(originally aired May 19, 1996)
Serving as the “official” finale for the season, I’m sure this episode was highly advertised for its high-caliber guest stars, including Cypress Hill, Peter Frampton and the Smashing Pumpkins. Gimmicky? Back in these days, major guest appearances mostly served as set dressing for a larger story, in this case, Homer’s attempts to relive his carefree youth amongst a new generation. Previous episodes have shed some light on Homer’s arrested development, on how knocking up Marge forced him to make the leap from boy to man much quicker than he’d hoped. As such, he still considers himself a fun-loving party animal, even if he doesn’t party anymore, and also his idea of partying consisted of singing Bee Gees with Barney at his father’s house. He’s shocked to discover not only does he have no idea or interest in new alternative rock, but his kids think that he’s lame. To counter this, he gets them tickets to the hip music concert Hullabalooza.

For Homer, Hullabalooza is a strange new world, full of heavily disaffected teens who don’t want some old man cramping their nonconformist style. But fortunately for him, he finds a different avenue to make the scene, thanks to his seemingly iron clad stomach. A malfunctioning cannon shoots a compacted inflatable into his gut, and the crowd is shocked to find it didn’t affect him at all. With that, Homer is welcomed into the freak show, traveling town after town getting a cannonball right in the stomach. It’s an interesting way to get Homer to fit in, not really giving him a specific talent but highlighting his very high tolerance for pain, which we’ve seen plenty before, and we’ll see plenty onward. It isn’t long before all the stunts start taking his toll. Tests show that his stomach is near demolished, and one more cannonball could kill him. Of course his next stunt is on home turf in Springfield, and seeing his family in the crowd, he dodges the shot at the last second, knowing that they’re too important to him to take the risk.

Digs at the then-current music scene act as lovely set dressing, between the highly commercialized music festival to the hilarious animation of the diehard fans slowly swaying to the beat, looking absolutely uninterested, because that’s how the cool kids act. When he has the will, Homer is a man full of energy, but these are just not his people. The scene where he dares to address one of them and the crowd turns on him in rapid succession is so well timed, with accusations piling on and the tension building up until they throw him out. The guest stars all have their moments, some better than others. Particularly great is Peter Frampton, who always seems to be irate about something, and Cypress Hill, who have a great scene whispering to each other wondering if they ordered a classical orchestra whilst under the influence. There’s also some neat direction in showing Homer’s stunts, coming up with different ways to show Homer getting shot at over and over again. In the end, no lesson has really been learned on what it means to be cool, as when you’re an adult, there’s just no pleasing the younger generation. That’s just the way it is.

Tidbits and Quotes
– A fantastic opening sequence where a daydreaming Otto drives the bus into the junkyard, right into a car crusher. He and the kids must quickly get out the back before the bus is completely demolished and spit out in a greatly condensed version of itself. Smash cut to Marge reading a letter at home (“Dear parents. Due to yesterday’s unscheduled field trip to the auto wrecking yard, the school bus will be out of commission for two weeks. By reading this letter out loud, you have waived any legal responsability on our part in perpetuity throughout the universe.”)
– I love Grand Funk Railroad, so I’m on Homer’s side with this one. I love his rock music history lessons (“Grand Funk Railroad paved the way for Jefferson Airplane, which cleared the way for Jefferson Starship. The stage was now set for the Alan Parsons project, which I believe was some sort of hovercraft.”)
– The music store is one of the best store names of the show’s history: Suicide Notes (formerly Good Vibrations). Not only are they great puns, but they exemplify the difference in tone in generations of music, clearly and succinctly. So brilliant.
– The music store clerk is befuddled at Homer’s mention of Apple computers, which at the time was not really a widely recognized name… yet.
– Great flashback of Homer looking on at some cool kids in their tricked out van, dubbed the second-base mobile. Why not third, why shoot so low? The following sequence is so fantastic with the strobe effect of Homer getting closer and closer to the van, in the same standing position, and then clearly realizing he’s not wanted, and cut to him back far away again.
– The best line of the show goes to Grampa, responding to teenage Homer’s claims that he’s not “with it” (“I used to be with it, but then they changed what ‘it’ was. Now, what I’m with isn’t ‘it’, and what’s ‘it’ seems weird and scary to me.”)
– Nice quick and telling line from Marge when Homer complains about how weird the record store seemed to him (“Record stores have always seemed crazy to me, but it doesn’t upset me. Music is none of my business.”)
– I don’t know how good it is for business to hold a big music festival on a weekday, but I suppose its clientele appear to be teenagers skipping school, dropouts and the unemployed. And we tie up the driving to school story with a great fake-out, deliciously milked by Homer (“I must be getting forgetful in my old age. Open the glove compartment and fetch me my brain medicine.”)
– Nice homage to R. Crumb as Homer struts his stuff, trying to connect with the young peoples.
– I like how we gloss over the big plot point of Homer leaving his family for an extended period to go on tour in a freak show with one scene: Marge is dissatisfied, telling Homer he doesn’t have to do something just because the opportunity presented itself. Homer responds politely, “You know, Marge, in some ways, you and I are very different people.”
– I love how meek Homer is addressing the crowd at his first performance. Latter day Homer would be bombastic and loud, but here he has a bit more humility. He builds up his courage in ensuing performances, as he grows more and more comfortable with himself, like a real person would.
– Nice bit where Homer signs a cannonball for a kid, gives it back to him, and the weight immediately pulls him down to the ground
– Nice exchange between Homer and Billy Corgan of the Smashing Pumpkins (“My kids think you’re the greatest. And thanks to your gloomy music, they’ve finally stopped dreaming of a future I can’t possibly provide.” “Well, we try to make a difference.”)
– Cypress Hill takes a cue from Nelson, taunting “Haw-haw!” at Bart when Marge briefly recounts when he ripped his pants at the Christmas play.
– I would like to hear the full version of “Insane in the Membrane” with orchestral accompaniment. I love the serious expression of the one violinist too.

