Original airdate: March 5, 2023
The premise: Exhausted by another of Bart’s pranks at school, Homer and Marge envision a world where they never had Bart, as a happy, successful family of four. All that changes when they run until a mischievous little orphan (Bart), who turns their world upside down.
The reaction: Bart has always been the trickiest Simpson to write over the last decade or two. You can push him too far as an impulsive, reckless and annoying kid, or you can make him too sympathetic that it feels out-of-character. This episode kind of dabbles in both camps, as Homer and Marge examine their relationship to Bart, knowing they love him, but why don’t they “like” him? The two go into an absolute rage when they hear Bart defaced a couple dozen books, which feels extreme considering this must be on the low-end of his shenanigans in terms of monetary damage. I get that they’re at the end of their ropes, but it still felt weird. Later, they find out more information: during a “big kids read to little kids” class, Bart drew in the picture books to make the stories more fun, resulting in the little ones fostering a love of reading. The preschool teacher is in tears when she meets Homer and Marge (“May I hug the people who created Bart?”) This throws the two into a loop, wondering why they can’t see in Bart what other people can, being tainted by ten years of dealing with his hijinks at home. Already, the set-up is pretty flimsy, as this “prank” is so morally gray, as opposed to almost all of Bart’s other thirty-plus years of pranks of just him being a little shit fucking with everyone. I guess this premise could be talking in a broader sense, of all parents hearing stories of their kids that conflict with their own experiences, but when put into this specific context with Bart, it just isn’t clicking from the start. Then we go into a fantasy sequence to a world where Bart was never born, where the remaining Simpsons are living wonderful lives in a big house with successful jobs… yawn. So this supposes that the two years between Bart and Lisa being born, Homer and Marge randomly got their shit together and became incredibly successful. It’s kind of weird that Marge being chief of medicine at a vet clinic and Homer working as a stadium scoreboard operator is enough to afford a beautiful mountainside home below the Springfield sign, but whatever. All is great until they run upon a little kid in the road, who’s revealed to be Bart, who has no memory of where he’s from, so Homer and Marge decide to take him in. Bart, of course, causes mischief and destruction in the house, which rightfully pisses Homer and Marge off, who do nothing but grumble to themselves as Bart does whatever he wants. But then Bart rubs off on them, sort of. He helps Homer at work by pushing more buttons than he does, and Marge learns to be more assertive at work thanks to “Eat my shorts”? This all culminates in Bart drawing in Maggie’s picture book, just like he did at the start of the episode, but this reality’s Homer and Marge immediately see the good in his actions. I’m sorry, but this inciting incident just cannot hold up this episode. I’m struggling to think of any past pranks of Bart’s that had good intentions behind it, and this episode is supposing that all of Bart’s rambunctious behavior is like this? Or just some of it is and that makes up for the other shit like him slingshotting dirty diapers out the window and breaking multiple beds? I just don’t get what the fuck this episode is saying. I guess always think the best of your kid… at least at first before you learn that he actually flooded the gymnasium, filled the school groundskeeper’s shack with creamed corn, or blew up the principal’s mother with a cherry bomb just for kicks.
Three items of note:
– Two weeks ago, I joked that Bart’s new teacher would make her grand reappearance years from now, but now I have to eat my words because here she is. It’s a brief scene, but Ms. Peyton makes her long-awaited second appearance! Oh boy! She explains how what Bart did was actually good because he’s such a great kid! (“Bart was just trying to help his younger peers engage with their reading interactively! Make it fun!”) I can’t wait for Ms. Peyton to help guide Bart on the straight and narrow, that’ll make for some great comedy. Last episode I was reading her character as sort of like Parks and Rec‘s Leslie Knope, but it feels like a clearer parallels is the main character from Abbott Elementary, another optimistic and well-meaning elementary school teacher. I guess if you can’t think of an interesting new character to replace one of your deceased legacies, just crib ideas off somebody else.
– Marge works at a veterinary hospital, and the nurse breathlessly tells Marge about hot interoffice romance gossip rather than anything actually medical, so yeah, they’re joking about shows like Grey’s Anatomy. We see in the exterior shot, the hospital is called St. Shondaland, so the joke was already teed up. But then not only do we get this joke repeated a few more times, it becomes the crux of Marge’s “arc,” where she regains control of her staff by standing her ground and taking charge, just like Bart (???) It’s just lame. As a one-off joke, I’d be fine with that, but to make it a whole running thing… Grey’s Anatomy has been on the air almost twenty years, what an ice cold subject to ridicule at this point.
– Early in the fantasy world, we see Skinner enter the bar with Miss Springfield, showing how wonderful his life is without having to deal with Bart (“What’s your secret, Skin-Man?” “Stimulating job at a school full with obedient children without one troublemaker in the bunch!”) So this just ignores the existence of Nelson and the other bullies then?
Me Blog Write Good 
“So this just ignores the existence of Nelson and the other bullies then?”
