(originally aired January 25, 2004)
It seems I’ve been doing a lot of comparisons to classic episodes this season, due to Al Jean’s attempts to either drag back old one-off guest stars or tread through familiar emotional ground, except in a less successful way. Here we have Marge channeling her dissatisfaction of her husband through a creative outlet, a la “A Streetcar Named Marge,” but rather than star in a play, she writes a trashy romance novel, the kinds housewives read that typically have Fabio on the cover. Her characters are thinly veiled surrogates for people in her life, the long-suffering wife to a lecherous seaman falls for the kindly, rugged gentleman next door, inspired by the always helpful Flanders. Before that, we have a profoundly stupid opening where Homer mows down a nuclear inspector in Burns’s office with his car, seemingly killing him, an action which is impossible since the office is several floors off the ground. Terminated, Homer falls into a job as a car salesman, which lasts all of two minutes before he gets another job driving an ambulance. Or rather, he just buys the ambulance and automatically becomes an ambulance driver. It’s almost like a parody of Homer-gets-a-job at this point. I just don’t know what to make of it.

I feel like some people could point at an episode like “Streetcar” and cry, “See? See?! Jerkass Homer existed in the classic era!” But, as always, it’s all about context. “Streetcar” is one of my favorite episodes, and the handling of Homer’s character to keep him likeable despite his inconsiderate behavior is stellar. He remains distant and oblivious to all of Marge’s plights, but never in a way that seems mean. He flat-out admits to her that he has absolutely no interest in any of her outside interests, and when Marge asks him why he never told her this, he responds as earnestly as possible, “You know I’d never do anything to hurt your feelings.” And you believe it. Homer’s a believably dense and dim man whose bubble of ignorance is only popped after actually seeing the play. In this episode, Homer isn’t exactly antagonistic, but when he lumbers home demanding Marge cook him dinner and chastising his kids who he forced to work for him, it pretty much seems like it. And when Marge writes about potentially finding happiness with another man, it feels so sad to me, as well as disturbing that it’s about Flanders. Thank God I jumped ship on the show before they did that episode where she considered actually having an affair with him. Man oh man, how fucked up is that?

Homer-Marge relationship episodes were dodgy in the past since it was always a bit of a leap of faith that Marge would ever take back Homer, but nowadays, they’re really complete fantasies. Homer’s such an out-of-control maniac, as we’ve seen, but this episode strikes an even more sour tone since we see Marge’s point-of-view on the subject. Her book is really the subject of her inner feelings, and as we see it play out that Homer is this complete sloven degenerate (“I’m free to be selfish, drunk, emotionally distant, sexually ungenerous…”), it becomes depressing that this is how Marge sees her husband. For all their scrapes and scuffles, what always felt so comforting about this show is that the family truly cares about each other, particularly Homer and Marge, who felt like two people who were very much still in love. Nowadays Homer is a complete cartoon character, and Marge is either a total doormat, or reveals her true devastating feelings like in this episode, or “Brake My Wife, Please.” It’s just kind of depressing.

Tidbits and Quotes
– Marge attends a book signing of a romance novelist, and then all of a sudden she decides she wants to be a writer. Just like that. Here’s what sells her on it (“If I write a book, will they tell me when it comes out?” “Well, they should, yes.” “Then I’ll do it!”) I’m very confused.
– Marge has got to be really hard to write for, especially when she’s all by herself. Her dialogue here is pretty… bad (“This story is as dark as those new Milky Way bars!”) She attempts to find inspiration for her book by looking at the sailboat painting over the couch, envisioning a glorious, whale-ridden seascape (“A novel about whaling! That’s something you haven’t seen before!”) Not a bad joke. But wait, let’s explain it in case some people didn’t get it (“Thank you, ‘Scene from Moby Dick’!”) Sigh. Plus this betrays a past joke where Marge reveals that she painted that for Homer. I try not to be a big continuity stickler, but I always thought that moment was very sweet.
– The in-novel scene between Marge and Flanders is quite unsettling, considering this is all in Marge’s mind.
– Another episode, some more throwaway guest voices, from Thomas Pynchon to Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen. I did like Tom Clancy’s bit though (“Would I say, ‘If you’re hunting for a great read this October, Marge Simpson’s book is a clear and present danger to your free time’? Hell no, I wouldn’t. …what do you mean I just said it? That doesn’t count!”)
– Ah, the reappearance of Dr. Marvin Monroe. So completely unnecessary. Why would they name the fucking hospital after him if he wasn’t dead? Whatever.
– Homer furiously chasing Flanders across town, cornering him at the top of a steep cliff… then getting down on his knees to beg him for help his marriage. Such a huge mislead.

