(originally aired November 23, 1998)
Similar to “Lard of the Dance,” this is a smaller Lisa story. These kinds of shows feel so alien amongst the bombastic and wacky hijinks that seem to be running rampant lately. And while I have less problems with this one than I did with “Lard,” there’s still something about it that keeps me from full emotional investment, as the episode seems to go too far with its quieter premise with an over-dramatic conclusion. The first half of the story seems to work, starting with Lisa being forced to stay home sick by her mother. With nothing to do, she ends up getting addicted to playing video games, leading her to purposely extending her leave of absence and ignoring her take-home assignment of reading The Wind and the Willows. It’s another great instance of showing how Lisa is still just a kid, and how even the most brainy, level-headed kids can get sucked into the tantalizing allure of platforming games. Though I’ll say it’s a tad unrelatable, because when I was in school, I never blew off schoolwork in exchange for playing Paper Mario for weekends on end. Nope. Never.

Lisa returns to school to face a test for the book she didn’t read, and she’s in deep, deep trouble. Her calling for a miracle leads her to Nelson, who holds hundreds of answer keys in his possession. It’s an interesting moral dilemma for her; upon receiving continuous accolades for her ill-gotten A+++, she goes from embarrassed modesty to a more seething displeasure. It isn’t long before Lisa has to confess, which she eventually does when Skinner informs her that her high mark raised the school’s GPA to the state’s minimum standard, making them eligible for a basic assistance grant. Now, here’s where the episode starts to lose it for me. Aside from it being absolutely ridiculous that one student’s grade on an inconsequential test was enough to boost the school average, Lisa’s reveal at the end of act two changes the emotional dynamic. It’s not really Lisa vs. herself, it’s Lisa vs. Skinner and Chalmers, who want to keep her hush hush for the good of the school. They present a bleeding heart case to her about improving school conditions, but I’m sure Lisa’s fully aware of their intentions to squander it, especially considering the exorbitant electronic scoreboard taking up all the space in Skinner’s office.

Lisa coming clean feels less of a personal vindication, but would it have been better to keep her secret to the very ending? Then we would have two whole acts of stuff building up to make her feel worse and worse, it’d be “Miracle on Evergreen Terrace” all over again. But I think there could have been a direction to go with this that could have added a new element to the plot and had Lisa’s remorse run in the background. While its title is riffing on “Bart Gets An ‘F,'” the plot holds more resemblance to “Bart the Genius,” with a Simpson kid cheating on a test and having to admit it at episode’s end. Maybe Lisa could have been moved up a grade, appreciated the new challenge and her new surroundings, but deep down know she was there under fraudulent circumstances. But the meat of the story is still pretty solid, albeit a little low impact. There’s also the B-story of Homer’s beloved pet lobster Pinchy, which is pretty aimless and stupid, but that’s exactly what you’d expect and want from that kind of premise. And who doesn’t love Pinchy? He blows Spider-Pig out of the water for title of Best One-Off Simpson Pet.

