Original airdate: October 4, 2020

The premise: Homer and Marge’s squabbling at a museum prompts a curator to regale them with the tale of the Roman Obeseus, an ambitious slave who rose to greater and greater stations in life at the urgings of his power hungry wife.

The reaction: The non-Treehouse of Horror trilogy episodes are always pretty dull to me, even the earliest examples like “Bibles Stories” and “Tall Tales.” I just don’t really care that much about seeing these characters in fantasy scenarios, and it especially grows tiresome when it’s the length of the entire episode. I felt the same way here as I did with the season premiere a few years back “The Serfsons,” where despite the extra amount of work by the animation team to create a new reality for one episode, I’m just left wondering what I’m supposed to get out of it. Who cares about Homer and Marge’s Roman analogues? The episode certainly didn’t make me care. The fantasy is prompted by Marge complaining about Homer not going to a training seminar at work, rightfully upset that he’s been stuck in the same job for a decade and wishing he had greater ambition to better financially care for his family. An eavesdropping museum curator relates their argument to the famous Roman Obeseus (Homer), a slave-turned-gladiator who ends up impregnating, later marrying his master’s daughter Marjora (Marge). Through the episode, Marge acts as the worm in Homer’s ear, getting him to expand his business, become senator by killing one to earn himself a seat, and later taking it upon herself to murder the emperor, only to place their son Bartigula (Bart) in his place after Homer balks at her power-hungry ways. Marge is basically playing the Lady MacBeth role, a woman using her husband to commit awful deeds to advance herself, a dynamic we’ve already seen over a decade ago in season 20’s “Four Great Women and a Manicure” where Marge urged Homer to kill all the other actors so he could take the lead in a “MacBeth” play. The twist in that segment was sort of fresh, but here it’s just played straight in a new setting, and it’s just boring, as we see Homer and Marge rise to a new status, Marge gets greedy, and then they rise again, repeat. Also, this is supposed to be a story reflecting modern day Homer and Marge’s disagreement, so Marge wishing Homer take his job more seriously for the sake of the family’s financial security is mirrored with Marjora manipulating and murdering people to seek the highest position of power in the country. In the end, the Simpson family squabble about the moral of the story, leaving the curator to lament with the final line, “When will humanity ever learn to stop letting stupid people into museums?” But honestly, what’s the point of these episodes? Do people really like them? They feel like such pointless exercises, especially in this case given they’re redoing a story they already did over ten years ago, and in a third of the time.

Three items of note:
– One of Obeseus’ slaves, Carl has a couple lines in the third act, but he’s performed by Hank Azaria. This episode is actually right before “Undercover Burns” in production order, so maybe that’s when they made the official change, and I guess they didn’t feel like paying Alex Désert to loop a few lines.
– When Obeseus’ family moves to the richer side of Rome, we are treated to a musical montage set to the theme from The Jeffersons sung in Latin, complete with on-screen lyrics. It took me a couple lines to even get what they were going for. The Jeffersons has been off the air for 35 years now, and we’re doing a reference to it now? But I feel like I always make the same point when talking about the show’s approach to pop culture parodies. I complain if the reference is too dated and irrelevant, but in the case of something like The Avengers or Succession, it’s still coming too late after the Internet or other media content with quicker production cycles have gotten in all of their jokes on the subject. But regardless of all of that, these jokes would still work if they were funny, and the majority of the time, they’re not. Of course, this is all subjective, but what’s the big joke here? That they rewrote the lyrics to the song in Latin? Are there other jokes in there that I’d have to translate the words to find out? Who cares?
– Bartigula’s ruthless reign as emperor contains obvious allegories to Donald Trump’s presidency, with him stoking xenophobia, putting up a wall, refusing to cede power and some pretty obvious on-the-nose dialogue (“He’s just an entitled little psycho! Society must come to its sense and overthrow this madman!”) I mean, it’s not like Trump is the first leader in history to do these sorts of things, to be fair, but it’s all very clear what they’re doing. It reminded me of those short digital Trump shorts they’ve been putting out over the last three years or so. I’ve only seen two of them, and they are maybe the worst content this show’s ever produced. In addition to being poorly animated, as I assume most if not all of their production is done stateside, it’s on the level of Saturday Night Live-grade putrid neoliberal “satire” where it’s all just the most simplistic, softball jabs at Trump that every other late night show or other venues have been beating to death. I’m sure there’ll be some kind of election-related cold open before whatever episode airs November 1st, and I can’t wait to cringe myself out of existence watching it.

1. Kamp Krusty

• Bart’s locker combination 36-24-36 is yet another entry on the long, long list of jokes that flew by me as a kid. Also, the design of his filthy locker is just wonderful. I feel like this is an unintentional callback, but you can see his science experiment potato from “Dead Putting Society” in there.
  