(originally aired April 28, 1996)
Grampa is one of the show’s more interesting characters. His senile outbursts are his main gimmick, which, like with much of the cast, would usurp his entire character in later years, but his life story is very rich, with fascinating tidbits that may or may not be completely true. He’s a man very much the product of his era: an agile young man sent off to war, who then came back home to settle down with a family. We’ve seen a younger Abe before, full of vigor in his constant berating and denigrating of his only son. Here we see him at full physical form, leading a rough-tough battalion in the Ardennes during the war. We gain a newfound respect for him, as does Bart, who at first is embarrassed by his grandfather’s constant outbursts, but then starts to believe his war stories aren’t complete nonsense. This is a pretty crazy ambitious episode, and some of the stuff is maybe too fantastical for the normally grounded series, but it’s incredibly entertaining and one of my favorites.

We start by re-establishing that everyone thinks Grampa is a delusional old coot, especially Bart. But he soon learns of his grandfather’s wartime past, of how he entered a pact with his fellow soldiers in the Hellfish battalion regarding a treasure trove of paintings stolen by the Nazis. The last surviving member will gain access to these priceless items, and the only two left are Abe and Mr. Burns. Burns, being the greedy old miser that he is, wants to speed up the process, hiring an assassin to try to kill Abe. The attempted murders are pretty damn absurd, but they kind of keep the episode balanced from getting too dark. The flashbacks during Grampa’s story are fantastic. We get to see Abe at his most active and courageous, and that even back then, Burns was just as selfish and with as great a sense of entitlement as ever. We also see that familiar ancestors like Wiggum and Barney’s fathers were part of the platoon, which is a bit silly, but it makes sense given that Springfield is the typical American town that most townsfolk would have enlisted. We’ve seen Abe’s wartime experiences in a few flashbacks, mostly as gags (him posing as a cabaret singer comes to mind), but it’s great to see it here played in a serious light. A particularly nice moment is the air of respect he gives when he addresses the gravestones of his men, which feels so genuine, even if it is capped off with a joke (“I want you to know that when I die, you’re all welcome to visit me in rich men’s heaven.”)

