Original airdate: March 28, 2010

The premise: In one last grand gesture to attempt to save Homer’s soul, Ned Flanders invites the Simpsons to join his Bible study group to Israel, only to have his patience continuously worn out by Homer’s ignorance and misguided blasphemy.

The reaction: I continue to be amazed how characterization keeps getting bastardized this season. This episode begins with Flanders being annoyed and exasperated by Homer’s antics, which carries on through basically the entire show. The always upbeat Ned, completely impervious to any negativity Homer throws his way, is pissed off right from the jump. I could buy it if he was worn down over time, like in “Homer Loves Flanders,” but here he goes from aggravated to extremely aggravated. When he finally snaps, Homer is hurt and worries about losing Ned’s friendship? What? He hates Flanders… right? The two make up in the end, because I guess in the series now they’re just old buddies, except we have him saying “Stupid Flanders” because that’s a thing he used to say when the show was watchable. Tied to all this is our usual travel show beats of visiting every famous landmark in Israel and making a stupid joke, with references to Jewish things, like latkes and yarmulkas. Bleh.

Three items of note:
– Sacha Baron Cohen voices the Israeli tour guide, a role completely bereft of jokes. He gets a lot of dialogue too, and multiple instances of him, for some reason, telling the tourists to shut up and pay attention. This happens at least three times, I guess they thought it was funny. Singer Yael Naim voices his niece, who gets a pointless montage of chasing and fighting Bart. I thought maybe this was going to be Bart’s new celebrity-voiced love interest, but no, it’s just time killer with no bearing of the story. Also, the chase is set to Run Lola Run music? Remember when you parodied that thirteen year old movie nine years ago?
– The Homer/Ned dynamic in this show is so weird. I guess this stems back to “Viva Ned Flanders,” where Homer would be this goofy guy who gets on this guy’s nerves. But at least there, Ned was still Ned, and not constantly being irritated. I feel it could have worked if they went from zero to sixty on it, rather than Ned telling Homer how much he pisses him off right at the start.
– The ending is so goddamn terrible. Homer the Messiah speaks upon Muslims, Christians and Jews, giving them the guidance to stop all their religious wars forever: celebrate your commonalities, and be good to each other. It’s like the episode where Bart resolves the Catholic/Christian debacle with words just as cliche and hackneyed. What? But this serves as our reconciliation where Ned can tear up that he finally “reached” Homer. Whatever.

One good line/moment: Not much to go on here. Homer playing with his kids on the slip and slide was pretty cute at the beginning. I like it whenever we see him being a fun dad.

Original airdate: March 21, 2010

The premise: When the school’s two fourth grade classes are joined, Bart meets Nikki, a spunky fellow skateboarder he develops a crush on. When he kisses her, she freaks out, causing her litigious parents to come down on the school, which institutes a strict “no touching” policy. Meanwhile, Lisa feels discouraged for being mocked for her overachieving nature, which is resolved from a random appearance by First Lady Michelle Obama.

The reaction: Another thin, confusing outing. It’s another Bart-gets-a-celebrity-girlfriend episode, but this one doesn’t seem to even want to bother to try. Sarah Silverman voices Nikki, who goes back and forth whether she likes Bart or not, for no other reason or joke other than them girls be craaaazzzy! As with other girls in the past, we barely know anything about her character, and once again we get twenty minutes of confused, whiny Bart, which seems to be a favorite of this season. As barebones as this feels, we get a B “plot,” which is really only three scenes. Lisa gets an “F” and is discouraged. Then she’s on the playground and kids inexplicably think she’s cool because of her failing grade, but it snaps right back to resentment when Miss Hoover confirms she actually did get an A. Then Michelle Obama appears for a three minute scene to give a speech about treating smart kids nicely with no jokes in it. At one time, the Simpsons were an unfortunate lot of losers. Things would never quite go their way, but they would always find a way to make peace with their lot in life and find some form of happiness. Now, if Lisa’s feeling down, the fucking First Lady appears out of nowhere to cheer her up! Lady Gaga too! Christ.

Three items of note:
– Both plots are so very short on content, we get three fucking montages. We see Bart and Nikki skateboard in an elaborate fashion, which I guess is them bonding? Or something? Then we see another extending Itchy & Scratchy, this time “parodying” Koyannisquatsi. Itchy & Scratchy shorts are meant to be short, just these ridiculously violent bursts of energy, but if they are long, they better have a damn good payoff. Between this and the House “parody” from last episode, it’s clear it’s nothing but filler. But the most egregious example, the most pointless montage in the show’s history, is at the end. Nikki gives Bart mouth-to-mouth, and we’re treated to Simpson-ized recreations of famous kisses in movie history. From Here to Eternity. Lady and the Tramp. Spider-Man. WALL-E. There’s no jokes here, they just animated these sequences, except for the Xenomorph alien tongue kissing the girl’s cheek, which is ripped from The Critic. What the fuck is this? Why waste a minute of screentime on this montage, which adds nothing to the story? Ugggh…
– The assembly scene is pretty disturbing, where Skinner and Willie at first are forced to make out in front of the students, but then over time appear to be enjoying themselves? So we’re treated to seeing a shot of them behind Chalmers appearing to be very passionately sucking face. Dude, what?
– I don’t understand the Michelle Obama thing. It’d be one thing if they actually were able to get her to do the voice, by all means, if the First Lady is willing to do your show, book her. But here, like with all celebrity appearances nowadays, it’s just an extended ass kissing session. She makes a grand entrance, totes how smart and accomplished she is, emasculates her bodyguards with her muscular arms (which is really our only “joke”), and leaves. I’m not saying you have to rip on her, and I’m certainly not looking to get political with this, but if you’re going to put the First Lady on your comedy show, maybe it’d be a good idea to include some comedy? Novel concept, yeah?

One good line/moment: A quick line at the beginning from Skinner on the whereabouts of Edna (“Mrs. Krabappel had to go to Portland. Apparently the people she hired to reprogram her sister from that cult ended up being an even worse cult.”)