If I had to guess, they probably meant that Nelson and the bullies were either also well-adjusted themselves, or simply never attended. The problem though is that whenever the show (or any of the other Fox sitcoms, for that matter) says something like this, there’s never any follow-through; so that just leaves the audience guessing.
I mean, if it’s an Al Jean episode, they always ignore critical details out of sheer laziness, and if its a Matt Selman episode, they’re going to assume the audience has already done the legwork for them.
Or… We’re just looking at everything from Homer and Marge’s perspective, and what do you think would be a world without your son perhaps? Idk, it’s not like they know Skinner’s history with bullies either, adding that they know more about their son’s history with Skinner because he’s the one they usually go to every time their son gets into trouble.
You know, I will say that I appreciate the effort that seems to go into high concept episodes like this. It’s better than the majority of the HD season output. The problems always lie in the execution, which unfortunately is the most important part of … well, anything.
Sorry, but fuck this episode.
Now I’m off to rewatch Bart sabotaging Skinner’s weather balloon and causing town-wide damage with his chain of megaphones.
Why am I reminded of “It’s a Wishful Life” from The Fairly OddParents?
It’s better than that episode and the most positive I’ve been about a Selman episode since Brick Like Me… But nowhere close to being the amazing 5/5 masterpiece most will claim it is and I’d honestly take the aforementioned episode over this.
For some reason, this reminds me of the Dallas finale where JR has “It’s a Wonderful Life” moment but it turns out it was a demon and everyone would be happier if he never existed so he kills himself.
I never watched Dallas.
Doesn’t he shoot his mirror rather than himself? He’s alive at the start of the revival series.
This was probably the most positive I’ve been about a Selman episode since Brick Like Me (though I’d take that episode over this), but unlike most other people I don’t view this as an amazing 5/5 masterpiece or a continued sign of the show actually being good again but instead the show getting lucky and being able to produce something worthwhile every four or five episodes (same goes for the FG episode that aired the same night).
The episode’s biggest problem is the first act which honestly felt like it was written last. Yes obviously there needed to be an incident to elict Homer & Marge’s response to setup the episode. But it honestly felt like they struggled to come up with a prank severe enough to justify their response which in the end comes off as harsh and a very hard pill to swallow. True, Bart defaced 25 books which would probably cost a fortune to replace, but it’s implied that they’re gonna be left as is so it again makes Homer & Marge’s response to what might ultimately be a non-issue a very bitter pill to swallow. Maybe if his prank had resulted in something like property damage, then maybe that would justify the Homer & Marge’s harshness.
Nobody said it was? I don’t even think I’ve ever heard people call it a “masterpiece.”
People liked it, but that doesn’t mean it was a masterpiece something I never saw anyone say, so I don’t know where the hell you got that from.
Do you read the R&Rs on Nohomers? Some people over there are treating it like that.
Hey John,
Not sure I’ve seen anyone call it a ‘masterpiece’. Even those on NoHomers who rated it a 5 (myself included) haven’t used such language. Personally, I think the episode succeeded at what it set out to do and I had very, very few issues during my initial viewing. That could always change in the future, of course.
The way some of them word it comes off as them saying it’s a masterpiece even if they don’t actually use that word.
“I think the episode succeeded at what it set out to do and I had very, very few issues during my initial viewing. That could always change in the future, of course.”
I’ve already since lowered by score by taking away the extra .5 I initially gave it and making it a three because I’ve since looked back on it further because the initial setup is flawed even as I was first watching.
Who is it? Precisely I mean that place and no, most had just said that it was a solid episode and it had exceeded their expectations. I don’t know what other publication you saw to have reached that conclusion, perhaps your imagination?
While they might not use that word, the way they praise it says that they treat it like a masterpiece.
Well, that doesn’t make a damn sense. “The way they praise him” and I ask you again, are you sure you’re not projecting your own thoughts?
As in, they say it’s like a masterpiece even if they never actually use that word.
And if you continue to insist that nothing I say makes any fucking sense, then please don’t respond because this is getting tiring!
Mike, I think you have spectacularly missed the point of this episode. It is, first and foremost, a celebration of Bart – a lovely affirmation of his spontaneity, his mischievousness, and his non-conformity.
The series has shown, on many occasions, how his rambunctious personality has caused disruptions and problems for the people around him – his parents, sister, friends, teachers, principal, and more. There have also been many episodes that have examined how, beneath his proclivity for mischief and mayhem, Bart is an intelligent and kind-hearted boy whose actions stem from feelings of frustration and inadequacy. It would not be easy being a 10 year-old neuro-divergent kid in a school that has never understood let alone accommodated his differences. Not to mention being bullied by older kids and feeling inferior to his younger sister.
‘Bartless’ does something different and more subversive – it suggests that the very things that make Bart a nuisance aren’t fundamentally negative or transgressive. His energetic, disorderly and impulsive qualities are, in fact, crucial to the composition of his family without which their lives would be far less exciting or uninhibited. What’s more, when channelled properly, this can have a positive influence on others around him. That’s such a beautifully affirmative thing to say about the character and it might be the first time the series has ever done so.
