(originally aired November 9, 2003)
It’s undeniable that “Mother Simpson” is one of the most touching episodes of the entire series. To me, it’s only second to “Lisa’s Wedding.” The question of what happened to Homer’s mother had really been untouched prior to that, and that episode illuminated her character, her backstory, and her heartbreaking relationship with her son. So now eight years later, we have a followup with the return of Mona Simpson, an opportunity to tell another story and showcase a different side to her character. Or, we’ll just repeat the same beats as the first time. Things start on thin ice immediately with how Mona is reintroduced: desperately searching for a newspaper headline gaffe to win a T-shirt, Homer discovers a hidden message from Mona in an article by highlighting the first letter in each column, with the note telling him to meet under a local overpass at midnight. This plan is absolutely asinine, as the chances of Homer getting the paper, reading the article and decoding this bizarre puzzle are essentially slim to none. Apparently Mona had her friends at the “liberal media” (groan) pick an article about food to catch Homer’s eye, but I guess she also didn’t figure that her son is a complete dunce who could never figure this out unless by plot convenience.

Mona is still on the lam for her attacks on Mr. Burns’s germ warfare plant decades ago, and it isn’t long before she’s caught and finally stands trial. The jury is touched by a blubbering testimony from Homer, and Mona is found not guilty, free to live and catch up with her family. The middle act serves as an indicator of how much the show has strayed, because invariably you have to compare it to “Mother Simpson.” Genuinely sweet moments like Homer and Mona chuckling about dresser drawers and Lisa connecting with her enlightened grandmother are replaced with stupid shit like Homer forcing Marge to recreate the birth of Bart and Homer somehow ripping the entire guest room out of Flanders’s house to affix to his. When your show is filled with so many ridiculous gags and set pieces, it’s hard to really get any emotional reaction from anything because whatever moments like that there are, they’re given no breathing room. Upon meeting his mother again, Homer has an internal dilemma about whether he should emotionally open up to the woman who abandoned him twice. He then proceeds to hug her… then it’s revealed to be a bum. And Homer steals his wine. It basically obliterates any real emotional response I might have had.

Ever the vindictive one, Burns ends up getting Mona sent back to prison on a technical charge, and Homer can come up with no better plan than to bust her out by hijacking her prison bus. To save her son from facing a prison sentence himself, Mona pushes him from the vehicle and evades the police, before the bus careens off the road and into a lake. It then explodes, and is completely buried by an avalanche, all of which Homer sees with his own eyes. We know she’s not dead, but this is fucking horrifying for Homer. During her funeral, Homer tearfully holds his mother’s casket, saying that at least now he’ll never lose her again. Then the casket rolls away down the hill. I guess this is supposed to be a gag, but it’s just so absolutely terrible and in bad taste. Then the episode ends with Homer frantically looking through articles to find another coded message, and the family humors him by agreeing that Mona is still alive. It’s a really unsettling ending that doesn’t feel handled that right way, considering how jokey and callous the show is now. But in summation, this episode is basically running on nostalgia fumes, essentially retelling the same basic story we saw in “Mother Simpson,” except much more clumsily and crassly. But it’s nothing compared to the third Mona episode. My God… more on that dung heap later.

Tidbits and Quotes
– The Oops Patrol opening is basically an act-long extension of the “Ketchup Truck Hits Hamburger Stand, Three Dead” gag from “Lisa the Treehugger,” and the shot of Homer’s brain filled with black and white 30’s cartoon characters is straight from the Shary Bobbins episode. Hooray for recycling!
– Honestly, Mona could have just showed up at the Simpson house in a simple disguise. But then again, Lou instantly recognizes her and Eddie has her wanted poster in the car for some reason. In “Mother Simpson,” it made sense since Burns saw the poster on the old post office bulletin board, but here, not so much.
– Homer crashes his car through the police station, but of course there’s no repercussions for it. Although later he admits he’s due back in court multiple times the day of his mother’s trial, so maybe that’s part of it. But then, once again, Homer’s gone from everyman to maniac with repeat felonies who damages property and torches blood banks (!)
– Nice 19th century woodcut of Burns preying on young children.
– I really like Judge Snyder, I don’t know why. I also like we find out about his taunting sister and that he just got divorced, there’s a lot more to learn about him. Except now his airtime’s been cut down since we got Judge Judy… I mean, Judge Harm. This is the first time we’ve seen him since that episode, actually.
– The “I’m not a man who’s good with words…” silence bit goes on soooo long. Which then is immediately followed by Homer’s sniveling plea to save his mother. The two bits don’t gel together at all.
– Mona signing her name as “Anita Bonghit” is kind of juvenile, but I can see her having a raw sense of humor as an old hippie.
– The flipping though the highway warnings is another joke that goes on far too long. Know when to quit, guys.
– “Mom, I’m gonna hide you where there’s no one around for miles: Disney’s California Adventure!” Shot number two! Zing! Again, no one besides theme park geeks like me knew about or gave a shit about California Adventure in 2003.
– Mona’s funeral consists of each Simpson family member saying a punchline, instead of it actually being, you know, a heartfelt scene with a deeper meaning.

