Category: Season 06

127. Lemon of Troy

~ Mike! ~ 15 Comments

(originally aired May 14, 1995)
Shelbyville is probably one of my favorite overall elements of the series, this neighboring town that the people of Springfield needlessly vilify to assert themselves to a higher plane. In this episode, we find out the origins of the towns (with the reasoning of their divide being just as stupid), and, more enlightening, that the Shelbyvillians are just as spiteful and vindictive as their neighbors. It’s just one never-ending feud over inconsequential matters, with each party too pig-headed to realize how stupid it all is. This is the quintessential Springfield-Shelbyville episode, that does a great job examining the dynamics between the two towns and how each side is equally as foolish.

Through his mother’s repetitious urgings, Bart is instilled with a renewed sense of town pride, just in time to find punk kids from Shelbyville have taken off with their beloved lemon tree. In response, he forms a ragtag group of kids to venture into uncharted territory to get back what’s theirs. Before this, we have the scene where the two groups of kids meet at the city line, and it sets the stage perfectly: their childish back-and-forths and swipes at each other fit, but it’s also just interesting that they’re fighting over something they have no real consciousness about. Hatred of their neighbors is something just instilled to them by their parents, they’re unknowing pawns in this ongoing stupidness. To push this artificial rivalry further, Shelbyville appears to be full of “evil” parallels, with the main kid Shelby being like a bastardized Bart (and his father as well, adapting Homer’s original Walter Mattheu-like voice). The petty rivalry between Springfield and Shelbyville is one I felt could have been explored a lot further in future episodes, but in a way, I think this one kind of ruined it by making it so ridiculously over-the-top. Would you want to see an episode featuring the goings-ons of Joe’s Tavern and a gender-swapped Willie? No, but it works spectacularly for that one stupid joke.

Soon enough the Springfield parents get involved in tracking down their kids, and then they quickly learn of the abducted lemon tree. Homer’s mindset is brilliantly encapsulated in the few scenes where they find the kids: he’s initially angry and lecturing to his son, then upon hearing Shelbyville stole the lemon tree, immediately switches gears and channels his anger toward that. I’m sure Homer didn’t even know there was a lemon tree in Springfield; all he knows is Shelbyville took it and it’s theirs, goddammit. Shelbyville may seem more antagonistic than Springfield, but the latter did burn down the former’s city hall, so both cities are pretty reprehensible. The plot basically would have been the same if the cities were reversed, but not quite as satisfying for us. Throughout all the silly assholery in this universe, we’re still pleased as punch as the Flanders RV drives the lemon tree back through the city line… and laugh when they inadvertently damage a large portion of their sacred icon.