“I’m struggling to think of any past pranks of Bart that had good intentions behind it, and this episode is supposing that all of Bart’s rambunctious behavior is like this?”
How have you come to this conclusion? This is a massive leap and I don’t think the episode is saying this at all. Clearly, Homer, Marge and others have struggled to control, discipline, and educate Bart. He regularly acts in ways that are disruptive, causing a lot of headaches. The episode doesn’t argue otherwise. It merely looks at it from another perspective.
“So this supposes that the two years between Bart and Lisa being born, Homer and Marge randomly got their shit together and became incredibly successful.”
It’s a dream sequence, remember? This actually doesn’t need to make perfect sense – we’re just getting a look into Homer and Marge’s shared psyche. Bart himself was a spontaneous and unplanned accident, throwing everything through a loop that has shaped the rest of their adult lives. Can you not see how, from their perspective, they might wonder how different things could have been had Bart never been born? Had they planned ahead? Can you not see how this might speak to anxieties and regrets many parents might have?
“So this just ignores the existence of Nelson and the other bullies then?”
You keep forgetting it’s a dream sequence and not some actual alternate timeline.
I intellectually understand what the episode was going for, it just didn’t pull it off in my eyes. Saying that Bart makes the family’s life more exciting and uninhibited doesn’t make much sense to me when Homer has filled that role more often than Bart. Or did Bart bring that out of his father? And because of Bart, Marge has greater confidence? What? The only bit that I felt worked by Bart showing Lisa Itchy & Scratchy, but at that point, the episode was doing its victory lap for a win that felt unearned to me. I guess the conclusion is accepting to take the bad with the good? That Bart’s destructive behavior is a price to pay for the good intentions that he might have sometimes? I just couldn’t follow. A lot of the time, Bart’s just a shit trying to fuck with authority, which is its own subject worthy of examination, but that’s not what the episode was about.
Also, I get that it’s dream sequence logic, but in that case, why do we have a cutaway scene with Skinner getting pelted in the face with the diaper. Homer imagined seeing Skinner at Moe’s, so I guess he figured he’d need to do a payoff gag with him later. Maybe he read the script. If they really wanted this section to really feel like a personal, subjective dream, they should have pushed it further in that direction. I think they made Bart feel extra out of control in the middle section to make it feel more exaggerated from Homer and Marge’s perspectives, but we’ve seen Bart pull that kind of crazy shit in normal episodes, so it didn’t play that way.
“A lot of the time, Bart’s just a shit trying to fuck with authority”.
I think part of the difficulty for you might be the baggage you’re bringing to your reading of the episode. Sure, Bart has been a shit in the past (even a sociopath in the show’s later years), but ‘Bartless’ is more about examining Bart’s broad characteristics and reputation in relation to his family and particularly his parents’ skewed perspective of him without really dwelling on specific incidents over 30+ years. It’s deliberately abstract.
“Homer has filled that role more often than Bart.”
True but, again, that’s bringing your memories of specific episodes (many of them post-classic) and the events depicted therein into this episode which is more self-contained.
“Also, I get that it’s dream sequence logic, but in that case, why do we have a cutaway scene with Skinner getting pelted in the face with the diaper.”
Dreams are weird man. I constantly have dreams wherein my perspective changes.
Everyone brings their own “baggage,” or I’d call it unique perspective, when they’re watching something. I’m fine with this episode trying to function more broadly, but it’s hard to ignore 700+ episodes that run in slight conflict with what it’s trying to do, especially when it concerns Homer and Bart’s core characters. But hey, it’s working for some people, so they clearly are seeing things differently than I am.
“Everyone brings their own “baggage,” or I’d call it unique perspective, when they’re watching something.”
That’s fair and you’re right. I’ve seen every episode of The Simpson so, of course, I bring my knowledge and memories of those with me. This is such a profoundly weird show to talk about just because it’s so completely incomprehensible. It’s been on for so long and the characters have accumulated so many adventures in a floating timeline. How does one make any sense of that? Some can and some can’t, I suppose.
lol, he drew in some books. This show is so watered down from anything exaggerated or entertaining. Member when he flooded the gymnasium? Got Milhouse in trouble with the FBI? Psychologically destroyed all the substitute teachers?
That could’ve worked liked that South Park scene, where the boys are complaining that Cartman has gone too far this time, and he just ate the skins off some chicken.
But they played it straight? Homer and Marge were at their wits end because Bart drew in some books?
Damn this show sucks.
Yeah, episodes like this are ones that are only really good the first time you watch as it doesn’t hold up as much the more you look back.
Like, the instigating incident at the start was already a hard pill to swallow because they’re blowing up at Bart over something that everyone else seems to view as a positive as if he destroyed their house… You know, like what he actually ends up doing during the fantasy and yet their response to that is kinda subdued.