(enjoy the nightmares caused by this framegrab!)

Original airdate: May 2, 2010

The premise: When an incident of typical Springfieldian idiocy is mistaken for an act of terrorism, an English security consultant is hired, who proceeds to install cameras around the entire town. Citizens are instated to monitor them all, and none takes to it more than Ned Flanders, who revels in being able to correct the misdeeds and sinful acts occurring all over Springfield.

The reaction: Another unfocused episode that feels all over the place. We start leading up to the national security incident, which involves Smithers sneaking nuclear material into Homer’s duffel bag for some reason. Then Springfield can apparently afford to hire an international consultant to help with their security problems and put up cameras everywhere. So it’s an episode about the slippery slope of protecting one’s freedoms by invading their privacy and infringing on people’s liberties? This show can still do satire, right? Like that great episode “Bart-Mangled Banner”? It doesn’t matter, since the episode  ends up focusing on Flanders, who finds his dream job amongst the hundreds of surveillance screens, tsk tsking his way across town on whatever he deems inappropriate (read: everything). So once again Flanders is an ultra-conservative mega-prude antagonist, with the story lumbering along to a limp-wristed “twist” ending, where the episode once again shoots for nostalgia points with Prince Charles quoting a season 6 Ralph line. Same with the Shary Bobbins cameo,who turns into a Terminator for some reason. Oh, there’s also an unnecessary B-story about Lisa’s discouragement that people joke about blondes being dumb. Le sigh.

Three items of note:
– This episode is semi-notorious for its opening. In lieu of the regular title sequence, we get a new segment of everyone lip syncing to Kesha’s “Tik Tok,” which seemed to have infuriated nerds all across the Internet when it aired. Apparently it was a mandate from FOX, who was holding “FOX Rocks Week,” “encouraging” all their shows to include some kind of musical element. So how can we read “encouraging”? That they were forced to do this? Or did the staff just roll over and slapped this together? Regardless, even if they did cave, you’d think they could come up with something more original, or even something that poked fun at the network mandate to begin with. But no, it’s just like a straight music video with little gags thrown in that tie into the song’s lyrics. Once again the show proves depressing in how amazingly uncreative it is.
– It really is so sad hearing Tress MacNeille voicing Lunchlady Doris. They retired the character and left her silent for a good decade before randomly bringing her back. It’s almost as if they were waiting for the old fans to drop off, and the casual ones to not remember or not be bothered by it. Usually she’s given a token line, but here, where she has a back and forth bit with Milhouse in complete sentences, it feel so wrong. It doesn’t even sound remotely like Doris Grau. Why oh why didn’t they just create a new cafeteria worker? Because that would mean creating a new regular character, which the show clearly isn’t interested in. Who’s the last reoccurring secondary… hell, tertiary character they introduced that you can think of? The best I can come up with is Crazy Cat Lady from season 9.
– Almost as horrible as the bit of Smithers leaving and re-entering the bar to overhear Homer, Lenny and Carl badmouthing him, we have Marge finding the wild party in her backyard and muttering to herself in the front yard so Flanders can overhear her exposition (“I don’t want to get Homer in trouble, but it’s just plain wrong to use that blind spot to turn our backyard into a mecca of misdemeanors!”) Flanders then calls Rod to hold a mirror out the window so he can see. Also, it seems this guy’s at the surveillance HQ 24/7. What’s happening with Rod and Todd? It doesn’t matter, all characters are just props now and appear and disappear when needed.

One good line/moment: The opening with Duffman and the cheerleaders appearing at Moe’s, with the direction at the start feeling almost exactly like his first appearance in “The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson.” So basically I was pleased thinking about that episode. I guess the show’s nostalgia fumes work every once and a while.

Original airdate: April 25, 2010

The premise: A massive wind storm in Springfield causes a whale to become beached onto shore. Lisa takes a vested interest, but any effort to move the creature comes up short. When the whale dies, Lisa is crestfallen, before realizing there are baby whales to protect, currently being hunted by a troupe of sharks.

