(originally aired January 4, 2004)
Storylines are getting thinner and thinner nowadays, but it’s an entirely different case when I have no idea what’s going on. This episode concerns two lobby initiatives getting on the town ballot, except we’re never really told what exactly they are and how they affect anything. Everything is kept incredibly vague to make room for lame, forced gags about self-righteous anti-motherhood women and mud-racking ads. But first, our dumb opening. Maggie becomes obsessed with children’s musician Roofi (see, like Raffi, but spelled differently!) and Marge takes her to his concert in Springfield, a completely packed affair taking place in Cletus’s backyard. It’s a veritable baby Woodstock, with kids dancing around naked, passing around laced pacifiers and suckling on any breast in sight. It was more than a little disconcerting to me. A sudden storm causes all the babies to throw a tantrum, resulting in Roofi cancelling the show. They then cause wonton destruction, destroying the stage and Cletus’s home, with a reported one million dollars in damages. Forget exactly how two year olds managed to cause so much havoc with their mothers present, but a million dollars for Cletus’s crap shack? Come on.

Despite the fact that Springfield has had many mob-related incidents involving adults, this latest one caused by toddlers is a whole other story. Quimby sides with Lindsay Naegle, who forms an anti-youth group hellbent on making the lives of families more difficult, from cancelling school bus service, burning all children’s toys, and ordering police to lightly tase kids acting up in public. This all sounds like insanely vindictive and cruel behavior… because it is. The most disappointing thing is that there’s a shred of a good topic within this episode, on how some laws cater to the safety and well being of children to the annoyance and possible detriment of adults, and Marge coming to the defense for the sake of her family. But this episode doesn’t have a brain in its head, and is more content with silly montages than crafting a thoughtful story.

Marge enacts her own initiative to be put on the upcoming ballot. What is it for? I’ve no clue, but I’m guessing it’s for the opposite of Naegle’s. But what is her’s? The problem is that everything’s been made so jokey and unrealistic that I don’t understand what the stakes are. Marge is really all in on this and is emotionally invested in her cause, except I don’t know what exactly she’s fighting for or what the ramifications are if she loses. Will people be banned from procreating? Will all people under eighteen be banned from Springfield? Those are extreme examples, but at least I can be on board for the story if I know the risks. The ending is just as bewildering, as Bart and Lisa spring their own plan along with the kids of Springfield to hug dissenting voters on the way to the polls, causing all of the child-less citizens to collapse to the ground in a diseased fit, as Lisa comments that all the single people had no immunity toward the love of children. So what, is this like the dumb ending to “Bye Bye Nerdy,” that kid germs are toxic to people who hate kids? Is that why, it’s chemical? I don’t know if that’s it, and frankly I don’t care. Another episode I just can’t hate because I’m just confused by it. The writing on this show continues to fall apart.