Tidbits and Quotes
– Nice ridiculous fantasy of Bart imagining being labeled a future God by writing his name in wet cement (“He must have been much smarter than his sister Lisa, about whom we know nothing.”) They’re an advanced civilization who can bring a person back to life with what must only be a speck of DNA, but are absolutely amazed by a simple yo-yo trick.
– I like the quick montage of Bart and Milhouse running to the lemon tree, with Milhouse repeatedly stumbling and injuring himself over nice, light music. It’s not really emphasized as a joke, it’s just kind of there, just a quick illustration over the disparity between hero and sidekick. This ain’t Milhouse’s show.
– Because the kids know nothing about the ongoing feud, they must invent stuff to be angry about on their level. Milhouse accuses the Shelbyville kids of copying their own habit of wearing their backpacks over one shoulder. He’s rather incensed about it (“Step over this line and say that! I’ll kick your butt! …at Nintendo.”)
– Grampa regales the kids with the story of the origin of the two towns (“Hey everybody! An old man’s talking!”) If the name Jebediah Springfield wasn’t silly enough, his partner was Shelbyville Manhattan, who believed the whole reason for their journey was to form a town where one could marry one’s cousin. Jebediah asks why on earth one would want to do that; Shelbyville responds, “Because they’re so attractive.” That tears it, and the two split up their parties (“The town of Springfield was born on that day, and to mark that sweet moment, our people planted this lemon tree, lemons being the sweetest fruit available at the time.”)
– Great bit where Nelson calls the kids out of class, it’s an emergency and no time to explain. This works when you have an immediate cut to them arriving at their destination, but we see them running downtown and Nelson stopping at a drinking fountain (“I said there’s no time to explain and I stick by that!”)
– The lemon tree is gone, and Bart vows to get it back (“That lemon tree’s a part of our town, and as kids, the backbone of our economy. We’ll get it back, or choke their rivers with our dead!”) At home, Bart tells his mother her speech about town pride really stuck and he’s going to go teach some Shelbyville kids a lesson. Marge is none the wiser (“I choose to take that literally!”) Outside, Bart yells, “Death to Shelbyville!” Homer goes along with his wife’s interpretation (“Tute on, son! Tute on!”)
– I love the quick fantasy Milhouse has, that his camo outfit will give him Cheshire Cat-like abilities (“Over here, my friends! Or is it over here?”)
– Milhouse seems to be the most irritated of all of the kids, but I feel he’s putting some of it on just to seem ramped up about the mission (“The kid with the backpack said ‘radical.’ I say ‘radical.’ That’s my thing that I say! I feel like I’m going to explode here!”) Of course I don’t remember him ever saying that. His complaints are usually targeted toward that one similarly blue-haired kid, which has a beautiful payoff when he learns he’s also named Milhouse, and a great microcosm that the two towns could really have a fine bond if they drop their stupid feud (“So this is what it feels like when doves cry!”)
– I love how dense Marge is regarding Bart’s actual border-crossing activities. Lisa eventually has to flat-out tell her mother that Bart’s waging war on Shelbyville, and Marge is horrified (“Homer! Come quick! Bart’s quit his tutoring job and joined a violence gang!”)
– The scene with Martin and Nelson shaking down Shelbyville kids in wonderful: Martin acting assertive is fantastic, under the consistent assertion that his best buddy and protector Nelson will save him. Nelson sheepishly appears and reasserts his cred (“I never hang out with him, normally.”) before knocking out Martin’s would-be attacker. Martin is most pleased, singing a song of triumph while dancing around Nelson, who has such little care or energy to deal with this he just half-heartedly swipes at him.
– I like how Bart’s big reveal of himself to the Shelbyville kids lands so flat, like the name Bart Simpson is not as immortal as he’d hope. They even saw him the other day and don’t recognize he’s a Springfieldian until he says so.
– The scene where Bart has to escape the tiger feeding area by deciphering Roman numerals is kind of dumb, but I still like it for calling back earlier when Bart didn’t pay attention in class, and his solution in recalling the titles of Rocky movies (“Rocky V plus Rocky II equals… Rocky VII: Adrian’s Revenge!”)
– I’ll reiterate how much I love that Shelby’s father has the Walter Mattheu voice. It’s almost like these are the un-evolved versions of Bart and Homer. He’s also got some of the best lines (“Get out here, son! There’s a doin’s a-transpirin’!” “Shake harder, boy!”)
– It’s such a stupid, stupid, stupid, dumb joke, but I still love the bit where Ned can’t start the engine because Homer has chosen this highly dramatic and tense get-away moment to cook and baste four turkeys in the oven.
– Homer and Bart taunt Shelbyville from the window (“Eat my shorts!”) Ned attempts to join in (“Yes, eat all of our shirts!”)
– Each town gets their moment of triumph: Bart and Milhouse celebrate with some lemonade (just a few drops with an entire glass full of sugar), and Shelbyville’s resident old man assures that their town valiantly evicted the lemon tree because it was haunted, and now they could enjoy some nice turnip juice.

126. The Springfield Connection

~ Mike! ~ 8 Comments

(originally aired May 7, 1995)
“Homer-gets-a-job” episodes, at least in these early years, seemed to examine an average Joe put in a new situation, like “Dancin’ Homer” and “Deep Space Homer.” “Marge-gets-a-job” episodes tend to have a bit more going on, an examination of her as more than a doting housekeeper and downtrodden wife. As we’ve seen before, Marge has a lot of smarts and potential, but is basically completely squandered and dulled down in the lot of life she’s at now. Seeing her reach outside her comfort zone to something new is as exciting to the viewer as it is to her. In this episode, following an impromptu subduing of street thug Snake, she decides to become a police officer. Seemingly a stretch for the typically docile Marge, but it’s handled very believably: she originally acts on impulse by her rampant morality over Snake’s crooked card game, and her quench for justice only goes from there. Marge can have a thirst for danger just like anyone else, she just needs to be pushed in the right direction.