The reaction: As usual, there’s so little plot here. We don’t even get to the whale until literally the halfway mark, once we get through the show’s take on wind powered energy. The joke? Once there’s no more wind, there’s no more power! There just isn’t anything here. People try to move the whale, it dies, we see Lisa is sad over a long montage, then she sees the baby whales. Homer inexplicably appears from nowhere to help Lisa, then some environmentalists block them, also coming from nowhere, looking to protect the sharks, because all sea creatures lives are equal. This one piece of dialogue causes Lisa to have a random change of heart, as illustrated by a push-in on her face during said dialogue. Then some stupid shit with Homer in danger, and a gigantic fucking whale picking him up out of the water and safely back in his own boat with no one acknowledging how fucking bizarre and crazy that is. Just another wacky day in Springfield!

Three items of note:
– The Energy Expo at the beginning is so sad. This is the kind of set piece you would relish in the early years, full of joke after joke after joke. I remember the similar energy convention from “The Last Temptation of Homer,” with Hans Moleman’s solar energy booth being ransacked by big oil, and the subtitle on the power plant’s booth, “As Seen on 60 Minutes.” What jokes do we have here? Kid power by Ralph? Burp power by Barney? Really, guys? That’s the best you could come up with?
– Even with the main story as compressed as it is, we get so much useless time filler: Lisa’s dream of the whale being free, the town blowing up the whale and harvesting it for profit, and Lisa’s montage of being sad about the whale, in case you forgot that she was, I guess.
– Homer’s being encircled by sharks during the “dramatic” portion of our show. Then in the next shot, Lisa and the environmentalists shout some stuff to him, and we see the sharks start swimming away. Yeah, they’re just leaving. What? And why is no one acknowledging this? Then Homer gets hit with a bucket and starts bleeding and the sharks come back. Couldn’t they have made this into a coherent gag? Like the sharks notice something else and start to leave, they try and throw Homer something to hold onto, he gets hit and starts bleeding, which attract the sharks back. Instead, it’s like no one’s even paying attention to the show they’re making. It’s really bizarre.

One good line/moment: Lisa pushes away Homer’s harpoon at the last moment, causing it to strike a seagull in the distance. It doesn’t just get killed, it literally explodes into a puff of feathers. It’s so quick and bizarrely violent that it’s kinda great.

Original airdate: April 18, 2010

The premise: Homer bonds with Chief Wiggum during his term of community service, and the two become good friends, but things take a turn when Wiggum takes a near fatal bullet for his new friend in a scuffle with the mob. Meanwhile, Bart becomes obsessed with a new toy craze, only to be misinterpreted by the school staff as him dealing narcotics.

The reaction: Here’s an idea I felt I could go with halfway. I enjoy episodes where we take a closer look at our supporting players, seeing them in a new, semi-serious light. A show about Wiggum feeling unwanted at home and finding a new kinship with Homer could work, and in a few moments here, it kind of did. But like many things nowadays, they push it too far, and comment on it whilst doing it. Vulnerable Wiggum? Sure. Wiggum acting like a giddy teenager in love? Nope, that’s too much. By the time he gets shot, it feels like things have been pushed too far. The relationship hasn’t felt strong enough to justify this dramatic of a turn, and then when Wiggum wakes from his coma and starts taking advantage of Homer, it comes out of nowhere, and their little bit of strife feels forced. But I did enjoy select scenes of their interaction, and as hokey and joke-free as it was, I liked Homer staying by coma Wiggum’s side in the hospital. This is easily the closest I’ve come to liking an episode this season, which is to say I didn’t think it was complete and total trash.

Three items of note:
– Marge trying to figure out the gender of the kid whose birthday it is, Homer’s concealed candy apple mistaken for a gun, the initial bonding scene with Homer and Wiggum… I was surprised how much was working in the first half of the episode. Some of the scenes definitely ran longer than they should have, but I at least enjoyed their set-ups.
– The B story is so lackluster. Apparently the toys are a parody of Bakugan Battle Brawlers, something I’ve never heard of, and the idea of surely came from one of the writers seeing his kids playing with them. Last episode we had the hacky soap opera contrivance of a character overhearing others talking bad about them, but this time it’s even worse with Marge listening in on Bart and Milhouse talking about the toys, but sounding like drugs. Oh, but it’s okay, because Marge lampshades it (“Let me just listen to a little more, out of context.”) The plot “ends” when Marge discovers the toys and thinks they’re cool, ergo Bart thinks they’re uncool. Great job, guys, you basically lifted the ending of South Park‘s “Chinpokomon” episode from over ten years ago.
– In act two, we see Wiggum able to put sugar in his coffee while driving using his tongue. Then in our conclusion, we see him utilize those skills to mess with Fat Tony’s CD changer. At this point, it’s really shocking to see any form of set up/pay off in these episodes, so I was really impressed.