Tidbits and Quotes
– We open with a parody of Steve Irwin, and all I could think of is how much better South Park dealt with him on an episode five years prior (“So what I’m gonna do is sneak up on it, and jam my thumb it its butthole! This should really piss it off!”)
– Flipping through channels, we hear a bit of King of the Hill (“Bobby, I got propane in my urethra.”) Hank Azaria (I think?) does Hank, a pretty shoddy impression to be honest, but it’s kind of a hard voice to get right.
– The entire first act focuses on Maggie, who then disappears for the rest of the episode. Couldn’t she have been involved somehow? Like maybe her cuteness ultimately melts the hearts of those cold, soulless single people and changes their minds? Anything? Wait, actually, she does appear later, she throws up in Marge’s handbag, which causes Naegle to scoff at her more. Wonderful.
– The baby riot is just way too fucking silly: the reporting on the event (Babies to Mayor: ‘Wah Wah,’) Kent on the phone with their “leader,” it’s too fucking stupid to take seriously at all in what’s supposed to the catalyst for our story.
– Smithers holds up the banner at the end, representing the ‘gay,’ of course. Honestly, just come out and say he’s gay. Don’t keep feeding us this bullshit, it’s clear they just want him to be their gay stereotype now, just be fucking honest about it.
– The whole anti-kid thing makes no sense how they present it: instead of listing off some real problems, Luigi complains about having to give out children’s menus, and Sideshow Mel gripes about the quality of the school plays, which he doesn’t have to pay for, or attend at all because he has no kids.
– I chuckled at Pimply Faced Teen joining the mob, his voice finally lowering (“It’s time to throw away childish things… and become a man.“)
– The gag of people keep disappearing from Luigi’s is alright: everyone but Marge bolts when she announces her campaign needs money, then Marge bolts when Luigi tells her she’s stuck with the bill, then Luigi bolts when the Department of Immigration arrives with a few questions.
– Dreadful bit with the devil shyster from big tobacco wanting to sign Marge’s initiative. This show has done impossible, fantastical gags in the past, so it’s not like I can bitch about that, but every gag has its context and rhythm, and if it works, I laugh, and if it doesn’t, I don’t. But here, the man handing over a pen with human souls in it, and literally descending into the depths of hell right in front of Marge was just too much. Reminds me of The Critic when a sickeningly saccharine replacement critic for Roger Ebert is revealed to be Satan, but it works within that show.
– Burns ends up signing Marge’s petition, in support of children’s organs (“Oh, unfenced backyard pools, where would I be without you?”) This for some reason causes other people to sign up, thinking that if rich people support something, then it must be good. But rich, diabolically evil people? Whatever.
– I like Homer standing up for Marge (“No one messes with my Mrs. I’ll come down on those guys like the garage door on Bart’s bike!”) but his commercial is pretty laugh-free and kinda stupid (“Visit our web site: http://www.aljazeera.com. We’re not affiliated, we’re just piggy-backing on their message board.”)

(originally aired December 14, 2003)
I still remain bewildered as to why the writers seem content in writing Homer as an asshole. But it’s not even like his character is consistently dicky, from scene to scene he can run the gambit of being insensitive, callous, ignorant, infantile… now, these are traits that classic Homer also inhabited, but the key difference here is the lack of a human soul. Homer may fuck shit up at home, or allow horrible things to happen due to his inattentiveness, but he’ll always work tooth and nail to get it fixed for the good of his family. He may go about it the entirely incorrect way, but his heart is always in the right place, fueled by his love for his wife and kids. Look no further than the very first episode “Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire,” where we see Homer do everything within his power to provide a perfect Christmas for his family. That Homer is long dead, as now we have selfish Homer, who upon falling into a bunch of money, splurges it on an extravagant, worthless gift for himself. When Lisa asks why he did it, he responds, “If I’m happy, I’m less abusive to the rest of you!” He’s less of a patriarch and more like the family’s jerkoff housemate at this point.

Watching “A Christmas Carol” on TV convinces Homer to change his selfish ways, so he vows to be the nicest guy in town, doing good deeds everywhere he can, which sparks some jealous from New Flanders. So, basically it becomes a low rent version of “Homer Loves Flanders.” None of Homer’s actions feel genuine whatsoever, it seems it’s more of obligation to save his own ass from scorn. He engages in dueling collection plates at mass with Flanders, collecting a much bigger till, and has the smuggest fucking look on his face when he walks off arms crossed with Lovejoy. This couldn’t pale more in comparison with “Homer Loves Flanders,” which featured Homer unintentionally stealing Ned’s thunder and it slowly eating away at him, which is so much more interesting. Here, Homer is Mr. Wonderful and succeeds at all his charitable efforts because the story demands it, even going so far as building a fucking ice rink in his backyard. Homer had two dollars to spend on a Christmas tree, now he has the money to build that?