So after a weekend of police academy (which is just one great incompetent Wiggum joke after another), Marge is on the beat. We see how her new life starts to affect the world around her, with her friends becoming tight-lipped in her presence to Homer feeling somewhat emasculated (“You being a cop makes you the man… which makes me the woman. I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which, as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing.”) However, Homer quickly realizes having a cop wife means he basally has a free pass to do anything, playing poker with his buddies while smoking Cuban cigars in his own home, then parking over three handicap spaces at the Kwik-E-Mart. The final scene in act two is really well done; Homer isn’t pushed too far into pure jerkass stupidity, he’s just fooling around with his wife, not realizing the consequences, while Marge tries to keep her composure and ultimately has to arrest her husband.

The third act twist is slightly bizarre, but in a good way in true Simpsons fashion: season 1 throwback Herman has secretly set up shot in the Simpson garage to store counterfeit product… specifically blue jeans. Homer of course is none the wiser, but upon discovering the operation, gives a great speech unwittingly praising capitalism (“We’ve all thought about counterfeiting jeans at one time or another, but what about the victims? Hard-working designers like Calvin Klein, Gloria Vanderbilt, or Antoine Bugle Boy. These are the people who saw an overcrowded marketplace and said, ‘Me too!'”) Marge saves the day in a scene that equally balances the dramatic with the goofy. …well, maybe it’s more goofy then dramatic, but all the jokes hit hard, and it’s a satisfying conclusion. That and the jeans plot actually serve into Marge’s final straw for quitting her job. Even in a mostly silly episode like this, storytelling economy is taken into account, and this episode totally makes sense in its own dumb way.

Tidbits and Quotes
– I love how enraged Homer gets at the Springfield Pops concert (“Laser effects, mirrored balls… John Williams must be rolling around in his grave.”)
– The chase scene is great, where we see Snake running and a tall tuft of blue hair slowly approach from behind, turning Marge into this ominous threat. It’s actually pretty suspenseful when it gets to that alleyway and Snake whips out his switchblade; a lowlife thug about to accost an innocent woman. The payoff is believable though, with Marge socking him with the trashcan lid. The arrest is great too, when Snake pledges he’ll be back on the street in twenty-four hours. Wiggum responds, “We’ll try to make it twelve.” Even that sets up the theme of the episode, in case you forgot how useless the Springfield police were, there you go.
– The fake-out with the cops bringing in their “man,” which ends up being a hot pizza, is so ridiculous, but I still love it, especially when Marge comes in and a flummoxed Wiggum stammers, “Wha-wha-what, this better be about pizza!”
– Another thing this episode is great for is anticipating the audience’s expectations for a story direction and subverting it. There was potential for this show to have a “haze the only woman on the force” angle, but the show expected it. We have the great fake-out of the cops laughing excessively at Marge, then followed by Wiggum plainly saying, “Welcome aboard” (wonderfully repeated at the end when Marge quits.) Compare this to a much later episode when Marge does amateur carpentry and cannot find work because no one wants to hire a woman, which is both a poor plot twist and makes no goddamn sense.
– Great performance by Dan Castellaneta as an insane recruit at police academy (“Forget about the badge! When do we get the freakin’ guns?!”)
– Great brief appearance by Lionel Hutz, shifty as always (“I’ll have you know the contents of that dumpster are private! You stick your nose in, you’ll be violating attorney-dumpster confidentiality.”) Realizing Marge was merely saying hello to him, he nervously backpedals, then sets the dumpster ablaze, cutting his losses and takes off.
– I like the moment where Lisa gives her soapbox lecture about how police should be working to examine the roots of society’s problems rather than reprimand them after the fact, and Marge, unprepared to response, tries to mollify Lisa with a hand puppet.
– When Marge witnesses the card game, Moe attempts to absolve himself of wrongdoing (“Your house? Gee, it’s so glamorously decorated I thought I was in Vegas! Hey, you guys lied to me: you said it was Vegas!”)
– It’s cruel, yes, but I love the moment with Lovejoy “comforting” Hans Moleman in jail. When Hans asks if they’re really allowed to execute people in a local jail, Lovejoy responds, “From this point on, no talking.” Followed by a grim shot of Hans being led to his death. Of course we’ll see him again, so I’m not worried.
– Great line from Homer, upset about his wife’s new power (“When Marge first told me she was going to the police academy, I thought it’d be fun and exciting, you know, like that movie, Spaceballs. But instead it’s been painful and disturbing like that movie Police Academy.”)
– The counterfeit jeans fake-out reminds me of an old Dexter’s Laboratory episode where lowlife types were smuggling product of their own. One slices through a bag and a powdery white substance comes out… turns out it’s flour (“Gentlemen, we’re going to be making a lot of bread.”) It’s kind of funny that a cartoon ostensibly made for children had a more overt drug reference than The Simpsons.
– All the bits in Marge’s final stake-out is hilarious: the living targets (mirroring her earlier training) and Ned’s witch getting decimated (“I guess I am putting up the Hallowe’en decorations a little early. Criticism accepted,”) Bart and Lisa watching from the house, Marge’s motherly pride of knowing the secret entrance of her son’s treehouse, Herman’s adieu (“Gotta catch the 501!” Like Levi’s 501 jeans? Eh?) and his lament while falling (“Foiled by my shoddy merchandise!”)
– I like the timing of the final bit where we see the stalled poker game. Fed up with waiting, Moe decides to look at Homer’s cards. Fade to black. “Crap, I fold.” I also love the Hill Street Blues version of the end theme.

