(originally aired February 5, 1995)
Y’know, after doing so many of these write-ups, some episodes you just kinda get stuck on what to say about them. This is a spectacular episode full of lots of great character bits, memorable set pieces and a satisfying, heartwarming ending, but I don’t have much to report on besides that. I’m sure I’ll come up with something, though. For how silly this episode can get, it’s very economical, where all the events lead you through the story and pay off in the end. We open with Bart’s brilliant balloon prank, which results in his punishment to help Skinner in his early morning astronomy. The balloon returns to distract Skinner as Bart observes a comet by happenstance and gets the credit. Then at the very end, the comet shoots through the balloon coming into the atmosphere, closing the book on Skinner’s public humiliation… for now.

This episode is also a great look at mob mentality, which is a common theme in this show. A whole mass of Springfield residents arrive at the door of Ned Flanders’s bunker, wielding weapons hoping to get in, but they quickly disperse and apologize when Ned tells them they’re full. Ned thinks better and allows them all in, which leads to the hilarious image of all the townspeople stuffed in a small space, a visual that works wonders. Not only are there small jokes within (Waldo appears briefly, the bottom right with Nelson having Milhouse in a headlock), it’s interesting direction dealing with so many characters in a confined space. Anyway, Homer vindictively casts Ned out to save the rest, which Ned does so willingly of course. Then no sooner after does Homer decry everyone else for the decision he himself proposed (“I’m surprised and disgusted by all of you, especially his children!”) He goes out to join Ned, and the rest of the crowd is soon to follow. Springfield mobs are usually easy to sway, and when they shift focus, they go all out, regardless of any kind of sense (Moe is next to leave: “Hey Homer, wait up, I wanna die too!”)

Umm… ahhm… we see more general incompetence on behalf of local and national leaders. The Quimby-sanctioned plan to stop the comet is to send a missile to blow it up before it gets too close to the planet. The people of Springfield are easily mollified by this, thinking the plan sounds like dynamite. It can’t fail! They walk outside after the town hall meeting, take a look at the menacing comet in the sky, and they just laugh. And then they gather outside at night to watch the comet get destroyed like it’s some kind of fireworks display. It’s all a show, until shit gets real when the missile ends up blowing up the only bridge out of town. Later we see such ineptitude in a higher scale when a bill to evacuate Springfield on the floor of Congress is about to go through, until it is hastily paired with an unorthodox rider: $30 million of taxpayer money to support the perverted arts. The Springfield-slash-pervert bill is instantly defeated (Kent Brockman muses, “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: democracy simply doesn’t work.”) Sorry if this review feels kind of half-assed. Some episodes I kinda get stuck on, and while this is a really really great episode, I haven’t much to say about in on a whole. I’ll do better next time, I promise.

Tidbits and Quotes
– Skinner proudly closes science week with the launch of a weather balloon, which Bart seems suspiciously excited about (“‘Hurrah for science, woo’? I can’t say I approve of the ‘woo,’ but the ‘hurrah’ was quite heartening.”) The incredulous repeating of Bart’s excited words is hilarious. Harry Shearer is fantastic in this episode as Skinner, his passion for his amateur astronomy, his deep-imbedded hatred for his rival principal, and his feeble attempts to make things go his way, which always go wrong.
– The big butt Skinner balloon is such a fantastic design. It’s so fantastic, it’s something that really Bart should be praised for making something that creative and elaborate.
– I love the DJ alarm on Bart’s clock at 4 am (“Top of the hour, time for the morning news. But of course, there is no news yet. Everyone’s still asleep in their comfy, comfy beds. Good night, everybody.”)
– I could listen to Skinner read out findings all day. I love after the time lapse he’s still just as eager to read out the coordinates… but it still leads to nothing.
– Great, great line when Skinner manages to capture the balloon (“Got you, my rumpy doppelganger!”) And hilarious act break with a gut punch to Skinner: Bart steals his discovery, which causes him to let go of the balloon, then the paper boy makes his deliver, with headline “Prez Says: School Is For Losers.”
– Lots of great stuff at the town hall meeting, from Quimby’s opening statement (“Fellow citizens, when I learned about the impending crisis, I caught the very next plane to Springfeld… field”), to both the slideshow rendering and Frink’s model demonstration both resulting in Moe’s being singled out as destroyed (both accompanied by Moe reacting, “Oh… dear God, no!”)
– Great quick joke that the armory rocker is labeled, “Aim Away From Face.”
– The news report at the start of act three has some great lines, starting with Kent (“And, like Icarus, the rocket foolishly soared too high, and lost control of its servo guidance mechanism, leaving us with some six hours to live,”) Arnie Pye reporting on cars lunging over the destroyed bridge out of town (“It’s a silent testament to the never-give-up and never-think- things-out spirit of our citizens,”) and finally, Kent’s last-ditch revelation (“The following people are gay,”) a list that consists of a majority of the Simpsons staff.
– The ending with everyone coming together singing “Que Sera” is pretty sweet, and the harrowing fact that the only thing the comet destroys is the bomb shelter. And of course the very end is great with the shocking realization that Homer was right all along that the comet would break up to be no larger than a chihuahua’s head, and to further push that point, it lands right next to one of the tiny dogs just for scale’s sake.