Tidbits and Quotes
– The free-sample supermarket set piece at the beginning is pretty empty. I smiled at some of the Ben & Jerry-esque ice cream flavor names though (“Candy Warhol? Xavier Nugat?” “Nah, nothing made of dead guys.”)
– They’re both stupid gags, but I like Homer evening out the levels of salt in the fish tank to accommodate Pinchy and the fish, and the callback to the supermarket in revealing he has a packet of cold tablets on a toothpick.
– I love the scene where Lisa first plays “Dash Dingo” and her complete derision and lack of interest in the whole affair. Cut to not long afterward and she’s a girl obsessed. That’s how it works…
– Great nightmare illustrating Lisa’s paranoia that her one bad test score would deny her admission to Harvard (“Nasty business, that zero. Naturally, Harvard’s doors are now closed to you, but I’ll pass your file along to… Brown.”) What a silly dream. Almost as silly as one high test score affording a school a grant. …oh wait.
– My favorite part of the episode is Nelson’s makeshift bathroom office: his employee-of-the-month frame, keeping his files in the empty toilet tank, and insisting the purity of his business (“These are study aids. They’re for novelty purposes only. If a few bad apples use them for cheating, I can’t be held responsible.”) Also great is when he comes back in act two to further remind Lisa of her misdeeds (“Tomorrow’s fractions quiz. I’ll give you the numerators free, but the denominators are gonna cost ya’.”)
– Great bit on the bus illustrating the two mindsets of the Simpson children (“Cheer up, Lis. You got a good grade without even reading the book. That’s win-win!” “Can’t you see the difference between earning something honestly and getting it by fraud?” “Hmm, I suppose, maybe if… no. No, sorry, I thought I had it there for a second.”)
– As dumb as the entire third act dilemma is, I do love that all the ruckus is about a basic assistance grant. Fighting for the right to be proclaimed merely average.
– Great stuff showing the poor condition of the school, from the Oscar Meyer periodic table (“Who can tell me the atomic weight of bolognium?” “Delicious?” “Correct. I would also accept snacktacular.”) and the school’s only computer, a rusty old Coleco. And of course, we have the classic moment of Ralph saying “Super Nintendo Chalmers,” and “I’m learn-ding!”
– Part of me feels I shouldn’t like the Pinchy plot for the very reason I do like it, because it really is so dumb. But I really like Homer’s unusual affection toward the crustacean. The best scene is him dragging him along the beach and Pinchy getting schooled by a tiny hermit crab. Homer is incensed (“You don’t have to take that from no punk-ass crab!”) Then of course is the big finale when the lobster is accidentally boiled alive, and Homer must eat him in absolute misery (“Pinchy would have wanted it that way!”)
– The very end with the reveal of the phony ceremony before the real one is pretty stupid. The fake Comptroller is voiced by Harry Shearer, who also plays Otto, but am I supposed to believe Otto is a talented mimic? Plus such a realistic mask must have cost the poor, poor school a pretty penny, shouldn’t it have? But their ruse is pulled off and the real Comptroller hands Skinner his giant check (“I know a liquor store where we can cash this right now!”)

(originally aired November 15, 1998)
At this point, it seems I’m going to have to settle in with this new personality of Homer’s if I’m going to even remotely enjoy any of these episodes. Brash, misguided and strangely self-righteous, this new Homer has a more get-up-and-go attitude, diving head first into crazy new adventures. Not to say that he didn’t have his fair share of wild endeavors in the past, but the way it’s handled has changed. That being said, if the context is right, alternative characterization can actually make sense, and this episode is almost proof of that. It starts with Homer realizing he doesn’t know his own middle name, sparking a trip with his father to the old hippie commune his mother ran off to to dig up some answers. Inspired by this connection to his past and the laid back lifestyle of his mother’s old friends Seth and Munchie, Homer decides to become a hippie himself. Upon discovering his fellow hippies have “sold out” and run an organic juice plant, he encourages them to rekindle their golden years and let their freak flags fly.

Turning to a life of lazing about, not worrying about bathing or wearing proper attire? That lifestyle fits Homer to a T, and in that respect, I can totally buy this plot. But there’s other aspects to his hippiedom that don’t exactly add up or go anywhere. Trying to live up to his mother’s past is kind of a sweet premise that could have had some emotional weight, but it’s pretty much dropped after the first act. But that’s okay, I don’t expect a story like this to be very deep. But Homer seems way too energetic over his new outlook on life, parroting empty statements about peace, love and understanding. It’s like when someone tries to fit in with a certain group and everyone can tell he’s just trying to look cool even though he doesn’t have a clue what he’s saying. Then there’s his relationship with Seth and Munchie, who seem to like and put up with him at the start, but quickly become exasperated by him. They agree to go out with him to relive their pasts and “freak out squares,” but then they return home to find their latest juice shipment destroyed. Is this a comment on how you can’t go back to your past and must focus on your present? No, it was Homer’s stupid frisbee jammed in one of the machines. What a wacky character.

Homer tries to make things right by reproducing the spoiled juice and shipping it out all over town. But unfortunately, he used crops from Seth and Munchie’s “personal supply,” causing the people of Springfield to start tripping balls. Police arrive at the commune, and Homer ends up shot in the face with a flower. So yeah, this episode’s got its fair share of dumb elements, like Homer’s ramped up enthusiasm, but it’s definitely the best I’ve seen so far from season 10. It had a bunch of laughs from beginning to end, and I can see Homer indulging in the hippie lifestyle far more than I can see him in some of the many absurd jobs we’ll see him hold down the road. Also props to Martin Mull and the great George Carlin who do great work here. Oh, and cool psychedelic ending theme done by Yo La Tengo. A flawed, but still mostly enjoyable episode.