Bart manages to swipe Burns’s Hellfish key, and together with Grampa’s, trigger the Hellfish grave marker to shine a light on the location of the treasure… out at sea. They manage to retrieve the sunken crate, but are ambushed by Burns, who buys time escaping by kicking Bart into the empty crate to sink to a watery grave. Now, this is hands down the most evil, unforgivable thing Burns has ever done, and it would seem to be going too far, but for some reason it doesn’t feel that way. You’re wrapped up in the story, and we get to see Grampa be heroic in saving his grandson, and then regaining his past physical feisty nature in getting onto Burns’s boat and taking him down. It’s a proud moment for him, and we’re glad to see it. The resolution is pitch perfect, with the U.S. government arriving to retrieve the paintings, and to avoid unwanted tension overseas, they return the items to their closest living inheritor: some snooty Eurotrash douchebag (hilariously performed by Hank Azaria). It’s a real adventurous episode overall. Later seasons would be known for having big action sequences and ramping up some crazier elements, which are present in this episode, but the difference is this one earned its finale. The plot is very interesting and works with our characters, and we even get a nice bonding moment between Bart and Grampa at the very end, which is then wonderfully undercut by the best line in the show: “Hey, fun boys! Get a room!”

Tidbits and Quotes
– We get a look at some of the other kids’s grandparents: Grandpa Van Houten has an RV and a new wife, and Grandpa Muntz, a judge, is proud to announce he’s just sentenced his forty-seventh man to death, a factoid Nelson is quite proud of.
– I love everything about Grampa addressing Bart’s class. Where the other men just stood in front of the blackboard, Abe makes himself comfortable, demanding attention as he takes a load off, putting his legs up on the desk as he tells his rambling story (“My story begins in nineteen-dickety-two. We had to say “dickety” ’cause that Kaiser had stolen our word “twenty”. I chased that rascal to get it back, but gave up after dickety-six miles…”) Martin scoffs, “‘Dickety’? Highly dubious!” Abe quickly retorts (“What’re you cackling at, fatty? Too much pie, that’s your problem!”)
– Abe’s mail gives us some good gags (“Consider burial… at Sea World!”) He’s none too thrilled (“This junk was hardly worth getting up for. Maybe if I go back to sleep for a few days, some good mail will build up.”)
– I love the atmosphere at the funeral in the rain. The music is very foreboding as Burns and Abe, the only two in attendance, give each other knowing stares while holding their respective keys. Reverend Lovejoy gives a lifeless eulogy of Asa Phelps’s life in the background, which is pretty funny if you actually listen to it (“Asa Phelps spent his entire life in Springfield, except for four years of service in World War II and one high school day-trip. He worked at the United Strut and Bracing Works as a molder’s boy, until he was replaced by a Molder-Matic, and died.”)
– The Hellfish symbol and the grave marker are fabulous designs. They really give the episode a historical, mysterious feel to it.
– Nice swipe at Marion Barry as Burns calls the assassin, identifying himself as M.B., to which the assassin asks “Barry” if it’s time for another shipment. Barry was mayor of the District of Columbia, infamous for falling victim to a sting operation in 1990 where he did coke. And then afterwards was re-elected. Funny world we live in.
– I like how the assassin’s plans just get worse and worse, from the Simpson family disguises (I love Smithers’s Bart disguise. Like, why would they think this would work? “I’ll be in the car, dudes”) and then later of him just going for broke and shooting up the retirement home. Unfortunately for him, the nurses are packing heat themselves (“Our residents [shot] are trying [shot] to nap!! [shot]”)
– A small moment I love when Grampa is on the Simpson couch recalling the assassination attempts. Thinking her grandfather is out of it, Lisa suggests she moisten the washcloth on his forehead. Grampa shoots up, irate (“It’s plenty moist!”) I love that line.
– I love the explanation of why Burns was just a private. Abe explains that he was busted for obstructing a probe from J. Edgar Hoover, and they got stuck with him in the battalion.
– A very exciting moment when Abe saves Burns from a grenade blast quickly gets turned into a wild dirty joke (“They took a photo of my keister for Stars and Stripes! …at least they told me it was for Stars and Stripes.”) So, yeah, some dirty men’s erotic magazine used a photo of Abe’s ass. Or something to that effect.
– Ox, the stereotypical dim tough guy, is great for when we see him, the only man who can explain what a tontine is in unusually eloquent terms. Abe also explains he was the first to die, getting a hernia carrying the crate of paintings out of the castle.
– I like Bart’s urgings to go with Burns to get the treasure (“I won’t eat much and I don’t know the difference between right and wrong!”) and Burns’s response (“Oh, you’re a good boy, but the child labor people have been watching me like a hawk.”) This was all an elaborate ruse of course so Bart could get the keys.
– Nice back-and-forth to start the final act as Bart and Grampa walk through the cemetery (“Hey, Grampa, do you think that dead bodies get up and walk around at night?” “If they’re anything like me, they have to get up twice.”)
– Bart needs to dive down into the water to retrieve the crate. Grampa sets up a signal system: tug the rope sixty-three times if he’s out of air, and sixty-four if he’s found the treasure. Why so many times? So dumb, but so great. Dan Castellaneta gives a great performance when the rope tugs sixty-three times and Abe bemoans his grandson’s death, but when the rope tugs one more time, he becomes joyful without skipping a beat.
– As over-the-top as it is, I do love the climax. It’s a real exciting and satisfying conclusion with these two old men returning to their past selves: heroic Abe and underhanded Burns.