(originally aired January 8, 1995)
I’m sure I don’t need to say, but this is one of the more famous classic episodes. Every Simpsons fan loves the Stonecutters. I’m interested in rewatching these most highly of remembered episodes for a few reasons, one of which is trying to pin what makes them stand out so much amongst the rest. Is it the great song? Is it the general silliness of the premise? Is it the exotic locale and satire of boorish brotherhoods? These episodes also get held under slightly tighter scrutiny, which sometimes can be to their detriment. In the case of “Homer the Great,” it maybe hurt a little: there are a lot of funny bits in here, and great classic moments of course, but as a whole it didn’t gel as well as I’d hoped. But it’s definitely fondly remembered for very good reason.

Homer grows suspect of Lenny and Carl’s suspicious behavior, and soon learns that they are members of a mysterious, exclusive club. He manages to worm his way in himself, becoming anointed into the Stonecutters, a secret society whose members don robes, assign identifying numbers and bow before the visage of their sacred parchment. Now, my knowledge of these kinds of clubs doesn’t extend much farther than the Royal Order of Water Buffalo, but I still get the point here: an organization of phony mysticism and alleged grandeur, but ultimately just an excuse for husbands to ditch their wives for the night, get drunk, eat ribs and play ping pong. But if this is the case, then the clientele should match. Lenny and Carl, Moe, Wiggum, Joe Quimby, Krusty, all make sense. But would Mr. Burns be a member of such a rowdy social gathering? Or Skinner? Dr. Hibbert? I dunno, maybe.

Upon desecrating the sacred parchment in the most spectacular, over-the-top way, Homer is banished from the group, until they notice an conspicuous birthmark that matches their logo. Homer is their fabled Chosen One who would lead their group to glory. Now… what does this mean exactly? If this group is really just a front to get smashed and goof around with the guys, what’s the Chosen One going to do? They keep playing cards and shooting pool, but now they have to let Homer win and bow before his every word. What do they get out of it? Is this a comment on the absurdness of ancient ritual? Like adhering to every word of the Bible? Am I digging too deep? These story issues are ultimately minor quibbles, since this episode’s got way too many classic bits to count. The egg council guy. The Gettysberg monkeys. The Stone of Shame, and the Stone of Triumph. And of course, No Homers Club. And a good sweet and sour ending in true Simpsons fashion. Despite my few issues, who still loves this episode? We do. …er, I do.