125. ‘Round Springfield

~ Mike! ~ 12 Comments

(originally aired April 30, 1995)
Bleeding Gums Murphy really does have an iconic presence as an all-time classic character, despite only appearing in two episodes (and the opening titles every week.) He’s this kindred spirit to Lisa, a mentor in the ways of music and life. Though being voiced by guest star Ron Taylor probably hindered it, I wish we had seen him a few more times before now, his grand reintroduction… where they kill him off. Well, we do get an interesting look of Murphy’s life before he goes, his days working in jazz clubs, his big break performing on The Tonight Show with Steve Allen, and his only produced record, “Sax on the Beach.” Lisa is fittingly thrilled to have her mentor back in her life again, and even though we only get a few scenes with them, the level of connection really gets across between the two characters. Lisa sees Murphy as her musical idol, and a family-less Murphy is touched to have a fan. Even to someone as learned as Lisa, death hits hard, and with someone as important to her as Murphy, she’s absolutely crushed. Yeardley Smith deliver a powerhouse performance here, wringing every bit of emotion she can from her scenes. There’s something about Lisa crying that immediately garners the utmost sympathy.

We also have our B-story, where Bart accidentally swallows a jagged metal cereal prize from a box of Krusty O’s and gets a meager cash settlement from Lionel Hutz for his troubles. I’m a little conflicted as to how this sillier story meshes with the tone of the main one, but they mainly stay separated. It’s most of the first act which leads us to Lisa reuniting with Murphy in the hospital, with the plot line dropped following his death, up until Bart gets the check, which leads to the sweet moment where he buys Murphy’s album for Lisa (reasoning that she was the only one who spoke up for Bart at the breakfast table when he first got hurt.) I more have a problem with some of the jokes taking place within the serious storylines, like both instances of the hot dog vendor showing up. First Homer acts incredibly cavalier at Bart’s operation, then the hot dog guy shows up, which feels wrong given the situation, which is the point, I guess, but still didn’t sit right. Then we have the second act break with the hot dog guy at the cemetery. It’s almost like they felt nervous to maintain the serious tone, when you can just as well get your jokes from the story itself (Lovejoy misreading the eulogy is funny, and fits to inspire Lisa to maintain Murphy’s legacy.)

Despite a few off-tone jokes, the episode maintains its meditative tone with each family member attempting to help Lisa with her grief, all within character. Homer starts off strong, until he completely blows it (“All we have to do is go down to the pound and get a new jazzman,”) Marge tries her best to remain supportive, and Bart reveals his theories of reincarnation, and wanting to come back as a butterfly (“Because nobody ever suspects the butterfly.”) As mentioned, he gets Murphy’s album for Lisa to play on the local jazz station, which gets its signal amplified thanks to divine intervention zapping the radio tower. The final scene between Lisa and cloud-force-ghost Murphy is incredibly touching, and we get a great play-off for the character in “Jazzman,” which is well performed by Smith. This is another episode that I saw in reruns a lot, but as many times as I saw it, I’d never turn it off. It may not be the funniest, but it’s got a lot of heart, and I really enjoy it.