• “Here are your final report cards. I have nothing left to say to any of you, so if nobody minds, let’s just quietly run out the clock.”
• My first go-around writing this blog was right when I finished college, where up to that point, the concept of summer vacation as a student was still fresh in my head. Now, almost ten years later, as the idea of summer break becomes even more of a distant and wistful memory, the big countdown to the final bell letting school out feels so pure, truly capturing the absolute joy of those wonderful three months every year where you could just do absolutely fuck all as a kid.
• Krusty slapping his cheek in astonishment at the fat kid’s magic transformation always makes me laugh. The single cheek slap has been used to hysterical effect two other times I can recall, once in a Troy McClure infomercial, and the other from Patty & Selma (“Five cents off wax paper.”)
• We set up the “conflict” that Bart’s bad grades might keep him from Kamp Krusty, but I love that not only is that concern eliminated by Homer immediately by the end of act one, but we get it through not one, but two solid jokes (“Now Bart, we made this deal because I thought it would help you get good grades. And you didn’t. But why should you pay for my mistake?” “You mean I can go?” “Yeah. I didn’t want you hangin’ around all summer anyway.”) These days, even dialogue that moves the story along is filled with great, memorable lines.
• “Image Enhancement Camp” (“Spare me your euphemisms! It’s fat camp for Daddy’s chubby little secret!”)
• “Gentlemen, to evil.”
  
• “I feel like I’m gonna die, Bart.” “We’re all gonna die, Lis.” “I meant soon.” “So did I.” I love this exchange so much, and it’s a great example of dialogue I feel wouldn’t really fly with live-action sitcom kids.
• Krusty enjoying his strawberries at Wimbledon is another heavily memed frame in the shitposting community. It’s especially great when paired with Darryl Strawberry.
  
• “We want Krunchy! We want Krunchy!”
• It’s great that they gave Krusty three identifying marks on his body for the purposes of the ending, but outside of “Bart the Fink,” have they ever been mentioned ever again? Certainly not in the other instances we see Krusty shirtless. But whatever.
• Another great shot from the writers at FOX’s excessive merchandising of the show (“How could you, Krusty? I’d never lend my name to an inferior product.”)

2. A Streetcar Named Marge

• I love the dissonance of the beauty pageant contestants earnestly singing “Seventeen.” It actually bookends really nicely with the final song of the play, “You Can Always Depend on the Kindness of Strangers,” another upbeat number that humorously clashes with its context.
• One of the many times we see Bart and Lisa on the couch in the opening, we see them lying down kicking their legs back and forth against each other. This is another one of those incredibly sweet, human acting touches. They could have just been sitting there normally, but someone decided to have them doing this, and considering they’re little kids who’ve been watching a beauty pageant for a few hours, it makes perfect sense they’d be a little restless on the couch.
  
• Llewellyn Sinclair is my favorite Jon Lovitz performance in the series, hands down. His bravado, his heightened sense of passion and importance laid upon this community play of a ridiculous musical performed by complete amateurs, Sinclair gives his absolute all, as does Lovitz to this boisterous and forceful character. Almost all of his lines are so memorable (“Mrs. Simpson, if you set out to push the bile to the tip of my throat, mission accomplished!”) And that wardrobe!
  
• It’s never addressed, but it’s a great touch that we see several bullet wounds in Apu’s chest when he’s shirtless.
• The scene of Homer asking Marge in bed about coming to the play is the quintessential example of writing Homer callously insensitive, but still genuine. He’s pretty rude to Marge through the whole episode, which of course is the point, but his actions are always born out of either obliviousness or stupidity (or oftentimes both). He openly admits he’s never had an interest in any of Marge’s “kooky projects” (“The painting class, the first aid course, the whole Lamaze thing…”), but when pressed as to why he never told her that, he earnestly replies, “You know I’d never say anything to hurt your feelings.” It’s a tremendous line, but it also perfectly exemplifies Homer: he doesn’t know what he’s saying and doing is hurtful, and it’s incredibly clear to the audience that we know that. Later characterizations of Homer would depict him being too self-aware of the irritation or hurt his actions cause his wife and kids, despite continuing to do them anyway, and the tone would be much more sour and harder to swallow.
• Ayn Rand’s School for Tots is a great set piece (the sign “Helping is Futile” is a particularly brilliant touch.) Watching Maggie’s great pacifier liberation made me think back to the “Longest Daycare” short that took place in the same location, and to a lesser extent, the more recent “Playdate with Destiny.” All three are extended nonverbal stories featuring Maggie, but within this episode, it’s an enjoyable little side story that doesn’t overstay its welcome, is filled with good jokes and actually feels like it’s about something important. As silly as it may be, the babies recovering their confiscated pacifiers as a story definitely holds more narrative weight than Maggie saving a caterpillar or her little playground romance or whatever. Those theatrical shorts are just so treacly and empty-feeling, especially “Playdate.”
• Herman is inexplicably in the chorus of the musical, and it’s a great touch that in the opening number, at one point as the cast is gesturing to the audience with their right hands, we see Herman perfectly mimic them, just with no arm to do it with.
• “Oh, Streetcar!” is fucking brilliant. I’m sure I gushed about it enough in my initial review, but I just love it so much. The Planet of the Apes musical is a close second, but “Streetcar” has more songs, the added charm of seeing our favorite Springfielders act and sing their hearts out, and the added narrative dissonance of making a bright and peppy musical out of such a dark story, most evident in the final number, which is just so, so, soooo goddamn good.