Tidbits and Quotes
– A breach of continuity, sure, but it’s really a great gag that Homer parks so far away from the plant, he’s right next to his own backyard.
– The “It’s a secret.” “Shut up!” bit is hilarious, I love Hank Azaria’s annoyed read for Carl, and when Carl can’t follow-up Lenny the third time, Homer steps right in to retort with his own “Shut up!”
– Homer attempts to present an excuse to his wife, but his brain fails to help him out (“I’ll be back in a minute. I’m…going outside. To…stalk… Lenny and Carl. …D’oh!”)
– Some bonehead Homer logic: hooking the paint to Lenny’s car to leave a trail is a good plan, I suppose, but then he tails him pretty much the whole way there. Why do the paint thing then?
– Homer confronting Lenny and Carl the night after witnessing the Stonecutters is great (“I saw weird stuff in that place last night. Weird, strange, sick, twisted, eerie, godless, evil stuff! And I want in.”)
– Homer laments to his wife in bed why people don’t like him. Marge responds that he’s a wonderful person. Perfectly on cue, Homer vents, “Why don’t those stupid idiots let me in their crappy club for jerks?” Then cue a classic flashback to the past of li’l Homer being barred from a neighborhood clubhouse: no Homers allowed. But Homer Glumplich is allowed (“Guh-hyuk!”) The explanation is flawless (“It says no Homeeeers. We’re allowed to have one.”) This of course has a pitch perfect callback at the very end.
– I like Abe at the table’s desperate pleas for attention. I could listen to him yell, “I’m a member!” through an entire irrelevant dinner conversation all day. Also great is how Homer carts him around like a possession at the lodge, gloating that now they have to let him in, whether they like it or not (“Okay, Homer, you’re in. Just don’t point that thing at me.”)
– Maybe another conflicting issue with the Stonecutters is Patrick Stewart as Number One, who delivers each dumb line with such a confident and serious air. He does an great, great job of course (his read on “The Paddling of the Swollen Ass… with paddles” is so very powerful), but I take him so seriously in that part, that the jokey nature of the story starts to drift.
– Homer lives it up with his perks as a Stonecutter: the secret passageway with fancy gilded paintings and music is great, and of course, the real 911 (912).
– Homer couldn’t have done more damage to that parchment: wiping his mouth, licking at it, cleaning his ears, blowing his nose… it’s a spectacular sequence, with great shots of the horrified members (my favorite is an incensed Moe, “Oh God!“) Then of course in a fit of merciful passion, he smashes the tattered remnants to bits accidentally.
– The turn at the end with Homer taking Lisa’s advice for the club to be more philanthropous and the group begrudging that makes total sense. He took their fun boy’s club into something that helps people and they hate him for that. I just feel there’s a way it could have worked better and hit the mark I believe it could. At the end, their over zealous anger feels too much when the joke should work better. Now I feel like I’m bitching again. I love the guest spot by H.W. Bush (“I’m afraid I have to disagree with Orville, Jack, and Mr., can’t we just do something to his voice box?”)
– We do have the sweet ending with Marge reminding Homer is club Simpson, where two members have very special rings (not Bart and Lisa’s cereal box ones, which actually look real cool). And then our snark with the team hazing of Homer (“Alright, alright, it’s Lisa’s turn.”) Not much in character for Marge, but hey, still funny.

(originally aired December 4, 1994)
Oooh, look at this, two risque episodes in a row. I like that the series felt brave enough to tackle mature topics, sort of rubbing it in the face of all the ignorant viewers who automatically think all animation is appropriate for kids. Right away, we have several scenes set over a long period of time of Marge’s dissatisfaction over her inactive husband not fulfilling needs in the bedroom. It’s a neat dynamic, and a very realistic handling of the problem, as the two seek outside help with reigniting the sparks of their marriage with a book on tape by Paul Harvey (brilliantly mimicked by Harry Shearer.) When all suggestions seem to fail, Grampa, of all people, comes to the rescue with his secret home-brewed revitalizing tonic, which Homer takes begrudgingly (in the best line of the show, Abe yells to his son, “Think of me when you’re having the best sex of your life!”)