Tidbits and Quotes
– The power plant recruitment commercial is pretty much a big dead zone, although I do like this exchange (“There were script problems from day one.” “Didn’t seem like anybody even read the script.” “That was the problem.”) At least it goes by pretty quick and it’s an adequate stepping stone to our main plot.
– Great reveal of Grampa stuck in the foyer having fallen over Bart’s skateboard. Homer just calls for him casually and no one bothers to help him out.
– In this episode, we learn what the “J” in Homer J. Simpson stands for. Pretty clever that it’s just “Jay,” a tribute to Rocky and Bullwinkle‘s Jay Ward, and his similarly named creations Bullwinkle J. Moose and Rocky J. Squirrel.
– It’s a dumb joke, but I love the reading of Homer’s slow, contented “Ouuuuuuucccchhh” when he nonchalantly stick his hand in a bee hive.
– Wonderful flashback to Woodstock with a wonderful portrayal of a younger Abe Simpson, the stuffiest of stuffed shirts played against his much more liberal wife and naked son playing in the mud. Abe is not pleased (“Put some damn pants on, and then pull ’em down! ‘Cause it’s time for a spanking!”) Dan Castellaneta does a great job as always playing his characters younger.
– I don’t know if I care for the implications about Homer’s mother being promiscuous. I mean, I’m sure it happened, but given the sweet matronly image in our minds from “Mother Simpson,” it’s something I’d rather not think about.
– I’ve always loved Munchie’s line about selling their old hippie bus (“In a way, the sixties ended the day we sold it: December 31st, 1969.”)
– Homer, Seth and Munchie show up at school to decree the “conformity factory” closed. The kids all run out cheering. Cut to a displeased Skinner (“Fifteen years of loyal service and this is how they tell me? A jester with an invisible proclamation?”)
– Great bit of news from Kent Brockman (“Stunned league officials say point-shaving may have occurred in as many as three Harlem Globetrotters games.”)
– Highlights of the town-wide freakout consist of Grampa and Jasper reverted to acting like Beavis and Butt-head and Lou spinning around in his chair at the station (“The electric yellow has got me by the brain banana!”)
– Fantastic deadpan reading from George Carlin to the police responding to Homer’s insanity (“You can smash this drug barn all you want, but first you’ll have to smash our heads open like ripe melons!” “This man does not represent us.”)
– The ending is pretty darn silly, but it’s still kind of funny (“He was lucky. If that had been a gladiola, he’d be dead right now.” “Why don’t you just pull it out?” “I’m a doctor, not a gardener!” “Can’t you just prune some of the leaves so I can watch TV?” “What did I just say?”)

(originally aired November 8, 1998)
Let’s talk about the role celebrities play on this show. This is a series that skewers all elements of American society, and the media elite is a humungous prime target. Along with the dozens of pop culture digs they make in every show, whenever a celebrity does a guest voice as themselves, they’re always subject to some level of mockery or derision. James Taylor is surprisingly disgruntled, Dick Cavett is a fame whore leech, Ernest Bourgnine ends up lost in the woods and presumably killed. Sure, the writers respected anyone who would be nice enough to do the show, but the humor was always sharp that even with mocking them, it still felt sincere and appreciative. They felt like they could have it both ways. Now we have this episode, where the celebrities are the stars: Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger are presented in the highest, most holiest of lights, more so than any other guest star. There’s lots of problems with this trash heap, but the first being that the gentlest of kid gloves are used here in handling these two. Be it characters saying it, or the rarefied air throughout the episode, they’re presented as such great people. Bleeeccch.