There’s really not much story to be had, as a lot of this episode is filled with TV parodies and extended music montages, none of which are particularly funny. As a final charitable effort, Flanders gets gifts for everyone in town, and misconstruing Lisa’s words, Homer decides to steal all the gifts so the people can enjoy a non-commerical Christmas, basically just an excuse for them to do a Grinch parody. The town is out for Homer’s blood once they find out, Flanders defends him, claiming he’s partially responsible, which I’ll buy because he’s Flanders, then Homer distracts the crowd with a bright shining star in the sky, Flanders reads from the Bible, they get their presents back, and that’s the end. So despite having committed hundreds of burglaries, Homer gets off scot-free in the end, of course. I really don’t understand the ending. Or most of the episode, for that matter. Homer was once a character you truly cared about, who felt real and you hoped would succeed. Then he started to do stupid, reckless shit and you started to hate him. But now we’re at the point where a lot of what he does just plain confuses me. He’s just this anything-goes character they can have do whatever they need for whatever scene. But none of this is new information. At some point these reviews are going to become somewhat redundant, because all this shit’s going to start running together.

Tidbits and Quotes
– Comic Book Guy dumping out his entire register for the Joe DiMaggio card is not nearly as funny as the backpedaling of his excitement about Mrs. Prince’s box of priceless Star Wars memorabilia from “Worst Episode Ever.”
– Lots of claymation in this episode, with the Jimmy Stewart Xmas special and the California Prunes commercial. The ending of lifting prune baby Jesus in the air, complete with cool shades reaching towards the heavens, made me smile.
– You really don’t like Homer for his actions in act one, don’t believe his strive for redemption in act two, and are just flabbergasted by his criminal behavior in act three. In the end, I’m just left very confused.
– Instead of her star suit, Maggie is wearing a white jumper with a little ear nub, sort of like Bongo the rabbit from Life in Hell.
– Homer is swayed by “Mr. McGrew’s Christmas Carol,” where they basically just do Mr. Magoo straight, with no subversion or twist. And we spend a while on Homer watching it, it all feels like time killing. I like the Star Trek version of an Xmas Carol though (“Mr. Scott, fire photon torpedoes!” “It’s no use, captain! He’s showing visions of me future! God, I’m so fat!”)
– Homer gets Lenny a photo cube with rounded off corners, then proceeds to jab his eye with it repeatedly, because I guess now, eye injury is a “thing” with Lenny.
– The only laugh I got from the episode was the retouched photo of Homer used on the news, of him looking like a maniac lunging at Marge and Lisa, with a bouquet of flowers in his clasped hands. Now that I look at it again, I guess they blurred out Bart where he’s strangling, but I always envisioned that he was holding a knife or a gun or something.
– Another joke about Nelson missing his father. And another joke about Moe committing suicide. Any topic can be made funny, but the show really misses the mark when it comes to these two subjects. The former is presented as far too sad, and the latter plays off the serious subject so callously that it’s almost offensive. Merry Christmas, everybody.

(originally aired December 7, 2003)
In a similar fashion as “My Mother the Carjacker,” this episode drags back a classic guest star for a repeat performance, without any of the emotional resonance or sensibility that made them great in the first place. This instance might be worse, actually; “Carjacker” just repeated the beats of its predecessor, whereas here, Rabbi Krustofski is pretty much absent for the second half of the episode in favor of a completely nonsensical and ridiculous B-“plot.” There’s a beginning involving getting rid of Santa’s Little Helper’s bastard puppies, but it’s inconsequential to the story completely, as Krusty adopts one and we never see it after the first act. Krusty is surprised to find himself absent from the Jewish Walk of Fame, and discovers he is ineligible due to having never had a bar mitzvah. He consults his father about it, who tells him he never had the ceremony out of fear that his son would make a mockery of it. Krusty vows to truly embrace his religion, and to finally, at long last, become a man.

Rabbi Krustofski was the most highly regarded holy man in his village, and his son was never bar mitzvahed? Krusty clowned about his whole life, but in “Like Father, Like Clown,” we see through flashback the rabbi gushing about how his son is at the top of his class, implying that as he got older, Krusty managed to keep his antics from his father’s prying eyes. At least that’s just the way I see it, so I don’t entirely buy this premise. Krusty begins to adhere to his long ignored Jewish customs, which ultimately costs him his show (more on that in a bit). Desperate, he pitches to FOX that they air his bar mitzvah live, a sensationalist event featuring the Beach Boys Experience, Mr. T, and other glitz and glamor to undermine any shred of seriousness the ceremony might have. This segment of the episode is the only part that works, Krusty selling out his faith for the artificial televised thrill, with a spinning wheel Star of David and bad Jewish puns (“I can’t schmear you!”) Except earlier we see that Krusty’s old Jewish village is filled with puns too (L.L. Beanie, I Can’t Believe It’s Not Trayfe!) So context doesn’t matter here. As “The Regina Monologues” featured nonstop easy British jokes, here we have the same with Jew jokes.

