(originally aired March 29, 2009)
One trick up this show’s sleeve is simply to just rehash and reuse premises from older episodes, this one being particularly egregious. They take one of my favorite shows ever, “A Milhouse Divided,” and flat-out say that it “didn’t count.” The Parson pays a visit to Reverend Lovejoy with some bad news, that due to some mishaps with his ministerial re-certification, any ceremonies he performed during that time were fraudulent. This happens to include Homer and Marge’s second wedding as featured in “Divided.” How long did the Parson sit on this news before telling Lovejoy? Clearly this didn’t happen twelve years ago, but there must have been some considerable time passed. Plus, wouldn’t the two have a government-sanctioned marriage license outside the church anyway? There’s really no problem. But whatever, this gives Homer the chance to give Marge the wedding she’s always wanted. …but, he already did. In “A Milhouse Divided,” at home with her family and friends, it was wonderful. But no, here, Marge turns into a Bridezilla, crafting a wedding that’s exorbitant and self-indulgent, whilst being impulsively rude to her husband. Sounds like Marge alright.
The day of the wedding, Marge finds Homer missing, and believes he’s fled thanks to her overbearing nature. But, actually, he’s been kidnapped and chained up in a dingy bathroom and taunted by a gruff, menacing voice over an intercom, and forced to do humiliating and painful things to earn his freedom. …oh God. First, Saw came out in 2004, leaving the show embarrassingly late to the punch as usual. Second, we find out that it’s Patty and Selma doing this, and I guess we’re supposed to think it’s funny. The mind reels when you think about how ridiculous this show has gotten. Originally, they were the sister-in-laws, these two hags who wore down on Homer with their words, fueling his insecurities that he’s not man enough for Marge. Now, they’re criminals, chaining him up like an animal and laughing at his suffering. But of course, they’re uncharacteristically brought to tears when Homer mournfully reads out his vows, and they let him go. In the end, Marge never apologizes, and still gets the lavish wedding she apparently was always dreaming of. Honestly, fuck this episode. “A Milhouse Divided” was so wonderful and heart-felt, and this one just takes a gigantic shit all over it.
Tidbits and Quotes
– Good opening line by Lovejoy (“So, in summary, there are only two real Commandments, and the other eight are just filler.”) The congregation murmurs in interest.
– I guess the fact that the Parson acts and sings like Bing Crosby is funny. I guess? Also, more shitting on beloved characters: apparently Helen Lovejoy was once Harold. But she has a daughter, so does that mean she was once transgender and identified as male? Why the fuck am I thinking about this?
– I know they make it a joke, but the whole conceit of this episode just feels so fucking stupid. Their marriage “didn’t count,” so now they have to do it again. It’s like when a kid is playing a game and fucks up, but claims it didn’t count and wants another try. But it’s even worse than that, it’s as if the kid had a dynamite first try, then asked for another and did the worst job possible. Every time Marge bemoans about wanting the perfect wedding and Homer saying he’s gonna give it to her… they already did. It was a great fucking episode, and you REFERENCE IT IN THIS ONE GODDAMMIT.
– Marge is unbearable enough this episode, but they cap it off with horrendous dialogue (“Bridezilla? A combination of ‘bride’ and ‘Godzilla’?!”) At this point, with the show openly explaining gags and plot points left and right, I wouldn’t be surprised if that was put in so drooling morons would pick up on the joke.
– The bridesmaids are doing final gussying up on Marge when she looks in the mirror. Then afterward, she radios to the main hall, and we see that all the bridesmaids are there already. Must have run super quick. Also apparently she’s real good friends with Cookie Kwan now. I’m shocked we actually had two anonymous faces there; I guess they ran out of the four adult female characters at their disposal.
– What a lame bait-and-switch with the Sideshow Bob thing, where he and Krusty are having some kind of homoerotic man’s weekend (“At night, we slept in the same bed for warmth!”) I guess Bob holds no hard feelings toward Krusty helping the Simpsons escape from Italy. But Bart and Lisa had the wrong “SB.” Who could it be? Selma Bouvier. And not only do we see her name plate at the DMV, but both “S” and “B” are in gold letters. I don’t think you made it clear enough, guys, there’s some morons out in Oklahoma who didn’t put it together.