So through a bonehead mishap, Homer winds smackdab in the bedroom of Baldwin and Basinger’s secluded Springfield estate, where they’re residing to get away from the hustle and bustle of Hollywood. Then somehow Homer winds up their servant/friend/something. He doesn’t appear to be starstruck at all upon meeting them, and becomes incredibly annoying and options to work for them apropos of nothing. He really becomes this big suck-up that they can’t get rid of, which actually could have been a little interesting, except here Baldwin and Basinger really like him for some reason. Aside from Jerkass Homer present through the whole show, this is a fatal flaw here. Homer is most lovable when he’s a down-on-his-luck schlub. Like the common man, it seems the whole world is against him, and we cheer on when he manages to achieve something despite himself. Here, he’s playing badminton with celebrities and having a grand old time. It’s like polar opposite interpretations. Later when the celebrities “fire” him, he’s gotten used to the high life and believes he’s better than his commoner family. He even turns down Marge’s bargain basement sloppy Joes. Homer turning down food of any kind? Ridiculous.

There’s not much I can praise this episode for. I guess the only bright spot is Ron Howard and his inexplicable alcoholism, and how he shamelessly steals Homer’s movie pitch at the very end. Unlike the other two celebs, I guess the writers felt he wasn’t high profile enough so they could rip on him a bit, even enough to have him back next season for no apparent reason. There’s some mocking of society’s obsession with celebrity culture in the mob of Springfieldians flocking to the celebrity home, and later indulging in Homer’s perverted museum of oddities, but it all feels either really obvious or real softball stuff that could have been crammed into any episode. A lot of terrible changes occurred during the Mike Scully years, and it’s not clear who to blame, but one big thing was not only the sharp increase in amount of random celebrity guests, but in having them on and treating them with the utmost reverence. So you’re gonna have Britney Spears, Richard Gere and the Rolling Stones on just so you can kiss their asses and say how cool they are? That’s not The Simpsons. That’s Entertainment fucking Tonight. Fuck this episode.

Tidbits and Quotes
– I feel I should like Homer’s Yogi Bear dream at the beginning, but for some reason, I don’t. I do like his recollection of it when he wakes up (“I was having the most wonderful dream. I had a hat and a tie with no pants on.”)
– Nice moment in cartoon timing when Homer’s parachute gets ripped off in the trees, he floats in the air long enough to moan about it, then he plummets to the ground.
– Why the fuck didn’t Baldwin and Basinger have an assistant before? Or some means to get things if they’re running out of toilet paper and toothpaste? They could have all that shit mailed to them, they obviously have the funds and connections to do so.
– So… the Homer-can’t-read bit. What’s spectacular about this is a minute after that joke, we see Homer drive to the Kwik-E-Mart (in a Humvee for some reason. Presumably Baldwin and Basinger’s) and proceeds to read off a list to Apu. So since he clearly can read, the joke can be two things: either Homer felt he needed to make up a secret on the spot to impress the two celebrities, or Homer is so unbelievably stupid that he forgot he could read. I don’t like playing guessing games when it comes to a simple joke like this. Also the joke wasn’t funny, so fuck it.
– The bit with the Oscar polish and Baldwin whining that too much of it will take the finish off really reminds me of the bit where Krusty tries to come up with everyday problems for the average man (“You mean like when your lazy butler washes your sock garters and they’re still covered with schmutz?”)
– At some point, Homer morphed into this bizarre clingy guy who believes he’s super awesome and everybody’s best friend. He’s so annoying and bizarre in this episode, and many after it. Who thought this was a good character turn?
– Moe tricking Kirk Van Houten to climb the electric fence and get shocked right in front of his son is pretty cruel. I mean, even by Moe’s standards.
– I like during his incensed rant about celebrities, Homer name-drops Ray Bolger (“And when it’s time to do the dishes, where’s Ray Bolger? I’ll tell ya! Ray Bolger is looking out for Ray Bolger!”) Research reveals he was the Scarecrow in The Wizard of Oz. Also he’s been dead for twenty-five years.
– Why are Krusty and Sideshow Mel stooped outside the celebrity house? And when the celebrities leave and chase after Homer’s van, the crowd just stands there and watches. Wouldn’t they immediately flock the vehicle? And the car chase is so unbelievably dumb, the Humvee continues moving even when no one’s at the wheel, powered by magic, I guess.
– Homer’s final statements in court about the nature of celebrity is a pretty alright wrap-up to such a shit show (“If celebrities didn’t want people pawing through their garbage and saying they’re gay, they shouldn’t have tried to express themselves creatively. In closing, you people must realize that the public owns you for life! And when you’re dead, you’ll all be in commercials, dancing with vacuum cleaners.”) Also the restraining order keeping him five hundred feet from any celebrity sure worked out, didn’t it? How long before that got broken? About four more episodes before he’s bodyguard to Mark Hamill. Mmn.

