(originally aired December 14, 2003)
I still remain bewildered as to why the writers seem content in writing Homer as an asshole. But it’s not even like his character is consistently dicky, from scene to scene he can run the gambit of being insensitive, callous, ignorant, infantile… now, these are traits that classic Homer also inhabited, but the key difference here is the lack of a human soul. Homer may fuck shit up at home, or allow horrible things to happen due to his inattentiveness, but he’ll always work tooth and nail to get it fixed for the good of his family. He may go about it the entirely incorrect way, but his heart is always in the right place, fueled by his love for his wife and kids. Look no further than the very first episode “Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire,” where we see Homer do everything within his power to provide a perfect Christmas for his family. That Homer is long dead, as now we have selfish Homer, who upon falling into a bunch of money, splurges it on an extravagant, worthless gift for himself. When Lisa asks why he did it, he responds, “If I’m happy, I’m less abusive to the rest of you!” He’s less of a patriarch and more like the family’s jerkoff housemate at this point.

Watching “A Christmas Carol” on TV convinces Homer to change his selfish ways, so he vows to be the nicest guy in town, doing good deeds everywhere he can, which sparks some jealous from New Flanders. So, basically it becomes a low rent version of “Homer Loves Flanders.” None of Homer’s actions feel genuine whatsoever, it seems it’s more of obligation to save his own ass from scorn. He engages in dueling collection plates at mass with Flanders, collecting a much bigger till, and has the smuggest fucking look on his face when he walks off arms crossed with Lovejoy. This couldn’t pale more in comparison with “Homer Loves Flanders,” which featured Homer unintentionally stealing Ned’s thunder and it slowly eating away at him, which is so much more interesting. Here, Homer is Mr. Wonderful and succeeds at all his charitable efforts because the story demands it, even going so far as building a fucking ice rink in his backyard. Homer had two dollars to spend on a Christmas tree, now he has the money to build that?

There’s really not much story to be had, as a lot of this episode is filled with TV parodies and extended music montages, none of which are particularly funny. As a final charitable effort, Flanders gets gifts for everyone in town, and misconstruing Lisa’s words, Homer decides to steal all the gifts so the people can enjoy a non-commerical Christmas, basically just an excuse for them to do a Grinch parody. The town is out for Homer’s blood once they find out, Flanders defends him, claiming he’s partially responsible, which I’ll buy because he’s Flanders, then Homer distracts the crowd with a bright shining star in the sky, Flanders reads from the Bible, they get their presents back, and that’s the end. So despite having committed hundreds of burglaries, Homer gets off scot-free in the end, of course. I really don’t understand the ending. Or most of the episode, for that matter. Homer was once a character you truly cared about, who felt real and you hoped would succeed. Then he started to do stupid, reckless shit and you started to hate him. But now we’re at the point where a lot of what he does just plain confuses me. He’s just this anything-goes character they can have do whatever they need for whatever scene. But none of this is new information. At some point these reviews are going to become somewhat redundant, because all this shit’s going to start running together.