Tidbits and Quotes
– Great bit of Krusty’s show, who seems to be having a particularly bad set, thanks to a new court-ordered sidekick, Ms. No-Means-No, in response to his sexual harassment suit. He’s quickly ganged up on by her and Sideshow Mel, and tries to defend himself (“It wasn’t my fault, it was the Percodan. If you ask me, that stuff rots your brain. And now a word from our new sponsor… Percodan?! Aw, crap!”)
– Bart claims he’s all set for his history test. Marge tests him (“Who was George Washington Carver?” “Umm… the guy who chopped up George Washington?”)
– I like how abjectly cruel Krabappel is toward Bart here (partially warranted thanks to the many pranks he’s pulled), bringing his attention to the school charter (“”No teacher shall be held accountable if Bart Simpson dies,”) and the great scene where she hums and buffs her nails for an extended period before letting Bart be excused.
– Second appearance of Lunchlady Doris as nurse, who can only offer Bart chewable Prozac for kids, either Manic Depressive Mouse, or the Bluebird of Unhappiness. I also love the animated bit where an unconscious Bart is motionless, save a single leg twitch.
– Quick, classic scene of Willie teaching French. His line “Bonjoooooouur, yah cheese-eating surrender monkeys!” strangely got new life at the advent of the Iraq War when France opposed America’s military efforts. It’s even got its own Wikipedia page, for God’s sake.
– I love love love Bart’s mooning bit (“Hello, I’m Dr. Cheeks. I’m doing my rounds, and, uh, I’m a little behind”) and the timing of it as the act break.
– Hibbert seems to have a lot of estranged relatives: first the orphanage director, now Bleeding Gums Murphy. I love how they both wax nostalgic about their brothers who match each other’s descriptions perfectly… and nothing comes of it.
– More great timing with Blind Willie Witherspoon, who after thirty years of a stalled jazz career, gives Murphy his old saxophone… which is actually an umbrella. Willie asks why no one told him, Murphy says they all thought it was funny, and laughs. Quick beat. Unamused, Willie responds, “That’s not funny.”
– Brilliant performance by Dan Castellaneta as Bill Cosby in an episode of The Cosby Show guest-starring Murphy (“You see, the kids, they listen to the rap music which gives them the brain damage. With their hippin’, and the hoppin’, and the bippin’, and the boppin’, so they don’t know what the jazz… is all about! You see, jazz is like the Jello Pudding Pop… no, actually, it’s more like Kodak film… no, actually, jazz is like the New Coke: it’ll be around forever, heh heh heh.”)
– Krusty really is a corrupt businessman; at a press conference, he contends “those tourists were decapitated before they entered the KrustyLand House of Knives.” Also, why the hell would a jagged piece of metal be a cereal box prize, unwrapped, inside the box of cereal? It’s the dumbest thing ever, but we get the great scene where Krusty stumbles and writhes in pain after eating what he’s later told is just a regular Krusty-O (“It’s poison…”)
– I like how Murphy gives Lisa his saxophone, like he knows he doesn’t have much time left and bestows his prized possession to someone he knows will use it well.
– We have another unflinching, uncaring Springfield mob who’s quick to violently boo the performance of three eight-year-olds five seconds into their musical performance (even Grampa yells, “This sucks!”) Of course the crowd quickly turns to cheers when Lisa does a great solo piece.
– More great advice from Homer: get a tattoo to preserve the memory of a loved one. He then notices his own and is less than pleased (“Starland Vocal Band? They suck!!”)
– Great bit with Hans Moleman as the K-JAZZ morning man (“Hello. This is Moleman in the morning. Good Moleman to you. Today, part four of our series of the agonizing pain in which I live every daaaaaayy.”)
– Nice bit with Comic Book Guy who is quick to raise the price on Murphy’s record upon hearing of his death. I also like his immediate suggestion on how to blow Bart’s money: the Ultimate POG! Complete with Steve Allen’s face on it. Not only the most worthless purchase one could make, but a nice call-back to the previous scene with Allen.
– The humorous bits in the end scene weave themselves in and don’t feel intrusive. Murphy appearing in the clouds apes off of The Lion King, so we see Mufasa pop up (“You must avenge my death, Kimba… I mean, Simba,” a great reference to the Kimba the White Lion controversy,) then Darth Vader, then James Earl Jones himself as the CNN announcer. Murphy tells the others to get lost. Then we have “Jazzman” over the credits, a great way to end, with a great final joke (“One more time!” “Oh, come on, Lisa! I got a date with Billie Holiday!”)