(originally aired October 25, 1998)
The Halloween shows are always really special, truly indicative of how creative and sharp the series can be. One of the greatest bummers for me was when these specials became disappointments year after year after year. If they can’t make these episodes that have absolutely no logical or in-universe restrictions at least somewhat interesting, then there’s a big problem. But this issue is probably best saved for another time, since this year’s Halloween episode isn’t bad, but definitely doesn’t feel all too memorable. The first segment is “Hell Toupee” (a clever play on words, I’ll admit.) Following petty thug Snake’s execution, Homer ends up with his hair surgically implanted on his scalp, a procedure that seems to have some adverse side effects. Now he’s possessed by Snake’s spirit, who seeks to get revenge on the eyewitnesses to his final crime: Apu, Moe, and Bart Simpson. The premise is kind of intriguing, but a lot of it feels a bit dry. You know exactly where the plot’s going, the order of the murders, and the resolution, so there’s no real suspense, you’re just kind of riding out the seven minutes. There are some laughs to be had, but when Marge cuts off her daughter explaining the scenario with, “Oh, please, Lisa, everyone’s already figured that out,” it’s very telling on a number of levels.

“Terror in Toon Town” is memorable for me in one respect: I remember watching it as a kid and having my mom shut it off at about the same time as Marge turned off the Krusty show. She was pretty skeptical about this show, thinking it would warp my young mind, but it wasn’t long before I browbeat her into letting me watch. I was quite the persuasive youngster. Anyway, Bart and Lisa get sucked into an Itchy & Scratchy cartoon. Yeah. Again, it just feels kind of empty on the whole. And call it splitting hairs to nitpick plot holes in a Halloween show, but rather than scour for batteries for the remote, Bart and Lisa are already sitting right up to the TV. Couldn’t they just, y’know, turn the knob? The Itchy & Scratchy antics take up most of the time, which ultimately aren’t that funny. The best bits occur around the main stuff, like the bizarre live action Regis & Kathie Lee cameo. And the twist at the end is okay, I guess.

“Starship Poopers” is easily the standout segment. First off, alien Maggie is a pretty neat design, and seeing her limbs just pop out is genuinely disconcerting. Also the first part is like a build-up to the inevitable appearance of Kang and Kodos. Once you see her green tentacles, you know they’re coming… Marge reveals that Kang is actually Maggie’s father, the result of a bizarre abduction/in-breeding program Marge was part of against her will, told in a spectacular flashback (“Oh, you look lovely this evening. Have you decreased in mass?”) Unable to come to a compromise regarding Maggie’s custody, Bart steps in, assuring only one man can resolve the conflict: Jerry Springer. The show segment is certainly memorable, albeit at this point a little hackneyed, but at the time having Jerry on and doing this spoof was topical, I’m sure. Plus Homer and Kang exchanging blows and bleeped curse words is pretty fantastic. There’s a sort of genius attributed to making bleeps funny, they need to be timed just right. Anyway, I’d say this is definitely the weakest “Treehouse” thus far, but there’s nothing terrible about it. But save the last segment, there’s not a whole lot to highly recommend either.