3. Homer the Heretic

• I love the gleeful enthusiasm Homer gets out of being able to freely swear in the house (“You bet your sweet… ass!”)
• The animation in this episode is really outstanding. Even from the start, there were so many great moments that felt like they had extra care put into them, and the way the characters moved and reacted seemed even more pronounced than usual. Homer assembling his special “moon waffles” is a particularly lovely piece of animation.
  
• Homer mispronouncing “These Things I Believe” as “This” when he’s looking right at the record jacket is so great, as is Bill’s hushed, “Can we accept that?” before awarding him the winner.
• The “Stand By” card for the Public Affairs show might be the best one of the entire series.
  
• I love that act two starts with Marge attempting to scrape the remnants of Homer’s indulgent breakfast off the waffle iron. These little callbacks are great because they make the world feel more tangible, where a character’s actions feel more “real” because we see the outcome. It also adds an extra layer of frustration on top of Marge’s already frazzled state at her husband rejecting his faith. And on top of that, it shows the downside to Homer’s newfound hedonism, that it’s all fun and games until someone has to clean up the mess afterwards. All of this communicated by the first five seconds of act two.
• “And what if we picked the wrong religion? Every week, we’re just making God madder and madder!” I feel like this line was one of the early instigators of my future agnosticism.
• God having five fingers was a touch I always enjoyed as a kid, but what are the implications of this? If He made the Simpsons in His own image, why would he leave off a finger? Or is this God actually the real God, visiting his animated creations? But then why would he be yellow? Of course, then we have to remember that this is just God as represented in Homer’s dream, which only raises further questions about his appearance. It’s just interesting to think about. I also love that Harry Shearer voices both God and Satan. And Hitler.
• I’ve always loved that the thing that cinches Homer’s rejection of faith after Marge pleads with him for one last time is “Coming up next: make your own ladder.” The most banal thing ever that Homer should have next to no interest in.
• I don’t know if I ever really processed that the Kwik-E-Mart “employee lounge” Apu refers to is just a dingy old closet. I guess I was always focused on Homer reacting to Ganeesha and didn’t really register that as a joke. Is that just me? Another example of how jam-packed these scripts were back then, without ever feeling bloated.
• I previously gushed about how pretty the fire in “Flaming Moe’s” looked, and the third act with the Simpson house on fire just turns that up to eleven. The whole episode looks amazing, but the ending is really gorgeous. Ned saving Homer from the ravaging flames is actually pretty intense given how amazing everything looks. But the best moment, of course, is Homer being shoved off the second story and bouncing back through the window. The gag is executed just perfectly, and I loved Ned’s “Okay…” In one word, Harry Shearer perfectly communicates his discouragement, but it’s clear he’s not giving up.
  
• My one criticism of the episode is that after Homer is saved from the burning house, we don’t really need the four or five joke moments with the firefighters, the insurance agent, Kent Brockman and such. We already had the emotional climax of Homer’s story, and then we have to go through a bunch of disconnected gags to get to the final resolution.

4. Lisa the Beauty Queen

• Skinner beating the snot out of vulturous Disney lawyers is another example of both how much better Skinner was when he had a spine, and of how truly bizarre it is this show is now streaming on Disney+. What once was mocking Disney’s brutal stranglehold on copyright law is now owned by that very company.
• I love that Milhouse is inexplicably wearing a scout’s uniform before he goes into Jimbo’s Spookhouse. I don’t know if it’s a remnant of a cut scene, but it makes him look even more naive and impressionable at the start, which strengthens the joke.
• “If I could gouge out somebody else’s eyes and shove them into my sockets I would, but to me, she’s beautiful!” This episode is another crowning example on how best to write Homer: entering Lisa into the beauty pageant is maybe the worst thing he could have done for her (and telling her he submitted the caricature with the application is like pouring salt into the wound), but Homer’s intentions are 100% genuine.
• Child beauty pageants really are perverse and bizarre. This episode felt really ahead of its time, given ensuing hit shows like Toddlers & Tiaras and Dance Moms.
• “Taping your swimsuit to your butt, petroleum jelly on your teeth for that frictionless smile, and the ancient art of padding.” Bart’s extensive knowledge of beauty pageants is a bit odd, but as a curious little boy starting to get interested in girls, I guess I’ll buy that he’s interested in watching pageants (he literally watched one two episodes ago.) His adeptness of walking in heels is another story…
• “My name is Lisa Simpson, and I want to be Li’l Miss Springfield so I can make our town a better place!” “Yeah! Clean up this stinkhole!”
• Introducing her dance act, Lisa talks about how some folks think being patriotic is uncool, “real Melvin.” What the hell is that expression? Google searching it, the first hit is someone asking the same question, referring to this episode, and then several different posts about guys named Melvin. Has anybody heard this saying? Anyway, I’ve always loved the frantic animation of Lisa dancing.
  