(originally aired March 31, 1996)
It’s amazing how much story some of these episodes can fit in twenty minutes. The emotional core of “A Fish Called Selma” could span an entire film, while the plot of “Bart on the Road” could easily fill an hour and a half. Even so, the compact running time makes every scene feel integral, keeping the plot focused. It’s amazing how fast the show went from “Bart deals with the school bully” to “Bart gets a fake ID and road trips with his friends and gets stranded having to courier shipments to Hong Kong.” But the characters still feel true, and the situations, ridiculous as they may be, still seem within the realm of believability, at least in this universe. Anyway, the story: on the eve of spring break, Skinner enacts “Go to Work with your Parents Day” and Bart ends up stuck with Patty and Selma. Printing a fake ID and utilizing Martin’s newly earned cash, they, Milhouse and Nelson go on a road trip, under the guise to their parents of attending a “grammar rodeo.” Meanwhile, Lisa spends the day at work with Homer, which continues through their break as the two form a stronger bond.

Man, I haven’t even touched a third of the story yet. As I said, I can handle most of the unbelievable things in this episode. Everyone being dim enough to think Bart is of age? Okay. (“You sure don’t look 25, but your unlaminated, out-of-state driver’s license is proof enough for me.”) Parents allowing their kids to attend a school event in Canada with no permission slips or any investigation at all? Fine. I didn’t even have a problem with Bart apparently knowing exactly how to drive (how does he even reach the pedals?) All is excused thanks to the rule of funny. There’s only one thing I have a slight issue with: the sun sphere collapsing and crushing their car. No one notices this and comes to see what’s up? Even if Nelson threw the rock, they should still be entitled to some restitution. But they’re kids, so they don’t know. So this is where I draw the line, apparently. Everyone had their own threshold. But ultimately, a minor quibble, and it is touched in the last scene when Marge gets continuous phone calls about all the crazy shit the boys were up to, an acknowledgement from the writers of all the silly loose ends.

Running alongside the crazy A-plot is the sweet B-plot of Homer and Lisa. Lisa admitting her secret crush to her father is such an adorable scene. Dan Castellaneta and Yeardley Smith give absolutely genuine performances, and it’s always great when those two actually spend some time together. The two stories collide when Bart is left with no option but to call Lisa for help, who then tells Homer so the two can come up with a plan to get the boys home. As crazy as the episode is, all of its pieces fit perfectly. For some reason I hadn’t put together that Martin’s wad of cash came from him working the stock market with his dad. We start with talking about Skinner’s trip to Hong Kong, then we see him there at the end when a sleep deprived Bart must make a delivery. And the touching resolution where Homer has the kids shipped home care of Langdon Alger, the boy Lisa has (or had) a crush on. For an episode that goes all out, it’s very tight knit, making for an extremely satisfying watching experience.