Tidbits and Quotes
– Comic Book Guy dumping out his entire register for the Joe DiMaggio card is not nearly as funny as the backpedaling of his excitement about Mrs. Prince’s box of priceless Star Wars memorabilia from “Worst Episode Ever.”
– Lots of claymation in this episode, with the Jimmy Stewart Xmas special and the California Prunes commercial. The ending of lifting prune baby Jesus in the air, complete with cool shades reaching towards the heavens, made me smile.
– You really don’t like Homer for his actions in act one, don’t believe his strive for redemption in act two, and are just flabbergasted by his criminal behavior in act three. In the end, I’m just left very confused.
– Instead of her star suit, Maggie is wearing a white jumper with a little ear nub, sort of like Bongo the rabbit from Life in Hell.
– Homer is swayed by “Mr. McGrew’s Christmas Carol,” where they basically just do Mr. Magoo straight, with no subversion or twist. And we spend a while on Homer watching it, it all feels like time killing. I like the Star Trek version of an Xmas Carol though (“Mr. Scott, fire photon torpedoes!” “It’s no use, captain! He’s showing visions of me future! God, I’m so fat!”)
– Homer gets Lenny a photo cube with rounded off corners, then proceeds to jab his eye with it repeatedly, because I guess now, eye injury is a “thing” with Lenny.
– The only laugh I got from the episode was the retouched photo of Homer used on the news, of him looking like a maniac lunging at Marge and Lisa, with a bouquet of flowers in his clasped hands. Now that I look at it again, I guess they blurred out Bart where he’s strangling, but I always envisioned that he was holding a knife or a gun or something.
– Another joke about Nelson missing his father. And another joke about Moe committing suicide. Any topic can be made funny, but the show really misses the mark when it comes to these two subjects. The former is presented as far too sad, and the latter plays off the serious subject so callously that it’s almost offensive. Merry Christmas, everybody.

(originally aired December 7, 2003)
In a similar fashion as “My Mother the Carjacker,” this episode drags back a classic guest star for a repeat performance, without any of the emotional resonance or sensibility that made them great in the first place. This instance might be worse, actually; “Carjacker” just repeated the beats of its predecessor, whereas here, Rabbi Krustofski is pretty much absent for the second half of the episode in favor of a completely nonsensical and ridiculous B-“plot.” There’s a beginning involving getting rid of Santa’s Little Helper’s bastard puppies, but it’s inconsequential to the story completely, as Krusty adopts one and we never see it after the first act. Krusty is surprised to find himself absent from the Jewish Walk of Fame, and discovers he is ineligible due to having never had a bar mitzvah. He consults his father about it, who tells him he never had the ceremony out of fear that his son would make a mockery of it. Krusty vows to truly embrace his religion, and to finally, at long last, become a man.

Rabbi Krustofski was the most highly regarded holy man in his village, and his son was never bar mitzvahed? Krusty clowned about his whole life, but in “Like Father, Like Clown,” we see through flashback the rabbi gushing about how his son is at the top of his class, implying that as he got older, Krusty managed to keep his antics from his father’s prying eyes. At least that’s just the way I see it, so I don’t entirely buy this premise. Krusty begins to adhere to his long ignored Jewish customs, which ultimately costs him his show (more on that in a bit). Desperate, he pitches to FOX that they air his bar mitzvah live, a sensationalist event featuring the Beach Boys Experience, Mr. T, and other glitz and glamor to undermine any shred of seriousness the ceremony might have. This segment of the episode is the only part that works, Krusty selling out his faith for the artificial televised thrill, with a spinning wheel Star of David and bad Jewish puns (“I can’t schmear you!”) Except earlier we see that Krusty’s old Jewish village is filled with puns too (L.L. Beanie, I Can’t Believe It’s Not Trayfe!) So context doesn’t matter here. As “The Regina Monologues” featured nonstop easy British jokes, here we have the same with Jew jokes.

Now that he observes the Sabbath, Krusty can’t record a show on Saturday, so he needs a replacement host. Who will it be? Homer, of course. Why? Because he was right there when Krusty was talking about it. The crowds cheer as the curtains open to reveal Homer, Moe, Lenny and Carl sitting around a table, talking about stupid topics like tight seats on airplanes and lame oldies stations. Surely this audience of kids don’t give a shit about this show, but apparently adults do, and within one minute, Homer’s show is the headline of fucking Variety magazine. Why is his show a big success? Why do they like it? The plot is just fast-tracked: Lisa urges Homer to use his newfound power to talk about real issues, which of course gets him swiftly cancelled. Too bad none of the story works whatsoever, and moreover, it completely takes over Krusty’s plot. We go right to the crazy bar mitzvah without any word in edgewise from Rabbi Krustofski. It would make perfect sense to have scenes of Krusty planning all the sacrilegious stuff and the rabbi urging him not to, leaving Krusty to have to choose between his fame and his faith. Instead, we get whatever the fuck that Homer story was. It’s the worst B-plot we’ve ever seen, and completely kills an episode that wasn’t holding up too well to start with.