Tidbits and Quotes
– The bit with Snake using nacho cheese to slick back his hair is pretty gross. Then you have old crusty cheese in your hair. Sick!
– Nice set-up where Moe asks Apu for a cereal for people with syphilis, then later we see him eating the wonderfully named Penicill-O’s.
– Troy McClure was originally supposed to host FOX’s “World’s Deadliest Executions. I believe he even recorded the part too, but the writers wisely considered recasting the part following Hartman’s death. Ed McMahon is a well suited replacement, if only to have him doing his patented “Hi-yohh!” immediately following Snake’s death.
– Great moment with Dr. Nick prepping for Homer’s surgery, holding up a syringe that will make the operation feel like a wonderful dream. He proceeds to punch Homer to knock him out, then injects himself, and drowsily utilizes a pizza cutter to tear at Homer’s scalp.
– Chief Wiggum is as incompetent as ever here, busy sucking on a Squishee and disregarding Apu’s mangled corpse shoved inside the machine (“Jeez, Lou, how long were you going to let me keep drinking this thing?”) and later in his attempted arrest of Homer (“You’re under arrest for the murders of Moe Syzslak and Apu Nahassa… passa… well, just Moe, just Moe.”)
– I like the animation of the sentient hair piece shaking its “fist,” and just how many bullets it takes for it to stay down.
– The reveal of Homer’s tattered hobo clothes to not be a costume is an easy joke, but I do like his harmonica-assisted lament of Bart and Lisa’s plight (“Mama took those batteries / she took ’em away / Mama took those batteries / Size double-A!”), swiftly cut off by Bart slamming the kitchen door, a door we’ve never seen before or since.
– Its random and pointless, but I still like the reappearance of Poochie, if only to have him mowed down mercilessly.
– I guess Regis and Kathie Lee are the only guest stars to appear in live action. Can anyone prove me wrong? They make a pretty sweet cameo, with Kathie Lee as bitchy as ever (“That’s it! I’m going home! Dom DeLouise can interview himself!”)
– Homer and Marge take alien Maggie to Dr. Hibbert, who offers up his educated prescription (“Fire, and lots of it!” “Oh, that’s your cure for everything.”)
– I love the censor subversion of Kang’s exclamation “Holy flerking schnit!” If you’re not really paying attention, it basically sounds like the genuine article.
– Two great moments of male insecurity: upon finding Marge has “made it” with an alien monster, Homer sobs uncontrollably, only to quickly snap back and ask, “Was he better than me?” Then in the flashback we see the “mating” consisted of Kang shooting a ray gun at Marge’s head for a split second. She comments how fast it was, to which Kang defensively responds, “What are you implying?”
– Kang and Kodos pull out all the stops for their breeding program (“To put you at ease, we have recreated the most common spawning locations of your species. You may choose either the back seat of a Camaro, an airplane bathroom, a friend’s wedding, or the alley behind a porno theater.”) Marge remains indignant (“I absolutely refuse to go along with this… but since I have no choice, I’ll take the alley.”)
– There’s a fair share of great lines on the Springer show: Homer’s response to Jerry asking how he felt about the situation (“It made me angry, Jerry. Angry and tired,”) Kang’s “I hear all!!“, and the final bit of Maggie killing Jerry, with Kang and Homer exchanging blows, to which Marge laments, “I’m so [bleep]ing embarrassed…”
– A rather dated ADR line when Kang and Kodos leave to wipe out all of Earth’s politicians, Bart comments, “Don’t forget Ken Starr!” Yeah, because Bart totally knows who that is.

(originally aired September 27, 1998)
While the season premiere was aggressively awful, this episode is of a different color, namely in that it’s incredibly dry from start to finish. Despite a third act twist that seems like it should be a lot more biting, the tone throughout this show remains constant, and it’s something I can’t quite place. Marge forbids Bart from hanging out with troublemaker Nelson, but he ignores her plea so he can try out the hoodlum’s new BB gun. Bart ends up accidentally killing an innocent bird, which Marge finds out about, causing her to effectively give up on her son, having been disappointed one too many times. This episode has shades of “Marge Be Not Proud” since it’s about Bart trying to do right by his mother, except this one feels so much more heavy-handed. Nelson taunting Bart to shoot the bird feels like it belongs in an after-school special about peer pressure, and his remorse afterwards basically engulfs the entire episode. The first act ends with an extended slow zoom on Bart dropping the gun and looking regretful. The rest of the show never shakes this bummer feeling.

Bart finds two lone eggs in the newly empty nest and takes it upon himself to care for the orphaned birds until they hatch. Sounds scintillating, doesn’t it? I wouldn’t say it’s wildly out of character for Bart to want to make good like this, but it’s not something I’m that interested in watching, and there’s not much in terms of jokes you can milk from it. Act two is kind of one big dead zone. Around that you have Marge’s dissatisfaction with her son, which I felt worked a lot better in “Proud.” Her disillusionment of Bart stealing was a whole lot more interesting than her over-dramatic throwing up of her hands (“You wanna play with little hoodlums? Fine. Have fun killing things.”) As if the episode wasn’t overbearing enough. The mother-son disconnect in “Proud” felt very genuine and purposeful, but here, it comes off as very sour, and gives the entire episode this feeling of unease and displeasure. Not that I want every episode to be a laugh riot, but I don’t want to feel down either.