• Not just any show can make an eight-year-old girl getting struck by lightning funny, but this show finds a way (“Doctor, what is Amber’s condition?” “Oh, she’ll be fine. In fact, she already won the Little Miss Intensive Care pageant.”)
• “Love that chewing gum walk.” “Very Wrigley!” Bless these two little perverts.
  
• Tremendous poster design. I also never noticed that when Lisa looks out horrified at the crowd of smoking children holding cigarettes, there’s a pregnant woman smoking too. It goes by really quick, but I’m surprised they got away with that.
  
• Invigorated, Lisa pledges to use her newfound powers to expose society’s ills, from dog napping to cigarettes. Her example of dog napping always struck me as odd. Thinking of indiscretions that would be of interest to children, and not major enough that she could actually do something about, I guess it sort of makes sense.
• I feel I have the opposite issue with this ending as I did with “Homer the Heretic,” it wraps up too quickly. I could have gone for one or two more scenes of Lisa as Li’l Miss Springfield trying to make a difference before we get to Quimby desperately trying to silence her.

5. Treehouse of Horror III

• Now that we’re at our third Halloween special, the warning at the open feels appropriately snarky, like you should know what you’re getting yourselves into by now and we don’t care if you get upset by it. Swapping Marge for Homer feels like the right move (“You see, there are some cry babies out there, religious types mostly, who might be offended. If you are one of them, I advise you to turn off your set now.”)
• The famous “That’s good” ”That’s bad” back-and-forth always feels off to me just because the lip sync is all wrong, since the bit was clearly written after the animation was completed and they retrofit the shots as best they could to match. I can forgive when they do this for a one-off line, but for an entire exchange, it just looks too weird.
• The evil shopkeeper gives Homer the Krusty doll loose, but when he gifts it to Bart, we see that it’s in its original packaging! Boy, I hope somebody was fired for that blunder.
• “And in environmental news, scientists have announced that Springfield’s air is now only dangerous to children and the elderly.”
• “There goes the last lingering thread of my heterosexuality.” It’s hard hearing this line not thinking about Patty’s eventual reveal as a lesbian, but I think it functions a lot better considering we know her at this point to be non-romantic, with the line acting as a swearing off of men rather than her sexuality. I wonder if someone on staff in the 2000s recalled this line and was like, “Hey! I know who we can make gay!” I’d rather not remember that episode any further though…
• Ah, nothing beats getting a perfectly looping gif.
  
• “King Homer” is a really beautiful segment, with great visual cues taken from the classic film. Speaking of cues, Alf Clausen’s music is just lovely as well. There’s a lot of great animated moments, but my particular favorite is when King Homer busts out of his torso chain, with his huge belly bulging out to break the lock. It goes by so quick but feels so wonderfully cartoony.
  
• “Wow! Look at the size of that platform!” never fails to make me laugh.
• “He’s not dead!” “No, but his career is. I remember when Al Jolson ran amok at the Winter Garden and climbed the Chrysler building. After that, he couldn’t get arrested in this town.”
• “Find Waldo Yet Again.” I love the little kid standing and pointing at him. For some reason, he reminds me of a Life in Hell drawing.
  
• Great Easter eggs in the pet cemetery featuring headstones of the numerous primetime animated shows that tried to ape off the show’s early success, all failing within one year on the air (Capitol Critters, Fish Police, Family Dog). I’m sure they’re all awful, but I’d be curious to watch at least one episode of these shows one day. Family Dog was actually created by Brad Bird, who I imagine took this jab with good humor. The Wikipedia page for the show intrigues me more. Here’s one choice quote, “Delayed for years and panned by critics, the show has been called one of the biggest fiascos in television animation history, on both a creative and commercial level, in spite (but, in many ways, because of) the high-powered talent behind the project.”
• Mrs. Krabappel is oddly one of the first zombies shown in the crowd at the school, and the very first one that Homer shoots dead. I imagine Bart had no complaints.
• “Excuse me, I’m John Smith.” “John Smith, 1882?” “My mistake!”