Tidbits and Quotes
– Santa’s Little Helper’s last night on the town of animal porn theaters and doggie prostitutes is so uncomfortable and disturbing. Really, this show is just not the place for this type of humor. At least done in such a brash manner. In the end, Homer doesn’t have SLH neutered, so he effectively caused the problem, and should be the one to fix it. Instead, he strangles the dog, and Marge forces Bart and Lisa to give away the puppies. So Homer’s completely off the hook again! God bless that man!
– I like how Krusty’s lax Judiasm is summed up early on, scoffing at Sandy Koufax (“I lost ten grand when he wouldn’t pitch on Yom Kippur. I did five shows that night!”)
– Because Arnold Schwarzenegger, who was running for governor at the time, was also being accused of being an anti-Semite, that means Rainier Wolfcastle is one too!
– Know-it-all Lisa is an expert on the Jewish faith and the wordings of the Torah. Why? Some bullshit explanation about having a Jewish imaginary friend. Solid writing, guys.
– The Itchy and Scratchy is pretty boring, but I did chuckle at “Mouse-el tov!”
– I don’t even want to talk about the Homer plot anymore, because I just can’t make heads or tails of it. If anyone would like to ponder about it themselves, be my guest. All I know is not only do we get no explanation why Homer isn’t at work, Lisa and Bart apparently skip school to work as production assistants and engineers.
– Rabbi Krustofski dictates the rules of Judaism to Krusty, basically what everyone knows about them not mixing meat and milk and not eating pork. He also includes that all Jews must eat Chinese food on Christmas Day. What a hilarious stereotype! It really is like the England episode, the cheapest and easiest Jew jokes they could come up with in an afternoon.
– Mr. T is pretty enjoyable in the show as Krusty’s beleaguered special guest. Stuck on the spinning wheel of David, he laments, “I wish I had invested my money better…”

(originally aired November 30, 2003)
Homer fights a bear… okay. Here’s an episode that’s just a complete wash: it started, I watched it, it ended. Nothing memorable, nothing interesting, nothing uniquely offensive. We start on Mother’s Day as Homer and the kids do some last minute shopping for a gift that Homer takes full credit for. They run into Patty and Selma, who suggest they get her a Kitchen Carnival, a machine that makes carnival confections at home. Marge loves the gift, for some reason. Isn’t she normally the conscientious mother who ran a crusade against sugar? Now she’s happy as a clam letting her infant daughter eat caramel apples and cotton candy until she gets baby diabetes. In a maddening fit, Homer uses all the ingredients to make a gigantic sugar ball, which he spoons with like a new wife. It’s rather disturbing, and makes me pine for the days of him and his giant sandwich from “Selma’s Choice.”

Marge finally forces Homer to take the ball to the dump, at which point he is attacked by a bear. For some reason, this makes him the laughing stock of the town, with people calling him a cowardly wimp. I’m not entirely sure why this is. If I’m cornered and there’s a gigantic bear swiping its claws at my flesh, I’m going to be pretty terrified. But Homer has to restore his manliness, I guess, so he creates a rusty protective suit and vows to go off into the woods to fight the bear, and at this point I’m shaking my head since it’s clear that this really is the plot of this episode. Marge forbids her husband to go, but he goes anyway with Lenny, Carl and Bart, where he is ambushed by the bear again out of the suit. Marge enlists the help of the most rugged hunter alive Grant Connor (Charles Napier, doing the best he can with the material), and Homer discovers the bear is only irritable due to a tracking tag Connor placed on him.