The tonic works wonders for Homer, which leads to he and his father traveling to various cities peddling their sexual rejuvenating wares. Here we get some jokes about shifty traveling salesmen, and an aborted subplot that kind of goes nowhere as the kids of Springfield draw up wild conspiracy theories as to why their parents are going to bed so early. But it isn’t long before things get serious. The two stumble upon the old Simpson farm where Homer spent his childhood, and start to wax nostalgic on the good ol’ days… almost. Homer recalls the rampant criticism his father gave him, and how it continues well into the present. As we’ve seen in flashbacks, there’s a real sour undercurrent in Homer’s youth that Abe was pretty hostile and psychologically damaging to his son, and while most of it is played for laughs, the serious gravity of it is still present. In a fit of anger, Abe admits the love tonic was responsible for his wife’s pregnancy, and that Homer was an unintended accident. Mighty harsh words, particularly for an early 90s sitcom. This show had balls, and wasn’t afraid to tread on matters like this.

Not wanting to be like his own father, Homer vows to be a better dad to his own kids, but ends up aggravating and smothering them. They could have kept this going much longer than it needed to, even dragged it into its own episodes (many episodes in the later era would do something similar), but good sense was made to have Bart and Lisa call their father out on his aggressive new parenting style (“No offense, Homer, but your half-assed under-parenting was a lot more fun than your half-assed over-parenting.”) Father and son come together in the end as each has a hand in accidentally burning down the family house, where Abe pays his son his very first cordial remark (“I’m not sorry I had you, son. I was always proud… that you weren’t a short man.”) It’s a really sweet ending that actually carries some weight, where they both admit they’re damaged individuals, and the house burning down being like wiping away their troubled past. Maybe I’m attributing too much symbolism, but I think the Homer-Abe dynamic was worked with really well, with a great human element to it.

Tidbits and Quotes
– “Good-Time Slim, Uncle Doobie, and the Great ‘Frisco Freak-Out” is a spectacular 70s Cheech and Chong type flick that of course Troy McClure would have starred in (“There’s more than one way to get high, baby.”) I also love Homer’s defense of it (“How often can I see a movie of this calibre on late-night TV?”)
– Very risque bit where we see Homer and Marge in the buff and an alarmed Bart runs in thinking he’s seen a UFO… which is actually a golf umbrella. Even the saintly parent Marge is so pent up she allows a panicked Bart to sit on the roof with a baseball bat, but Homer is passed out by the time she returns to bed. Homer explains his problems (“Marge, there’s just too much pressure, what with my job, the kids, traffic snarls, political strife at home and abroad. But I promise you, the second all those things go away, we’ll have sex.”)
– Great reference to Mapplethorpe. My art history classes actually came in handy.
– The Al Gore joke is so hilarious, but I love the set-up, where Lisa says UFO conspiracies are bogus, then we get the X-Files music where we follow a bunch of wires all the way to the White House, so you think you know where the joke is going, but then we get Al Gore celebrating good times (“I will.”)
– Dan Castellaneta is phenomenal this episode as Grampa, especially when we first see him and he asks his son what’s wrong, naming off many things, including a phony condition that’s got like a hundred letters in it. Then the great line, “What, seeeex? What’s so unappealing about hearing your elderly father talk about sex? I had seeex.” The drawn out readings of “sex” are so hilariously overdone.
– The Stock Footage film festival is such a great cop-out joke: why would there be a sign inside the theater saying what it is, and why would Bart and Lisa want to watch this? Regardless, still funny.
– I love Homer’s attempts to pitch at mall-going folk (“Hello You look like a man who needs help satisfying his wife.”) and then his musings over how that didn’t go so well (“I guess people have some sort of moral objection to our sex drug.”)
– Abe lists off their target cities, which of course all have impotent sounding names: Frigid Falls, Mount Seldom, Lake Flaccid.
– I thought li’l Homer imitating John F. Kennedy was really cute. And as I mentioned, Abe’s “advice” to his young son is as hilarious as it is emotionally devastating (“This is the greatest country in the world. We’ve got a whole system set up to prevent people like you from ever becoming president. Quit your daydreaming, melonhead!”)
– I love how pathetically the third act starts, where Abe shows up at the door with flowers apologizing to his son, who then slams the door on him. He crumbles a few of them through the mail slot, then puts his hand through and waves, “Hi.”
– Last thing, I love the blunt title. I’m sure at this point they didn’t give a shit about the episode names, so they were like, “What do we call this one?” And this is what they landed on. It may be my favorite title of any episode.