124. The PTA Disbands

~ Mike! ~ 17 Comments

(originally aired April 16, 1995)
It’s interesting to see how well the social commentary of these episodes has held up after all these years. And by interesting, I mean frightening. Though exaggerated to comic effect, Springfield Elementary still looks like your typical underfunded school with its long outdated textbooks and poor cafeteria options (“There’s very little meat in these gym mats.”) Even the typically apathetic Mrs. Krabappel has had enough, following a particularly disastrous (and hilarious) field trip on a pitiful shoestring budget. So the inevitable happens: the teachers go on strike, leaving the kids to fend for themselves. This is another one of those freeform episodes that’s pretty loose on plot, with the second act largely focused on Bart and Lisa. Bart, of course, couldn’t be more thrilled to be free, spending his days pulling pranks about the town. More interesting is Lisa, who without a structured learning environment begins to unravel at the seams.

With no reconciliation between Skinner and the teachers in sight, PTA head Ned Flanders proposes townspeople fill the roles as substitutes, which gives us many classic moments from Professor Frink teaching complex equations to preschoolers utilizing a children’s toy (“No, you can’t play with it; you won’t enjoy it on as many levels as I do!”), Moe’s self-consciousness about his “big ears,” of all things, and of course Jasper (“Talking out of turn… that’s a paddlin’. Looking out the window… that’s a paddlin’. Staring at my sandals… that’s a paddlin’. Paddling the school canoe… ooh, you better believe that’s a paddlin’.”) Bart runs all the teachers out of class until he meets his match: his mother. This reveal is at the second act break, but there’s not really much further this story could have gone. It really serves as the final straw for Bart of all people wanting Skinner and Krabappel to reconcile.

The very ending feels like a last ditch effort, like the writers sat around a table for hours and hours trying to come up with a suitable ending, and this is what they landed on: the school gets extra revenue by co-oping with the local prison. It’s kind of amusing… I guess, but feels like a kind of bizarre and out-of-left-field conclusion to the story. I dunno, just didn’t gel for me. This episode feels pretty thin, but it’s got plenty of great bits and laughs to keep it going the whole way through. …hmm. I appear to have ended early. Look at that.

