Fatso”: Essentially this episode is similar to “The Principal and the Pauper” or “I Doh-Bot” in that they changed the status quo without changing the status quo.
    – “Love Is a Many Strangled Thing”: How can the show deal with it’s running gag of Home strangling Bart? I know! How about we people react realistically to Homer abusing his only son. And then we show that it’s the only way to keep Bart in check! Nobody?
    – “The Ned-Liest Catch”: You’ve shown your disdain for the whole “Nedna” thing, so this will be the perfect opportunity for you the rip to your heart’s content!
    – “Holidays of Future Passed”: A lot of people seem to like this one. Might as well check it out and compare it to “Lisa’s Wedding” and see how different they are in execution.
    – “How I Wet Your Mother”: I know you’ve heard of this. It’s the episode where Homer wears a diaper, Mona appears and there’s an “Inception” parody.
    – “Beware My Cheating Bart”: Bart starts dating Jimbo’s girlfriend. Seeing Bart make out with a girl who’s in her teens is very… creepy. Very, very creepy.
    – “Lisa Goes Gaga”: Lady Gaga is hip with the kids today! See, we’re hip! Let’s add some bullcrap about being yourself and Marge make-out with Lady Gaga, because lesbians are hawt.

    Dear god, I added a lot. Oh well, pick your poison I guess.

  19. I’ve thought about it, and I’m changing my vote to “all of them.” I’m just really going to miss this blog, honestly.

  20. Mike, add “Lisa Goes Gaga” to the list I think you should review. It’s definitely the “last straw” episode in my book. It was the first ever Simpsons episode that I could not watch from beginning to even the end of the second act. I’d trudged through a bunch of bad and worst-of episodes since I got off the Zombie Simpsons train back in season 12, but this episode has made me want to draft an open letter to Matt Groening and ask if he even cares that his name is associated with this awful crap. Go ahead, review it…you’ve been warned.

    1. I honestly do not get what is so hated about the episode. Sure, it is kind of stupid, but it is no where near insulting as others like “Homer’s Paternity Coot” and “Smoke on the Daughter.”

  21. 1. The Fool Monty (Worst Burns characterization ever, Messy plot, Everyone in town is a jerk, My personal most hated episode.)

    2. THOH XXII (Farts, nonsical murder plot’s and an Avatar retelling.)

    3. The Bob Next Door (Worst Bob episode, now with faceswapping.)

  22. Definitely Flaming Moe. I would love to hear your take on the most ridiculous, objectionable, and absolutely offensive episode I have ever seen. Of television. Yes, beating Family Guy and South Park. At least they attempt to be clever about their shots on gays and the gay world. These guys…. well it’s better left for you to see and make your own judgment on

  23. Based on quality:
    Oh brother where Bart thou
    The book job
    Holidays of future past
    Loan-a Lisa

    Based on awfulness:
    Greatest story ever dohed
    The scorpian’s tail
    Moe goes from rags to riches
    Judge me tender

  24. Sorry to hear you’re not reconsidering seeing this thing through to the very end. It’s been fun checking out your reviews every day. I don’t care if they are not in the top 3 vote getters, you absolutely cannot end this blog without reviewing Lisa Goes Gaga and especially Moe Goes from Rags to Riches. Both will make Them, Robot look like Last Exit to Springfield in comparison.

    Other than those, I think it would be fun to see you look at the handful of episodes that have been done with Matt Selman as the principal show runner (The Food Wife, The Book Job, A Totally Fun Thing Bart Will Never Do Again, and The Day the Earth Stood Cool) if only because I think they have a slightly different feel than the Jean episodes.

  25. I’m going to show compassion and cast my only vote for The Book Job – maybe you’ll enjoy one last show before the end.

  26. You can’t stop now! If you quit, it’d be like an expert knot tier quitting a knot-tying contest right in the middle of tying a knot.

    I have nothing to offer on the most recent seasons but after you’re done, reward yourself with some of the classic episodes again. Really enjoyed the blog man.

    This was the episode that genuinely made me tear up (lol). I just couldn’t believe how terrible it was.
    Must be seen to be believed. It’s a steaming pile of shit on top of a steaming pile of horse shit on top of a garbage bin full of maggots.

  28. I do not know the name of the episode, but it is the one where everyone’s eye balls kept popping out. You need to review that one.

    “Holidays of Future Passed” because I thought that is one of the best episode in years. It is almost as good as “Lisa’s Wedding.” At least, I thought so and still thought so when I rewatched it back in July.

    “Donnie Fatso” just because it brings an end to a character (even if it does kinda cop it out a bit).

  29. Take on the Holy Trinity of terrible episodes:


  30. I would rather see you review the first three episodes of season 21 just to complete your run.

    I must say I’m a little sad to see this blog end, but I don’t blame you, but could you please post sporadically like one episode every week or every other week, you could be the first and only person to watch every Simpsons episode, it’s the ultimate test of mental toughness.

    1. I’m under the impression that he’s going to review those three, and then another three past them based off of these suggestions, no?

  31. Lisa goes Gaga.
    The one that has the muppets and Katy Perry at the end
    The one that has the show selling out to such an extent that they incorporated Kesha’s tictoc song in it to promote some stupid Fox music something or other.

    But mainly the Gaga episode. I’ve never seen anything so horrific

  32. You guys are basing Gaga as being bad solely on the guest star. True, it is revolting HD Zombie era garbage, but it’s not nearly as bad as Rag or most of season 23.

    The ones I’d really like you to watch are Book Job and Holidays of Future Passed, two actually semi-decent episodes in that Zombie Simpsons sorta way.

    1. Oh, it wasn’t because of the guest star. It was because they spent the whole half-hour kissing the guest star’s ass and talking about how awesome and inspirational she is when there’s elevendy-eight-bazillion things to make fun of her for. Also, it wasn’t the least bit funny.

  33. Personally I’m not basing it on Gaga as the guest star, but I will admit that in recent years (10 years) its the only Zombie ep that I’ve watched.. and that was simply out of morbid curiosity to see how bad it actually was going to be.

    Therefore, I don’t really have any others to compare it too, so there may well be worse than this. If there is, then god help us all.

  34. When it comes to blog posts, Simpsons fans are ravenous blood-sucking monsters always wanting more… More… MORE! And if you give it to them, you’ll get _plenty_ back in return.

  35. I nominate:

    The Book Job since it was one of the better recent episodes
    Lisa Goes Gaga since it was one of the worse recent episodes
    At Long Last Leave since it’s a milestone episode (in my opinion, though, it wasn’t exceptionally good or exceptionally bad)

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