So Homer and the bear are friends now and he now wants to help the animal to the wildlife sanctuary off in the woods. The sanctuary is pristine, rainbow covered sacred land, but they have to get past an entire line of hunters hiding in bushes to get there. Homer stuffs the bear into his protective suit, a really shoddy disguise that Marge initially falls for (“It’s Homer! Don’t shoot!”) The hunters then realize it’s the bear and start shooting at it. As tense music plays, the bear runs down a straight line, with every bullet hitting the armor, despite the fact there are plenty of exposed areas on it, until he gets to the sanctuary. Victory! This is one of the saddest endings of any episode in just how pathetic it is. I don’t give a shit about this bear, or anyone involved in this story, and this resolution is so fabricated and phony, with the sanctuary in the center of the map surrounded by “kill zones.” Characters spew lines out of obligation, lots of time-killing sequences, and everything just barely crawling to a total of nineteen minutes. But there’s nothing even to get upset about here. It’s just another episode that feels so inept and pointless that I can’t even get mad. It really is just pathetic.

Tidbits and Quotes
– The dichotomy here between the new and the old really is striking. The first act is Homer getting Marge a present that she really wouldn’t want or need, like the opening of “Life in the Fast Lane.” In that episode, she’s understandably upset by the thoughtless gift. Here, she thanks Homer for his graciousness and off she goes like a Stepford wife.
– We get our first appearance of SPRAWL-MART. Hey, is that anything like WAL-MART? It sure looks like it, and hey, Grampa works there as a greeter! Just like how WAL-MART was hiring old people to do that! Get it? Aren’t we so goddamn clever?
– Bart, a ten-year-old, knows who Jaclyn Smith is. Another example of how the writers don’t know how the hell to write for Bart anymore. I looked up the joke about her selling axe heads because I didn’t get it. Apparently she pioneered the concept of celebrities developing their own products instead of just endorsing them in the 80s. Oh, now I get it. Ha ha ha.
– “Marge, you’re gonna love my present. It is so thoughtful, it makes the kids’s gifts look like crap!” Nice to say, Homer, considering the kids tried to help you get a gift, and basically Lisa is the one who got Patty and Selma to recommend the gift. You did no work, and hog all the credit. Our loveable protagonist, folks!
– “That’s it, kids… Suckle Daddy’s sugar ball.” Maybe the most disturbing thing ever said or shown on the show ever.
– Homer is smacked down into a ditch at the dump and sees a giant bear ready to fucking maul him (“Oh my God, I’m gonna be killed by a bear! Well I guess I don’t have to worry anymore about the dangers of smoking.”) He then takes out a pipe and calmly smokes it. How does one come up with this joke? Not only does it evaporate any tension the scene had, it’s completely out of left field for Homer to have the pipe at all. It’s just another example of the show’s need to cram in gags everywhere, regardless if they’re funny or make sense whatsoever.
– I kind of like Smithers and Burns pranking Homer with the giant bear from his office. I’m not big on Burns laughing amongst his lowlife employees, but it was a nice use of resources since we’ve seen that bear throughout the entire series (“What a delightful practically-based joke!”)
– Homer’s bear hallucination is alright (“Are you a Care Bear?” “I’m an Intensive Care Bear.”)
– Grant Connor and his penchant for killing and eating every animal on the planet is so over the top I actually kind of like him. Also Charles Napier gives a good performance as always (“The bold grizzly is seven feet tall, weighs more than a Mazda Miata, and can tear through a tree like a Jewish mother through self-esteem.”)
– Homer electrocutes himself with the bear tag twice, because seeing him scream his head off and run around like a maniac is always funny.
– Homer unintentionally kills a lake of fish and a scuba diver, volunteers to castrate the bear, Marge instantly forgives her husband despite the fact that he almost got himself killed for an idiotic reason… whatever. I’ll say the best thing in the whole episode is when Marge and Connor are talking, you can see Lenny, Carl, Bart and Lisa chicken fighting in the background. It’s a really cute moment that I’m sure some bored animator thought up as he was contemplating getting a job on a better show.