Tidbits and Quotes
– I like the fake-out where we see the fate of the old bus, which is even more dilapidated than the current one, propped up on cider blocks resting in the school parking lot. A single leaf begins to fall, seemingly to knock it off the blocks and topple over or something. Instead, it immediately bursts into flames upon impact. Like entirely engulfed in flames. And another great fake-out with the tour guide talking about the old war cannon being very sensitive as the bus with no brakes careens over and taps it… and nothing happens (“Of course, for safety reasons, we don’t keep the cannon loaded. It’s just common sense.”)
– I love the well-funded school from Shelbyville and its chrome, double-decker bus, and the debonair Principal Valiant, whom Skinner resents (“He thinks he’s so hot ever since he swept the Princy Awards. Those things are rigged.”)
– Great line from Otto, who’s stuck manually siphoning gas for the bus (“Damn! I shouldn’t have eaten the mint first.”) The students barely make their escape, save Uter, who is beaten mercilessly by Civil War re-enactors. Skinner isn’t too dismayed (“God bless the man who invented permission slips.”)
– Great moment where Skinner loudly tells Krabappel the children have no futures in the crowded cafeteria. When a deafening silence results, Skinner attempts to cover himself (“Prove me wrong, kids! Prove me wrong!”)
– The (almost) act break with the little girl stuck on the gymnasium rings is fantastic. Having seen this one many times in syndication, that’s when it usually ends. How surprised I was seeing it on DVD there’s another scene where the music class can now play the forbidden music: “Pop Goes the Weasel.” …yeah, not the most devastating syndication cut.
– Great bit with Bart messing around with workers at a construction site, then revealed they only obeyed because the foreman strangely has the exact same voice (“Hey! Can’t you tell my voice from a ten-year-old kid’s? Aye carumba!”)
– Classic Homer line in response to the strike (“If you don’t like your job, you don’t strike: you just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way.”)
– Lisa starts to crack (“Relax? I can’t relax! Nor can I yield, relent, or… only two synonyms? Oh my God, I’m losing my perspicacity!”) She runs off screaming, and Homer observes, “It’s always the last place you look.”)
– The teacher strike signs are hilarious (“A is for apple, B is for raise”) Hoover’s is more blunt (“Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!”) and I also like how cold she is toward Lisa (“Get away from me.”) Bart attempts to prolong the strike, passing on a message via telephone, which hilariously gets through perfectly with one small addition (“Skinner said the teachers will crack any minute purple monkey dishwasher.”) Krabappel responds in kind (“Well! We’ll show him, especially for that ‘purple monkey dishwasher’ remark.”)
– My favorite scene in the episode is probably Bart wrecking havoc at the bank, spreading rumor that they only have money for the next three customers. A Jimmy Stewart-type bank manager attempts to calm the crowd by passing the buck (“I don’t have your money here. It’s at Bill’s house! Or at Fred’s house!”) An angry Moe turns to the guy next to him and yells, “What the hell you doing with my money in your house, Fred?!” and punches him out. A fight ensues, and Bart is pleased.
– Homer displays some of his fleeting moments of intelligence being baffled by Lisa’s perpetual motion machine. He calls Lisa in to chastise her (“In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!”)
– Great scene of ad-libbing actors as Krabappel and Skinner go back and forth to sway over the crowd of parents: the well-being of their children vs. taxes. Eventually it’s reduced to Krabappel’s “C’mon!” and Skinner rubbing his fingers together, resulting in a great ad-lib from Dan Castellaneta (“The finger thing means the taxes!”)
– Second and last appearance from Leopold, who basically serves the exact same purpose as he did in “Sweet Seymour Skinner’s Baadassss Song.”
– I love how Bart’s “prank” of rigging a gigantic wooden pole to swing forth at the substitute is both preposterous in that no one noticed it set up above the classroom, and it seemingly would have crushed the skull and killed whoever was sitting at the teacher’s desk.
– Marge is exhausted after her first day teaching (“It took the children forty minutes to locate Canada on the map.”) Homer responds, “Marge, anyone can miss Canada, all tucked away down there.”

123. Two Dozen and One Greyhounds

~ Mike! ~ 6 Comments

(originally aired April 9, 1995)
This is another one of those episodes I’m finding it hard to analyze, because it’s another of those “a bunch of stuff that happened” shows. No consistent theme or message, just good, crazy Simpsons fun. The clean, wholesome fun begins with the family dog eager to get his hump on, and he manages to do so escaping back to the dog track, mating with a female dog mid-race. And that’s just the first act! It’s a nice nod to the first episode that Santa’s Little Helper’s new lady, She’s the Fastest, took his “No. 8” title at the track. Rampant doggie sex leads to the inevitable: She’s gets pregnant, and has a litter of twenty-five little puppies. The greatest stuff here is, as is the case with similar depictions in the past, the animal behavior is all very realistic. The very conceit is animalistic in itself: these two dogs are in heat and just need to screw. I also love the look of the puppies, who when first born can barely open their eyes and are very docile, and their dumb little expressions as the episode goes on makes them very adorable.

Living with two dozen and one little mongrels takes its toll on the family, leaving them with having to make the hard decision to give them away. But no one seems to be willing to take up so many pups… except Mr. Burns, who of course has an evil scheme: slay them to make a furry tuxedo for himself. Rather monstrous of him, making his character completely unlikable and irredeemable, yes? Not unless he’s got a catchy song to go with it. “See My Vest” has got to be in the top 3 songs of the whole series, such a rousing, upbeat number to contrast the horrific animal abuse theme. They say you can make your villain likable if he’s an affable showman, and boy does Burns go all out in this number. That and a lot of it is just silly (“Try my red robin suit, it comes one breast or two!”) Also, this show seems to have a Disney reference trifecta. “See My Vest” is obviously a riff on “Be Our Guest” from Beauty & The Beast. We have the great Lady & The Tramp reference where rather than pull away bashfully when the two dogs meet for a kiss with spaghetti, they viciously fight over it. Then the main thrust of the story is pure One Hundred and One Dalmatians, along with other references like the puppies in front of the TV.