One good line/moment: “Chicken parm, meatball parm, eggplant parm, shiska parm, angel food parm, moo goo gai parm, my wife can parm anything.” Also, I’m really really hungry as I write this.

Original airdate: April 11, 2010

The premise: After a stolen famous art piece is discovered in his home, Mr. Burns is thrown into prison, where he’s taken in by a physically intimidating, but humble born again inmate. But when conditions at the plant worsen under the rule of Smithers, Homer, Lenny and Carl seek to break Burns out and set things back to normal.

The reaction: As we’ve seen, Mr. Burns is a heavy casualty of latter day Simpsons, flip-flopping from cartoonishly evil to pathetic frail old weakling. This episode utilizes mainly the first, with the opening act featuring Burns forcing his employees to work during their 4th of July picnic for his own amusement. It’s so elaborate and dumb. Burns would rather be left alone with his immense wealth than waste his time with common folk for any longer than he has to. Then he’s thrown in prison on an insane technicality, and somehow is unable to bribe his way out of there. Alright, whatever, Burns in jail, what can we do with this plot? Become born again? Sure, except it happens late in the episode and doesn’t mean anything, and of course he reverts back to his evil ways in a matter of minutes. Apart from that we have Smithers inexplicably become an even worse boss than Burns, and a side story with Bart and Lisa involving an ant farm. Quality!

Three items of note:
– The scene of Burns’s arrest is unbelievable, it’s one of the worst scenes I can recall from this show. The cops come in to bust Homer, Lenny and Carl for trashing Burns’s house. Then Lou notices a Vermeer painting on the wall that was stolen twenty years ago. Even if there was a line about how he would know that, it would still be clunky and awkward. Yes, it’s true, The Concert is still missing, but I didn’t know that. What percentage of the people still watching this show are art history majors? Rather than plead ignorance, claim it’s a replica, fucking anything to absolve him of guilt, Burns stammers on about how he’s above the law, and then he’s arrested. What about the three drunken idiots you came to arrest? But how fucking dumb is this? The cops come in, Lou points out the painting, Burns is arrested. That’s it. They mention once how it’s ironic he got arrested on such a technicality, but it’s just so, so dumb and meaningless.
– The Smithers turn is stupid. The guys take him to Moe’s for a drink for what a great job he’s done running the plant, where in thanks, Homer lifts his shirt for him (“Use that image any way you want.”) Ugh. Then Smithers goes outside to take a phone call for a customer survey? But that’s just an excuse to get him out of the room and come back to overhear the other guys talking about how they love taking advantage of a pushover sap like Smithers. Why are they so needlessly vindictive? And what the fuck, this is like soap opera level contrivance, leaving the room and coming back to overhear part of a conversation? And plus, this gives us no sympathy for the punishment Homer, Lenny and Carl get, since they brought it on themselves. It’s all just an excuse to have them want to bust Burns out of prison, which I guess they can do easily. Dress up as guards, get the keys and walk him toward the exit. Simple!
– Always on the cutting edge of pop culture, this episode references The Shawshank Redemption with the formidable black inmate who wants to cleanse Burns’s soul. So rather than show him molding Burns into a good person despite his resistance, he literally sucks the evil out of him, which is like this green goopy stuff that shoots out of Burns’s mouth in a disturbing and bizarre sequence. Then, he’s good now! What the fuck is this shit?

One good line/moment: The portrait in Burns’s office of himself in the style of Saturn Devouring His Son by Goya. Now there’s my art history knowledge coming into use.