The clever twist is that the two eggs hatch to reveal Bolivian tree lizards, a species who eat bird’s eggs and lay their own in their place, so their newly hatched young can feast upon the mother bird. Bart comes to find that the lizards are federally banned for this reason, and the local birdwatching society seeks to put an end to them. It’s kind of interesting, but given that you need to have a scene or two to explain what the lizards are and their backstory, it’s not as easy to digest to make it a fantastic twist. This revelation gives us more sad, crying Bart, who’s come to care for these lizards, and Marge assists him to get away from the birdwatching mob. In the end, the lizards are set free, but end up being an unseen blessing in that they dramatically reduce the pigeon population in Springfield, although now they’re overrun with lizards instead. When this episode wasn’t making me uncomfortable, it was boring more than anything, with only a few select laughs to cut through the doldrums. Ultimately, it’s just downright forgettable.

Tidbits and Quotes
– I like the bit at the very beginning with Homer’s mail call (“One stinkin’ letter? Why’d you make us gather ’round like that?” “I needed my power fix.”)
– The Family Fun Center set piece isn’t fantastic, but it’s got a few good things: Marge’s slow and steady speed on the go-karts, Nelson knocking Milhouse’s kart off the track, which of course bursts into flames, and Bart’s pathetic choice of prizes with his paltry amount of tickets. But then we also have Homer at the batting cage, which is just him wailing and getting hurt repeatedly, though I do Bart and Lisa’s commentary as balls continue to pelt their father’s motionless body (“Hang in there, Dad, just half a basket left!” “Wow, you sure get a lot of balls for a quarter.”)
– I kinda like how Bart purposely aims to miss the bird but hits it anyway, with Nelson commenting how Bart’s such a pro for compensating for the crooked sight.
– In his last appearance, Troy McClure stars in “Birds: Our Fine Feathered Colleagues,” a video which is pretty much the only bright spot here. Hartman is golden as always (“Precious eggs. If they’re to survive, they require the gentle warmth and tender love that only a mother can provide. Or better yet, a seventy-five watt bulb.”) Maybe not the best episode to go out on, but with the video ending with his callous response to little Jimmy and giving a big ol’ shit-eating grin to the camera, that’s just how I want to remember him. Farewell, Mr. McClure.
– Call me hypocritical for besmirching the batting cage bit, but I like Homer repeatedly falling down the stairs. First it works as a quick joke where Bart talks about finding a light bulb “lying around,” then we see Homer flick on the absent basement light and take a tumble. Then we see it again randomly in a montage, then much later after the whole lizard reveal and you’ve forgotten about it, Homer says he’s going to eat the remaining pies in the basement, and we get hit once more with it. That’s the way you make Homer getting gratuitously hurt be funny.
– The birdwatching society is filled with recognizable faces, some of which make sense, some don’t. Skinner is perfect as the leader, some like Jasper, Apu and even Moe make a little sense, but Edna? Mr. Burns? Kind of like bringing back Alison in “Lard of the Dance,” this is more of a growing trend of inserting as many recognizable characters into scenes as possible, without much regard whether it makes sense for them to be there.
– I like Skinner listing off the tree lizard’s target birds (“It’s already wiped out the Dodo, the Cuckoo, and the Ne-Ne, and it has nasty plans for the Booby, the Titmouse, the Woodcock, and the Titpecker.”) I don’t care for how bloodthirsty he seems to be, though: putting the lizards in the paper cutter works as a quick gag, but then he proceeds to hold up a power drill and talks about preparing for splatter… that doesn’t seem like Skinner. Also, this exchange (“Wow, did you know they had those webbed flaps for gliding?” “Yes, but I was hoping they didn’t know that.”) Why is Skinner a moron all of a sudden?
– Nice paltry gift Quimby bestows upon Bart for unleashing the lizards: a scented candle (“Mmmm… loganberry.”)