166. Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala-D’oh-cious

(originally aired February 7, 1997)
One of the most delightfully bizarre installments of the series, this episode is a tour de force of hilarious isolated bits, great musical numbers and a nice reaffirmation of the family and their self-determined place in the world. We start things off seeing Marge losing her hair due to stress from dealing with the family, so she suggests that they find a housekeeper to help out. Enter Shary Bobbins, a completely original character (like Rickey Rouse and Monald Muck), a prim and perfect nanny who in no time at all makes the Simpsons a polite, dignified household. I think originally the writers wanted Julie Andrews for obvious reasons, but Maggie Roswell does a dynamite job, dare I say a better Andrews sound-alike than the genuine article. This episode has forever tainted that character and that movie for me, and I couldn’t be more glad about it. It takes about six seconds after Bobbins leaves for the Simpsons to descend into bedlam again, and in the end, the family reassures her that despite their shortcomings and foibles, they’re happy just the way they are.

I previously decried “The Springfield Files” a bit for being thin on story, and here we have another Jean/Reiss produced episode that is just the same, and has a helluva lot of padding. But, that doesn’t bother me at all here. A lot of filler comes from extended TV segments, but they work within the first and third acts when the family begins as lazy slobs, and eventually turn back into lazy slobs. Their disinterest in bettering themselves is passed onto the viewer; if the family isn’t doing anything interesting, why not see what’s on TV? And every bit we see is gold: the Krusty Komedy Klassic (“KKK? That’s not good…”), li’l Rainier Wolfcastle’s first commercial, Charles Brosnan’s guest spot on The Andy Griffith Show (“Now, I’m going down to Emmett’s Fix-It Shop, to fix Emmett,”) and of course the special Itchy & Scratchy show directed by Quentin Tarantino. The segments with Bobbins are also fantastic, either contrasting against the Simpson family’s boorish ways, or in seeing the kids actually behave, like the scene from Mary Poppins where they take a walk through the unusually old timey park.

The music is superb, each either assisting the plot or a wonderful parody from Poppins. We start with “Minimum Wage Nanny,” as the family yearns for the perfect nanny (“Teach us songs and magic tricks / Might I add, no fat chicks!”), “Cut Every Corner” teaches a questionable lesson about sweeping problems under the rug (“If nobody sees it, then nobody gets mad / It’s the American way!”), and “A Boozehound Named Barney” is a hilarious parody of “Feed the Birds,” featuring Barney’s operatic lament of being sober (“Move it, yah drunk, or I’ll blast your rear end! / I found two bucks / Then come in, my friend!”) They’re all fabulous, but my favorite is probably the final number, “Happy Just the Way We Are.” While the family has hopes and dreams, they are also fully aware of who they are and comfortable with that fact. As seen in the series, any massive shift in their world will eventually dissolve, leaving them back where they started, and they’re fine with that. It’s also like a song in ode to the status quo; we love these characters as is and don’t want to see them change. It’s a truly wonderful episode, one of the all time greats, with a solid main story, classic music and lots of extra funny bits peppered into the mix.