(originally aired January 11, 2004)
What I initially figured would just be a poor man’s “Saturdays of Thunder” actually ended up surprising me. That description is somewhat apt, but it’s still a really sweet and effective Homer-Bart show, unfortunately saddled with a bizarrely grim and uncomfortable B-plot. We start with Bart modifying his old bike with rad decals and accessories, but soon finds there’s no substitute for a real ten-speed. Homer buys and assembles one himself, which quickly falls apart, leaving Bart disappointed. It’s almost like a set-up from the classic years, where Homer makes a bungled attempt to help one of his kids in the first act and must make it up over the next two. In this case, inspired by Bart’s interest in a BattleBots-type show, Homer attempts to build his own fighting robot. Failing miserably, he does the next best thing: create an empty shell of one that he controls from the inside, unbeknownst to Bart. Dubbed “Chief Whack-a-Homer,” he competes on the robot fighting show, winning the love of his son, as well as several nasty injuries and lacerations.

It’s not perfect, but what a breath of fucking fresh air this episode is. After slogging through so much of selfish asshole Homer as of late, seeing him actually risk life and limb, literally, for the happiness of his son is so heartening to see. This is the Homer we love, trying to do what’s best for his family in the most asinine way possible. Even in the climax when he goes up against Professor Frink’s mechanical killing machine, he’s completely brazen, and stupid, all for Bart’s sake. The scene where Homer is exposed and Bart expresses such enthusiasm over his father’s actions is really sweet and feels completely earned (“Any poindexter can throw some nuts and bolts together. You risked your own life, even though you’re a sole provider for a family of five!”) On top of the emotional core, the episode also has a lot of laughs, be it in parodying the fighting robot shows popular at the time (“Can robots feel pain? If so, we are horrible, horrible people!”) and in regards to Homer’s plights, like using a magnet to extract all of the shards of metal from his body.

The B-story… oh dear, the B-story… Snowball II is struck and killed by a car in act one. Now, the cat may not have been a prominent character, but she dates back to the first episode, and to see her bumped off in a storyline callously relegated to a B-plot doesn’t feel right. But the premise is that Lisa buys another cat, who swiftly deies, then another, and another, all dead. For an eight-year-old girl, this would be absolutely traumatizing. It’s played off for laughs, but it just feels so saddening and wrong for a sweet girl like Lisa to go through so much anguish. It couldn’t clash more tonally with the main story. Our resolution is just a final kick in the teeth: coming across one last cat that actually evades danger rather than get killed, Lisa dubs her Snowball V, but to make things convenient, decides to call her Snowball II and forget anything ever happened. Totally makes sense for a little kid to do. Come on, guys, I know you think you’re being clever by being meta, but it just doesn’t work here. But despite the B-plot, this one’s definitely a gem buried amidst a pile of shit.

Tidbits and Quotes
– The opening bit of Milhouse rushing to the Simpson house is fantastic, a shockingly great piece of animation, with more life in it than I’d seen on the show for many seasons. Sure enough I see Lauren MacMullen’s name pop up as director. It seems that every time I notice the show is looking exceptional visually, it’s a show she did. She only has two more episodes left, unfortunately. They would have been wise to keep her around.
– The Domino’s shot, Flanders actually swearing, the bullies taunts actually feeling legitimate and not jokey, Hibbert’s Kool & the Gang air freshener (“Celebration’s over, boys,”) Homer being a bonehead (“A ten-speed bike? What did your mother say?” “She said yes.” “I said no!” “I’m confused, which is it?!”) I was completely stunned at how much was working in the first act, and continued to work through the entirety of the show. If not for that goddamn B-plot, this one would be top of the heap of latter-day episodes. Not even the spring-loaded first aid kit could sully my mood out of act one.
– There’s something endearing about Homer riding around on a tricycle inside that suit making robot noises. It’s so shocking that in basically every episode now I either hate Homer or am bewildered by him, but here, for once not only am I on his side but I’m enthralled by him and his efforts.
– Nice banter between the “Robot Rumble” hosts (“He’s killing him softly with his saw!” “Killing him softly?” “With his saw!”)
– One of the only things I hate about the main story is the montage sequence where we see Homer’s other competitors: Reverend Lovejoy and Jessica, and Chief Wiggum and Ralph. The former I don’t buy condoning this type of show, and I don’t see either of them having the technical know-how to build a functional robot, especially the latter. Why not have it be random families like the first match? The end does bring back Frink’s son though, apparently not killed after the incident way back in “Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?” I like that he doesn’t speak a word, he just mimics his father’s look and movements, like he’s some kind of clone or something.
– I don’t even want to talk about the B-plot anymore. Not even the mention of Armin Tamzarian. I will say that I definitely wouldn’t trust any cat given to me by the Crazy Cat Lady. The myriad of diseases it must carry…
– I love the animation of Homer squeezing out of the robot frame like a tube of toothpaste, and the twist that Frink programmed the robot to abide by Asimov’s rules to never harm humans. So Homer is declared the winner by default (“Show me where in the rule book it says a human can’t be a robot!” “Right here. Rule one.”)