(originally November 23, 2003)
I’ve touched on the devolution of travel episodes in the past, but just to quickly recap, what once were actual stories that prompted the family to go travel overseas to engage in some smart social commentary are now replaced with episodes that just want to get from tired set piece to tired set piece utilizing the most bargain basement stereotypes imaginable. A premise, or God forbid a heart, is lingering there somewhere, but both are pretty much abandoned the moment the family lands in Europe. But before that, our stupid ass first act, where Bart comes across a thousand dollar bill. What does he do with it? Start a museum in his treehouse, the Museum of Modern Bart. The scene with Hibbert talking to Marge about joining the “Friends of Bart” program at the “gift shop” with MoMB shirts on the wall particularly struck me that this show has departed from any semblance of reality. Of course that line has already been crossed many a time and shit upon, and it’s something I really shouldn’t get upset over anymore, but when the show feels it can just do anything regardless of whether it makes any sense, it just becomes groan-inducing, even when it comes to a dumb joke like that. The actual owner of the bill, Mr. Burns, reclaims his lost currency, but Bart has made a good three thousand bucks from the museum, and decides to spend it on Marge for a nice family vacation.

Why Great Britain? Grampa recalls having spent a wonderful night with an English girl before getting shipped off during World War II, so the Simpsons propose they go find her. They get to England, check in their hotel room, then Grampa is left behind. We don’t see him again until the very end of the episode, at which point we pathetically close off this “plot line.” The moment Homer shuts that door, the episode is without a purpose, just jumping from dumb bit after dumb bit. New Britain is high tech and advanced, like James Bond! Fish and chips, effeminate rich fops, double decker buses… None of this is particularly funny or original, and it all acts as killing time before we can get to the stupidness of act three. Plus, pile on the guest stars! Tony Blair, J.K. Rowling, Ian McKellan… all of their scenes start exactly the same way: Lisa introduces them and says what they do, then some mild ribbing and off they go. Even the motherfucking Joe Millionaire guy gets a single line. I’d look up his name, but I really don’t give a shit.

Homer drives through the gates of Buckingham Palace and rear-ends the Queen, getting him thrown in jail and facing a death sentence. It sounds serious, but the episode treats everything so callously and clumsily that it doesn’t even matter. The episode retains the same lame jokey tone from start to finish. Homer is being kept in the Tower of London for some fucking reason, then the rest of the family appears below his room at night, seemingly past all the guards, instructing him there’s a secret passage that will help him escape… right into the Queen’s bedroom. Homer bullshits his way out of trouble with the Queen and they all go home. But first we see that Grampa had an illegitimate child with his old flame and skedaddles. Whatever. The saddest parts of the episode revolve on the supposed “emotional” center, where Marge wishes for just one good family vacation, and Homer screws it up. “Itchy & Scratchy Land” this ain’t. Homer commits a heinous crime and is a loudmouth jackass in court, and Marge claims it’s partly her fault (“I’ve been nagging you so much on this trip, you couldn’t know which nags to focus on.”) Homer is an invincible asshole, always coming out on top with everyone loving him despite doing awful, awful, awful things. America embraces him, and now England does too. I’m so, so sorry, you guys.