Tidbits and Quotes
– Krusty’s Komedy Klassic doesn’t go so well. First up, an act Krusty claims has never been done before: dumb pet tricks! He has a dog trained to catch a red rubber ball, which is suspiciously similar in shape and color as his clown nose. I wonder what’s going to happen? (“Auggh! Somebody shoot it! Somebody shoot it!”) Then he tries out a new sketch: “Mad About Shoe,” where he’s shown married to a giant piece of footwear. The audience understandably boos (“You’re not going to like our ‘NYPD Shoe’ sketch. It’s pretty much the same thing.”) Even Krusty’s biggest fan Bart is unimpressed, and would change the channel if they could find the remote. Turns out Grampa has it in the kitchen, thinking it’s a phone, but instead tries the “old-fashioned model,” holding a plugged in iron up to his ear, complete with sizzling noise.
– I love the “Hair” montage, scandalously starting with Marge in the shower, shocked to find a clump of hair by the drain. Also great is Bart and Milhouse playing cowboys in the living room, and a blue tumbleweed rolls by. It isn’t long before Marge’s beehive is covered with empty patches. Homer tries to calm his devastated wife (“Don’t worry about a thing. I’ll teach you to comb it over so no one can tell. Just like my hair!”) Marge imagines herself only with her husband’s three strands of hair and immediately breaks down in tears.
– To pay for the nanny, Homer vows to give up his membership of the Civil War Re-Creation Society. Moe’s now out a General Ambrose Burnside, and Barney voices his complaints about their Stonewall Jackson, Apu (“The south shall come again!”)
– The family interviews some potential nannies: the first, an elderly woman Mrs. Pennyfeather, who seems like a fine choice, but Homer is suspicious (“Wait a minute, Marge. I saw Mrs. Doubtfire. This is a man in drag!”) He then accosts her “wig,” trying to expose her disguise. It’s such a great read from Dan Castellaneta, culminating in him chasing her across the lawn yelling, “Gimme those!” Those? Like her fake breasts or something? Kearney puts in his bid for the job, impressing Homer (“I’ll keep a watchful eye on your kids and if they get out of line… Pow!” “I like him.” “Thanks. Hey, where do you keep the liquor?” “I hide a bottle of schnapps in the baby’s crib.”)
– Shary Bobbins informs Homer of her previous employer, Lord and Lady Huffington of Sussex, and he whispers to Marge, asking if they know them. He ultimately confuses them with “the guy he bowls with” (“So, you work for Carl, eh?”) Bart has questions of his own for the potential new nanny, channeling Dennis Hopper in Speed (“Pop quiz, hotshot. I’m supposed to be doing my homework, but you find me upstairs reading a Playdude. What do you do? What do you do?” “I make you read every article in that magazine, including Norman Mailer’s latest clap-trap about his waning libido.”)
– I love the energy of “Cut Every Corner,” as well as checking in with Wiggum and Apu doing their own brands of half-assery (“And the clerk who runs the store / can charge a little more / for meat (for meat) / and milk (and milk) / from nineteen-eighty-foooooooooouur.”)
– Great great scene of Willie’s one-man band version of “Maniac,” and his past encounter with the lovely Ms. Bobbins (“Shary Bobbins and I were engaged to be wed back in the old country. Then she got her eyesight back. Suddenly the ugliest man in Glasgow wasn’t good enough for her.” “It’s good to see you, Willie.” “That’s not what you said the first time you saw me!”)
– Miss Bobbins even manages to soothe the black heart of Mr. Burns, entrancing him into flying a kite. He starts to really enjoy himself, until he’s quickly struck by lightning (“What’s this strange sensation in my chest?” “I think your heart’s beating again.” “Oh, that takes me back. God bless you, Shary Bobbins!”)
– I love the momentary break in Bobbins’s kindly nature, initially annoyed at Bart and Lisa’s request for yet another song (“I’ve been singing you songs all day. I’m not a bloody jukebox!”)
– Great second act break of Grampa getting a hold of Bobbins’s umbrella (“I think we got our umbrellas swiiiiiiitttcchhed!”)
– The third act is a little bit cruel, as Bobbins has basically replaced Marge as the family maid. Not even her catchy songs can motivate them anymore (“But the beer will taste more sweet, if you get up off your seat…” “Lady, the man asked for a beer, not a song.”) I also love her muttering “Do-re-mi-fa-so…” under her breath as she walks out of the room. Eventually she fully breaks, getting drunk with Barney in the Simpsons living room. The family reassures her that they’re happy as is, to which Bobbins replies in song, “Don’t think it’s sour grapes, but you’re all a bunch of apes / and so I must be leaving yooooou!” And then she’s sucked into a jet engine, an ending that by all purposes should be horrifying and brutally off-tone, but by God is it funny as hell.