The final showdown between Burns and Bart and Lisa is pretty insane. I really don’t know what to make of it. We set up that Burns has grown a liking to one particular puppy who can stand on its hind legs (a regular Rory Calhoun), so Bart saves the dogs by manipulating them all to stand up. It feels so obvious and contrived, but it’s saved by Burns’s dialogue blatantly stating the fact that it’s so obvious (“This can’t be happening! They’re all standing. I can’t tell them apart!”) Then he decides he’s just going to kill them all, which he pulls back from doing. Then he decides he’s going to kill the children, which he also pulls back from. All of this is so stupid, but I feel like it’s so self-aware so it’s funny. And then the very ending is the biggest, greatest cheat in the entire series, where it looks like Homer’s hung himself, but of course, he hasn’t (“Marge, you know that batting this lightbulb is the only thing that cheers me up after giving away those million-dollar greyhounds!”) It’s a dumb ending to a dumb, lovable show.

Tidbits and Quotes
– The bit where Bart and Lisa play ball with SLH to try and tire him out is really cute, the two kids playfully taunting the dog, then the time lapses of the two getting increasingly exhausted when the dog has lost no energy.
– SLH wrecks havoc in the backyard, ripping up underground wires. Homer is aghast (“Oh my God! He’s got the precious cable TV cable!”) The aerial shot of the dog running down the block with the straight lines of the cable ripping out of each house is extremely well animated. The Wiggums are in bed when the TV goes out (“Your cable TV is experiencing difficulties. Please, do not panic. Resist the temptation to read or talk to loved ones. Do not attempt sexual relations, as years of TV radiation have left your genitals withered and useless.”) Clancy looks under the covers and confirms this.
– I love the bit with the pet shop clerk and his “mind-meld” (“It’s an incredibly rare psychic power possessed only by me and three other clerks at this store.”)
– Great names on the other dogs at the track: She’s the Fastest leads, followed by Always Comes in Second and I’m Number Three.
– Brilliant staging on how SLH chases after Fastest… then raises up in frame a bit… and is in prime humping position. Homer clarifies the situation (“So that’s what’s been wrong with the little fellow: he misses casual sex.”)
– I like Bart seizing the opportunity to properly use the word “bitch,” kind of like him continually saying “hell” out of Sunday School. When he defends that it’s the proper terminology for a female dog, Marge retorts, “Well, I’m going to write the dictionary people and have that checked. Feels like a mistake to me.”
– Great fake-out after twenty-four puppies are born, we get a long time lapse until finally… a twenty-fifth is born. And great timing with placing the last puppy in an oven mitt attached to the fridge by magnet, which slowly falls to the floor.
– There are a few funny bits with Snowball II, first at the start of the second act where it can’t believe its eyes and bats the catnip away. Then later the family is enamored by one of the puppies pawing at the TV, but not so much when Snowball does it (“Get that cat out of the way!!“)
– Hilarious sequence with the puppies continually eating Homer’s chips. I could watch that on loop all day.
– The sitcom riff sequence of the very important people coming to dinner which gets sabotaged is pretty good, but it almost feels like too much. I do love Lovejoy’s outro line though (“See you in hell! ….from heaven.”)
– As shoddy as it is, I love the questionable staging at the second act break. Homer, Marge and Lisa are clearly standing right next to the box of puppies, then next shot they’re a considerable distance facing the house as Burns puts them all in a sack. Makes no sense, but that’s kind of the point.
– I love how Wiggum is beyond incompetent on finding the puppies. He peeks under a napkin and inside the blender (“I’m sorry, kids, I don’t think we’re ever going to find your greyhounds. Maybe Mr. Burns will sell you one of the twenty-five he got last night.”)
– Great bit with the eternally turning door knob, which eventually just turns all the way around to build the suspense.
– I like how Burns’s taunt (“Here’s a phone. Call someone who cares!”) backfires immediately when Lisa dials 911, so he yanks the phone out of her hand.