Tidbits and Quotes
– Burns is a disoriented, weak, pathetic old man, and Smithers is a homosexual. Those are their characters now. I really need to stop complaining, since nothing’s going to change from this point, but any time I see either of them on screen, I’m just really bummed out.
– The first act is basically terrible. Why the fuck are people visiting Bart’s “museum”? Especially when it comes to folks like Krusty and Dr. Hibbert who I’m sure are very financially well-off. Between that and the aforementioned stupidity of the museum merchandise… it just sucks. We end the act with Homer standing at his gun cabinet that he apparently has now deciding which to bring with him overseas. Because Homer is apparently a violent insane madman, I guess.
– I smirked at this bit with Grampa on the phone (“Did you spend an unforgettable night with a soldier from the US Army in 1944? You did? Was he from the first infantry division? He was? And was he a gentle, caring lover? He was? Sorry I bothered you…”)
– Marge mentions that she nagged Homer a lot during the trip. We get that in one scene, where she “nags” him about punching out three people on the street. Really, when did the writers decide it okay that Homer is impulsively violent like this? There’s nothing that excuses this kind of behavior.
– The sweets freakout is a horse of a different color, but it just pales in comparison to the brilliant Squishee bender from “Boy Scoutz N the Hood.”
– The end of act two really doesn’t make any sense. They get caught in a roundabout, then Homer veers off across three lanes of traffic. Cut to Marge and the kids screaming. Homer smashes through the palace gates. Cut to Marge and the kids screaming again, the exact same animation. What, was Homer unable to hit the brakes during that long sequence? It just felt very clumsily put together.
– The only emotion I buy in this episode is Marge’s exasperation at her husband’s assholery (“Why did you let him be his own barrister?” “What difference could it make? He hit the frigging Queen!”) Of course in the next scene we see her apologize to Homer for some reason and everything’s right as rain, so it doesn’t matter.
– The Queen, who at the trial demanded Homer be locked up forever and ever, is swayed by Homer’s speech, which consists of calling Canada gay as swelling music plays in the background. She accepts in exchange for Homer returning Madonna to America, which he does so in a giant duffel bag. Then Grampa’s old lover shows up with a daughter that looks and acts just like Homer. The joke could not possibly be more obvious, but then we get this exchange (“This is my daughter, Abby. She’s fifty-eight years this month.” “Fifty-eight? Well, fifty-nine years ago, your mother and I were ha… oh.”) This episode fucking sucks.

(originally aired November 16, 2003)
This show has had its fair share of memorable tunes, but only one episode I could definitely call a musical, “Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala-D’oh!-cious.” That feels like the most obvious comparison to this episode, as they’re both parodies of specific musicals, with their stories and general melodies lifted and modified. The great difference here is contextual adaption. This episode tries to tackle Evita, with Lisa subbing for Eva Peron and their rises and falls from positions of power. Now, I have not seen Evita, but I know the broad strokes of the story, that she was a spiritual leader in Argentina, beloved by the people, but scorned by those in government for coming from the lower classes. Lisa, meanwhile, is a social outcast with little to no friends, so what people are going to adore her? She wins the election for student body president via musical number, then in the next scene, Skinner worries about how all the students will follow her every word. What? No one has ever given two shits about Lisa in that school, now all of a sudden she’s their savior. It just doesn’t gel well.

Anyway, Skinner is pissed because he’s got an evil scheme brewed up that he feels Lisa will interfere with, so the entire faculty commiserates to distract Lisa with exclusive privileges like all-access to the study hall in lieu of pushing any policies. Ultimately, she ends up signing and approving the removal of gym, music and art classes from the school without even realizing it, and when news of this gets out, she’s cut down a peg by her people. The entire faculty, the little of it we have at this school, from Lunchlady Doris to Otto, all help transform Lisa and assist Skinner. But why do these characters care? We’ve seen the entire faculty is as eager for the bell to ring as the students, they don’t want to be there at all. Without those extracurriculars, maybe it means they can get bigger paychecks? It’s just so sporadic. Krabappel is thrilled to get Nelson’s answer key to the real estate license exam (“My ticket to freedom!”) then later she’s helping Skinner with his plot. Also, there was no need for Lisa to sign the agreement, it was all just to discredit her in the eyes of the student body. But what a backhanded and horrible thing for Skinner and the others to do, to vilify their top student, an innocent little eight-year-old, who barely has any friends to begin with? It really casts a dark shadow over Skinner, a character who has never been completely unfavorable before.