(originally aired November 2, 2003)
Another year, another Halloween show. John Swartzwelder takes the helm for all three segments here, and despite the decline in quality of his post-classic years episodes, I actually enjoyed this one, as it struck a fair balance between creepy and violent and delightfully silly. First in “Reaper Madness,” Homer offs the Grim Reaper, and by putting on his robe, he ends up becoming Death himself. Things are wonderfully weird right away that Homer cracks the Reaper’s skull with a bowling ball, then when he dumps his deceased bones and other remnants into the trash can outside, he gives his garments a try (“Check it out! I finally found a dead guy’s clothes that fit me!”) On his first assignment, we have an establishing shot of the Retirement Castle with Homer’s car parked out front, and I immediately chuckled thinking of him driving there in his robes, and walking through the front door as Death to kill Jasper. I’m sure no one batted an eye at him about that. The finale involves the powers that be commanding Homer kill Marge, but he gets out of it by tricking God and escaping on his motorcycle. It sounds really stupid… because it is, but it’s done in such a goofy fashion that it made it even funnier to me.

In “Frinkenstein,” Professor Frink finds he’s won the Nobel Prize, but is saddened that his father isn’t around to see his success… because his body is being kept alive in his freezer. Reanimated, John Frink, Sr. seeks to replace his new mechanical body parts with the real deal, ripping vital organs out of the people of Springfield. Seeing him rip Flanders’s heart out through his throat or tearing Skinner’s spine from his back are pretty horrifying to see, but it’s all so dumb and ridiculous that I still laughed at it, especially when we get to the point where Frink, Sr. is nothing but stolen body parts. He’s voiced by Jerry Lewis, in a great bit of casting considering he’s the basis of Frink’s voice. In his first scene when you go from Hank Azaria to him, it couldn’t be more clear, and just to hear Lewis go nuts and do the “hyuvin!” noises is pretty excellent. I wasn’t completely on board or understood what made Frink, Sr. such a maniac and go nuts at the end, but again, seeing him rip off people’s scalps and stuff brains into his head is such a bizarre sight, I just had to marvel at it.

Lastly we have “Clockstoppers.” Oh wait, I mean “Stop the World, I Want To Goof Off.” Bart gets a stopwatch from an ad in an old comic book that apparently can stop time, and wouldn’t you know, it actually works. He and Milhouse proceed to run wild, messing with the minds of everyone in town. Their pranks are all pretty entertaining to watch, going from pantsing Skinner (“My trousers! They’ve descended!”) to repeatedly putting costumes on Mayor Quimby, everything from a maid’s outfit to a gigantic sandwich. When the kids are found out, an angry mob quickly forms out for blood. Bart and Milhouse stop time, but destroy the watch in the process. After reaping the benefits of being the only two active people on Earth, they decide they need to try and fix things. Of course eight hours of watch repair takes the boys fifteen years to complete, leaving them worse-for-wear twenty-somethings. In a wonderfully cruel moment, they place Martin in front of the mob before they resume time, leaving him as the scapegoat to be pummeled mercilessly. All three segments were surprisingly strong, amusing and enjoyable; the best Halloween show since season 11.

Tidbits and Quotes
– I don’t care for the opening. Unlike the rest of the episode, the violence feels uncomfortable instead of goofy. But I do like the tag with Kang and Kodos commenting how the episode is being aired in November (“Who’s still thinking about Halloween? We already have our Christmas decorations up!”)
– I like the Benny Hill chase of Death and the Simpsons throughout the upstairs hallway. This setting and context works a hell of a lot better than the same gag in “A Star is Born Again.”
– Great bit with Frankie the Squealer unable to die, followed by a not-so-great bit with Moe hanging himself.
– I love the ending of “Reaper,” with God unable to identify Patty right away, and chasing Homer as a beam of light, which ultimately is stopped by a train whizzing by. He quickly gives up with an excellent, quotable line (“Doggone it, I am too old and too rich for this.”)
– I like the idea of Frink, Sr. as a more rugged, adventure-seeking scientist, like an Indiana Jones to regular Frink’s Nutty Professor. I kind of wish there had been another episode that developed this relationship seriously in the series proper. We’ve never had a Frink episode before. Pity.
– They must have recorded Jerry Lewis somewhere with sub-optimal acoustics. In the moments when he gets real loud, which is quite often, it sounds like he’s stuck in a shower.
– Frink wins the Nobel Prize for his hybrid hammer-screwdriver (“It was a slow year.”) I love that this not-very-impressive invention crux of why he decided just now to reanimate his father, that it would save him the inconvenience of switching tools.
– Even a throwaway role from Jennifer Garner becomes memorable when teamed with a no-nonsense Nobel laureate (“This is the most exciting Nobel Prize ceremony ever!” “I disagree.”)
– Jerry Lewis really did a great job, with his crazy noises accompanying Frink on stage, and his labored death sequence. I also like that Frink, Sr. asserts he’s going to hell so casually.
– I like the running gag of Milhouse’s non-response to Bart’s questions (“Yeah… but you say it first.”) It feels very in-character.
– Nice bit out front of Town Hall with the endlessly changing announcement board.
– Another throwaway role for Oscar de la Hoya, but considering it involves him brutally punching a defenseless ten-year-old, I’d say it’s worth it (“Dios mio! This kid is fun to hit!”)