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Good opening line by Lovejoy (“So, in summary, there are only two real Commandments, and the other eight are just filler.”) The congregation murmurs in interest.
It’s a shame they ripped it off from George Carlin in 2001.
The only thing I remember about this episode is the whole parson-thing. Those lazy bastards who translate the Simpsons into German didn’t try to translate the word “parson” and just decided to keep it. Therefore I’ve always thought that a parson was just a made up word, a cheap Pope rip off…plausible? Mypod – Ipod; Parson – Pope. Yes, plausible.
Hey writers, if the only thing I can remember about an episode is a translation error…fuck you.
(By the way, I really love your blog Mike)
Yeah, I was pretty mad it messed with the Divided episode.
It could have been a lot better if Marge wasn’t such a jerk to Homer and rejected his input. I even could have forgiven how bad Marge was if she actually learned her lesson to not be a self-indulgent prick and the plot didn’t use Patty and Selma taking Homer away, Homer disappearing for a reason other than her overbearing nature, as an excuse for Marge to not learn her lesson. The Cleveland Show made the same error with Donna in The Essence of Cleveland, which I do not want to talk about more here.
Also there’s no freakin’ way Homer & Marge’s 2nd wedding happened in the last 3 months considering we had the occtuplets and Kirk & Luanne re-untiing upon other things… also Apu wasn’t at the 2nd wedding was he?
– I know they make it a joke, but the whole conceit of this episode just feels so fucking stupid. Their marriage “didn’t count,” so now they have to do it again. It’s like when a kid is playing a game and fucks up, but claims it didn’t count and wants another try. But it’s even worse than that, it’s as if the kid had a dynamite first try, then asked for another and did the worst job possible. Every time Marge bemoans about wanting the perfect wedding and Homer saying he’s gonna give it to her… they already did. It was a great fucking episode, and you REFERENCE IT IN THIS ONE GODDAMMIT.
I swear ZS episode plot points sound like video game objectives now. Wait until you get to Waverly Hills 9021-D’oh [shudders]…
I actually don’t think the Waverly Hills episode was so bad. It wasn’t very good, but I did like how it mocked the lifestyles of those who think they are better than anyone else just because they have money.
Fair enough but the characterisation of Lisa was warped and Homer and Marge needing to wait for an inspector to prove they live there instead of the standard utility bills and the like as normal was very ridiculous…
And why the hell was Flanders dancing for joy at the sight of Lovejoy’s friend? I’m not religious but he’s obviously some sort of higher up, or somehow famous person, but seriously what was the point of this scene?
The minister coming along and saying that it turns out the weddings he performed aren’t valid is a long-running sitcom plotline. Scrubs did it in reverse where Dr. Cox and his ex-wife found out they were never actually divorced.
In real life, the law says that if the couple has reasonable expectation to believe that they were married and the minister was qualified, then the marriage still counts.
Who writes this garbage?
Marge makes it very clear during “Divided” what it was she wanted from a wedding. Fair enough maybe do some new episode where for some reason they have another marriage but don’t explicitly reference the episode you plan to shit all over while you do it.
Wait, Helen Lovejoy was beloved?
…But seriously, that Harold Lovejoy joke was just another blatant attempt at shock humor, something this show relies far too much on for it to be any good.
I shouldn’t reread this blog, it keeps reminding me of awful episodes I thought I’d forgotten.
Really I don’t think this one has any redeeming features at all, I can’t even think of one line that made me smile.
“ Helen Lovejoy was once Harold. But she has a daughter, so does that mean she was once transgender and identified as male?“ Haha you give the writers too much credit. They probably just forgot all about Jessica just so they could make jokes about sex changes they were tired 10 years before the episode aired.
The Bing Crosby parson is based off of a movie he appeared in called “The Bells of St. Mary’s”. A movie which came out in 1948, which I’m sure everyone under the age of 70 has seen.
1945*
Not the most inspiring episode., but I did like the Magie povv shot – they should do Moor of those.