Outraged at her betrayal, Lisa calls for a student strike, one that escalates until the move is made by Chalmers to transfer her to another school, forcing her to leave her people behind. She’s supposedly devastated, but walks off the bus with a smile at Springfield Magnet School, an intellectual institution where she would thrive. But then Homer drives up and says she can’t go, as he doesn’t feel like taking the forty-five minute trip to get there. It’s as abrupt as an ending as you can fucking get, and the Evita parody just screeches to a halt. Protesting her father’s hasty arrival, Lisa cries out, “But this is my dream!” So Lisa never cared about her fellow students, she just wanted to go to a better school. That’s why this episode doesn’t work, because the parody doesn’t fit. “D’oh-cious” involved a Mary Poppins type coming in to make the Simpsons model citizens, and failing. There’s no bit of Homer being Dick Van Dyke and learning to be a better father, since that doesn’t fit the story being told. In the end, they acknowledge status quo is God, and they’re happy just as things are. In this episode, they crammed in the Evita stuff even though it didn’t fit the characters. Lisa is never popular and Skinner is not a pure-blood antagonist. It just doesn’t work.

Tidbits and Quotes
– It’s casino night at Springfield Elementary, which means another gag about Marge’s gambling addiction. I hate when they do this. In “$pringfield,” the fact that Marge becomes an addict is not presented as funny, it’s everything around it that is. It was treated with a real severity, an uncomfortable issue with an open-ended non-solution. Now it’s just treated as a goof, where Marge going crazy on betting and splashing a drink in Ralph’s face is presented as comedy, instead of just being horrifying.
– Homer’s repeated “D’oh”s as the wheel spins is rather annoying. In fact, this whole episode he’s basically a humungous moron, prancing around the house with a tutu, making the faces on two sets of stamps “make out,” musing about never having married a businessman… the Scully seasons had Jerkass Homer, now we have Braindead Homer.
– I could be wrong, but I think this is the first time we’ve seen Lunchlady Doris since her last appearance after Doris Grau’s death. Thankfully, they kept her silent, until a few seasons later she’d randomly appear with Tress MacNeille attempting to mimic Grau’s voice. Aside the fact that it’s kind of disrespectful to break her silence, I just think of how completely unnecessary it was. How difficult is it to design a new cafeteria worker? It’s not like she’s a major character, make a new disgruntled employee and be done with it. Instead they stepped all over poor, poor Doris. But that’s not this episode.
– I like the Lisa vs. Nelson conceit, that it’s all just a big popularity contest, because that’s exactly how school elections are. And to some extent, general elections. Zing!
– Superintendent Chalmers appears to reside at the school now. He’s always there, glued to Skinner’s side. Doesn’t he have other schools to attend to? Also they’re really abusing the “Skinner!!” gag at this point.
– Skinner tricks Lisa into signing the orders, but then she quickly returns, wanting to read what she signed. Skinner shuts the door on her. Lisa returns again to complain, then Skinner shuts and locks the door. Lisa opens the door with the skeleton key he gave her and he groans. Scene over. So, wouldn’t Lisa have gotten to read the form and be outraged at that point? At least end your scene properly, guys.
– Why in the holy mother of fuck does Bart care about gym, music and art being cut from the school? And how does he know that Skinner is using Lisa? He’s been absent almost this entire episode, then he just kind of shows up and gets a few lines in some songs.
– Willie ripping the art room off the school building is as bad as Homer stealing Flanders’s guest room, but at least he’s hauling it off on a tracker here. With the kiln still running.
– The kids inexplicably have signs made at the protest that just started, Homer and Marge randomly appear at the school, the police show up on the drop of a dime ready to beat children, Michael Moore appears for a worthless cameo… the only thing in the third act I like is the title of Kent Brockman’s news segment, “Alphabet Coup.” But the rest sucks. But at least it matches the rest of the episode.