132. Bart Sells His Soul

(originally aired October 8, 1995)
This is another one of those episodes that I remember seeing on syndication a lot, so it really sticks out to me. It remains one of my favorites, harboring a very interesting introspective journey for Bart, along with one of the silliest B-plots ever, and despite it being completely unrelated, the episode still completely works. The plot goes like this: Milhouse rats out Bart for a prank he pulled in church, fearing the fate of his soul. When Bart chastises him for such a foolish belief, Milhouse gets him to sell him his soul for five bucks, as embodied on a sheet of paper reading “Bart Simpson’s Soul.” I love the very kid-like conversation the two have on the concept of souls, with Milhouse claiming it can swim and is equipped with wheels to get to the afterlife. I also like his unusually vindictive turn on Bart when he returns later to ask for his “soul” back. For once, the ball’s in his court and he’s going to savor each moment.

When the trade is made, Bart starts to experience a bizarre sense of emptiness, unable to laugh at Itchy & Scratchy or enter an automatic door, like something very important is missing. We get one of the most classic dream sequences in the series of children and their souls rowing to a divine promise land, but Bart is stuck without a partner to oar with. All of this is dealt with very innocently at first, but grows more and more grave as Bart gets increasingly desperate. He even attempts to acquire a replacement soul from an unwitting Ralph, although the way in which he would do that isn’t clear. Bart finds out Milhouse sold his soul to the comic book store for ALF pogs (“Remember ALF? He’s back, in pog form!”) My favorite shot of the show is Bart in the fetal position sleeping in front of the Android’s Dungeon until it opens; it’s the perfect transition and depiction of how low he has sunk. Comic Book Guy informs Bart his soul has already been sold, which eventually brings Bart to his last option: prayer. Evoking as much true emotion as his previous attempt at prayer in “Bart Gets An F,” his wishes are similarly granted, but this time by an eavesdropping Lisa, revealed to be the mysterious buyer.

This all sounds a little thin to take up twenty-two minutes. Well you’d be right, and do I have the B-story for you. Moe decides to cash in on the recent craze of family-friendly restaurants by turning his rundown tavern into a T.G.I. Fridays-esque eatery, Uncle Moe’s Family Feedbag. Boy do I love everything about this subplot, the classic moments are endless: “But Moe, the dank! The dank!”, his Navy-owned deep fryer that can flash-fry a buffalo in forty seconds (“Forty seconds? But I want it now!”), his furious straining to maintain a grin during his commercial… it’s all so great. And the million dollar birthday fries! That and all the other “fun” names for simple foods (try the southwestern pizza fingers, they’re awesomely outrageous!) Sadly, the restaurant doesn’t last long as Moe’s short temper gets the best of him. What I like is that there’s really only two scenes at Uncle Moe’s, but the ending of Moe losing it is set up in the first scene, which leads in his frustration building and building in the second scene, only to be unleashed at an innocent little girl and her cold teeth in perhaps the greatest Moe line (“Your teef hurt? That’s too freakin’ bad! You hear me! I’ll tell you where you can put your freakin’ sodie too!!”) How brilliant this show is that they can maintain two stories that couldn’t be more different tone-wise, but never clash and feel like a whole. Amazing.