Tidbits and Quotes
– I like that despite his dedication to his school, Skinner can be just as self-serving as anyone, instating “Go to Work with your Parents Day” because he couldn’t change his flight (“Tomorrow you will learn by doing and applying your knowledge of fractions and gym to real-world situations.”)
– As much as I’d like to try eating cereal and milk out of the box, I know that in ten seconds it would soak right through the bottom. I also like how Bart dug his own grave with his snark about wanting to see women in the workplace (ie: staying home and doing nothing with Marge), and then he must go to the DMV with Patty and Selma (“Some days we don’t let the line move at all.” “We call those weekdays.”)
– I love the exciting world of Kirk Van Houten’s cracker factory, with a salt tundra and sled dogs.
– An incredibly sweet scene with Homer and Lisa playing wearing radiation suits (“This is way more fun with a second person!”) I love that Homer clearly doesn’t know what the suits are when Lisa first asks about them.
– What’s the first thing you do as a kid with a fake ID? Go see an R-rated movie. Unfortunately for Bart and the others, that movie is David Cronnenberg’s Naked Lunch (“I can think of at least two things wrong with that title.”) They then go to score beers at Moe’s, which turns into a mini PSA against underage drinking. Seeing Barney and the other miserable barflies is more effective against drinking than any of the anti-alcohol ads I’ve ever seen.
– I love Milhouse’s brief little geeky freakout (“Spring breeeaaak! Yeah!”)
– Excellent bit showing the kids reading off Bart’s bullshit letter about the grammar rodeo to their parents, ending with Nelson just walking out (“I’m goin’ away for a week. See yah!”) He hasn’t even looked at the note, he just crumples it up.
– Amazing animated moment where we first see the road trip, an aerial view of the car going into a complete wrap around the vehicle. The show now can easily do this with CG rendering, but this? All hand drawn, baby. Also great how the awesome bit turns immediately to Milhouse spastically turning the volume knobs like the huge dork he is.
– I love the mini story of how Marge is home all by herself, and with no kids or husband to look after, she’s got nothing. The best bit is when she forcibly nudges Maggie awake to upset her, just so she can comfort her and fulfill her natural motherly instincts.
– Very true moment that Bart enacts a big road trip without actually thinking of where to, and that Milhouse puts so much faith in the AAA guidebook. Later at the long ended World’s Fair, we see that the year edition is in big bold letters on the cover. How did Milhouse miss that? The answer is that he’s Milhouse.
– Great bit where Smithers confronts Homer and Lisa, who are knocking loose snacks from the vending machine, and is quickly subdued thanks to his penchant toward Jolly Ranchers. (“Nice work, Simpson. …Simpsons.”)
– Hilarious performance by Castellaneta as an extremely irate father on the road, absolutely sick of his kids and their noisy backseat bullshit. I love how cavalier Nelson slaps the back of his head from the other car, and the dad’s explosive reaction (“That’s it! Back to Winnipeg!”)
– Great montage of the various road trip stops, including one to pick up an escaped mental patient straight out of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Then they get ice cream, and the madman seems quite cordial overall (“I don’t think I was rehabilitated, but I guess they needed the extra bed.”)
– Great trip through Branson, Missouri. A much later episode would have its climax there, but Homer seems to have nailed it down here: it’s like Vegas if it were run by Ned Flanders. We also learn Nelson’s great affinity toward Andy Williams, the shot of him awestruck in his seat is hysterical (“I didn’t think he’d do ‘Moon River,’ then bam! Second encore!”)
– Nice inversion of the prank phone calls where Homer doles out the angry outbursts to Moe.
– Langdon Alger is not only the perfect name for a boy Lisa would like, but his brief description fits perfectly too (“a quiet boy who enjoys puzzles.”) It’s also great seeing her fickle childish nature later when she tells her dad she doesn’t like him anymore. What did poor Langdon do that was so bad? Poor guy.
– It’s stupid enough that there was originally an information desk inside the sun sphere, but that they would store mountains of wigs up there may be even dumber. Great smash cut showing the four despondent kids sitting on the curb with various wigs on.
– Special mention must be made of the Al Gore doll (“You are hearing me talk.”)
– I like how when the kids try to catch a train that’s too fast for them, Nelson is a bit more persistent and runs a bit farther than the others before stopping.
– An especially dumb moment where Bart mistakes ‘courier’ for ‘terrier.’ Lisa’s flat reaction to her brother’s stupid mixup is great.
– A truly wonderful bit when after hearing where Bart is, Homer’s face goes beet red and he must vent his unintelligible anger, screaming so much into the radiation helmet that it fogs up the visor. He then attempts to calm himself and address Lisa (“I will send Bart the money to get home, and then I will murder him.”)
– The animation of Homer casually pouring soda on his work console is great. I love how he runs his finger on the brim of the soda can and flicks the last few drops on for good measure.
– Great bit at the end at the dinner table where Bart is quite pleased how he got away with it all. Lisa is pissed, Homer is pissed, but Marge is none the wiser.