Tidbits and Quotes
– Bart’s “In The Garden of Eden, by I. Ron Butterfly” prank is amazing, with Homer naughtily reminding Marge about how they used to make out to this “hymn,” and Lovejoy’s slow realization, “This sounds like rock and or roll!”
– Bart assures Milhouse that the soul was just made up to scare kids “like the Boogeyman or Michael Jackson.” Milhouse responds, “But every religion says there’s a soul, Bart. Why would they lie? What would they have to gain?” Cut to Lovejoy sorting out a wave of change from the collection plate. Pitch perfect social commentary.
– The role of Hibbert’s kids basically lost its purpose when the show was no longer up against The Cosby Show. I’m probably wrong, but this may be the last time we see them. I always laugh at Hibbert’s daughter’s innocent comment, “Daddy, this place smells like tinkle,” and the other kids exciting suggestions of other crazy restaurants to eat at (including the mouthful “Professor P. J. Cornucopia’s Fantastic Foodmagorium and Great American Steakery.” I want that to exist so I can go there right now). We also get the classic Barney line, “Natural light! Get it off me!”
– I love that Bart bought those little foam dinosaurs, since I did those all the time as a kid… and occasionally as an adult. I like his fantasy of the dinosaur growing to actual size and chewing up Lisa (“It’s dripping funny-smelling water all over me!”), but of course, in actuality, the piece of foam just floats into the storm drain.
– This episode’s full of great quick lines: Rod and Todd’s “Thank you, door!”, Jimbo’s “Way to breath, no-breath!” and Apu’s “Sanjay to the entrance with the Windex… Sanjay to the entrance with the Windex.” Three classic lines in one scene!
– As I said, every Uncle Moe scene is great: the entire bar is being renovated, with everything covered with sheets, including Barney. Homer throws out two possible names (Chairman Moe’s Magic Wok, Madman Moe’s Pressure Cooker) both of which Barney likes. Moe suggests, “Uncle Moe’s Family Feedbag,” which Barney hates.
– I love how merciless Milhouse is, toying with a clearly despondent Bart. The snappy animation of Milhouse’s “Yeeeeeesss?” when Bart first comes up to him (then followed by “Noooo”) is hilarious, as is his feeble attempt to do an evil laugh.
– Moe’s commercial is hilarious, especially the end with the poor jingle (“Come to Uncle Moe’s for family fun, it’s good good good good, good good good!”) and the hysterical animation of him attempting to hold his grin to the camera, which is definitely physically hurting him.
– Very sweet moment when Marge can tell something’s wrong with Bart, and attempts to decipher it with hugs. She boils it down to he’s missing something, and when Bart suggests maybe it’s a missing soul, Marge chuckles off her son’s amusing “joke” (“Aw, honey, you’re not a monster.”)
– I love Moe first losing it after being innocently squirted by Ralph with a water pistol (“What the hell are you doing, you little freak?!”) and his hasty apology (“Sorry, kid, sorry. I’m not used to the laughter of children. It cuts through me like a dentist drill. But no, no, that was funny, that was funny taking away my dignity like that, ha-ha-ha.”)
– Hilarious act break when Bart runs out of the restaurant, and Homer’s brain urges him to support his son so he can eat his spaghetti and Moe-balls. And he does, with his mouth stuffed (“Run, boy! Run for your life! …..boy!”)
– That last Uncle Moe scene, I could just quote the whole thing, it’s one of my favorite scenes of the entire series. But I’ll just quote one line: “Ow! My freakin’ ears!” Another use of Rod and Todd as overly impressionable youngsters. And Ned’s indignant “I’d expect that kind of language at Denny’s, but not here!” is fantastic.
– Totally random addition of the insane street sweeper who drives his vehicle down a subway station… but I love it’s there.
– Brilliant performance by Dan Castellaneta as the raving derelict, who talks so fast that you can barely make out what he’s saying. Neither can Wiggum (“Who’s been stealing your thoughts?”)
– I love how cranky Kirk Van Houten is, perhaps justified in that it’s 2am (“Milhouse, give him back his soul, I’ve got work tomorrow!”) The finale of the scene with Bart running out screaming is so funny (“Close the door, you’re letting the heat out!” “Shut up, shut up, shut up!!“) Man, Kirk is pissed.
– This really seems like it’s gonna be the Comic Book Guy season, who is a tremendous one scene wonder here (“Excuse me, no banging your head on the display case, please. It contains a very rare Mary Worth in which she has advised a friend to commit suicide. Thank you.”)
– An incredibly satisfying end note with the follow-up to Bart’s dream: with his soul back, he’s able to row to Nirvana comfortably, but not before knocking over Martin’s boat, almost drowning his soul. That mischievous little scamp.

Completely unrelated note: updated my Disney Animated Canon blog with Tangled.