Now that he observes the Sabbath, Krusty can’t record a show on Saturday, so he needs a replacement host. Who will it be? Homer, of course. Why? Because he was right there when Krusty was talking about it. The crowds cheer as the curtains open to reveal Homer, Moe, Lenny and Carl sitting around a table, talking about stupid topics like tight seats on airplanes and lame oldies stations. Surely this audience of kids don’t give a shit about this show, but apparently adults do, and within one minute, Homer’s show is the headline of fucking Variety magazine. Why is his show a big success? Why do they like it? The plot is just fast-tracked: Lisa urges Homer to use his newfound power to talk about real issues, which of course gets him swiftly cancelled. Too bad none of the story works whatsoever, and moreover, it completely takes over Krusty’s plot. We go right to the crazy bar mitzvah without any word in edgewise from Rabbi Krustofski. It would make perfect sense to have scenes of Krusty planning all the sacrilegious stuff and the rabbi urging him not to, leaving Krusty to have to choose between his fame and his faith. Instead, we get whatever the fuck that Homer story was. It’s the worst B-plot we’ve ever seen, and completely kills an episode that wasn’t holding up too well to start with.

Tidbits and Quotes
– Santa’s Little Helper’s last night on the town of animal porn theaters and doggie prostitutes is so uncomfortable and disturbing. Really, this show is just not the place for this type of humor. At least done in such a brash manner. In the end, Homer doesn’t have SLH neutered, so he effectively caused the problem, and should be the one to fix it. Instead, he strangles the dog, and Marge forces Bart and Lisa to give away the puppies. So Homer’s completely off the hook again! God bless that man!
– I like how Krusty’s lax Judiasm is summed up early on, scoffing at Sandy Koufax (“I lost ten grand when he wouldn’t pitch on Yom Kippur. I did five shows that night!”)
– Because Arnold Schwarzenegger, who was running for governor at the time, was also being accused of being an anti-Semite, that means Rainier Wolfcastle is one too!
– Know-it-all Lisa is an expert on the Jewish faith and the wordings of the Torah. Why? Some bullshit explanation about having a Jewish imaginary friend. Solid writing, guys.
– The Itchy and Scratchy is pretty boring, but I did chuckle at “Mouse-el tov!”
– I don’t even want to talk about the Homer plot anymore, because I just can’t make heads or tails of it. If anyone would like to ponder about it themselves, be my guest. All I know is not only do we get no explanation why Homer isn’t at work, Lisa and Bart apparently skip school to work as production assistants and engineers.
– Rabbi Krustofski dictates the rules of Judaism to Krusty, basically what everyone knows about them not mixing meat and milk and not eating pork. He also includes that all Jews must eat Chinese food on Christmas Day. What a hilarious stereotype! It really is like the England episode, the cheapest and easiest Jew jokes they could come up with in an afternoon.
– Mr. T is pretty enjoyable in the show as Krusty’s beleaguered special guest. Stuck on the spinning wheel of David, he laments, “I wish I had invested my money better…”

(originally aired November 30, 2003)
Homer fights a bear… okay. Here’s an episode that’s just a complete wash: it started, I watched it, it ended. Nothing memorable, nothing interesting, nothing uniquely offensive. We start on Mother’s Day as Homer and the kids do some last minute shopping for a gift that Homer takes full credit for. They run into Patty and Selma, who suggest they get her a Kitchen Carnival, a machine that makes carnival confections at home. Marge loves the gift, for some reason. Isn’t she normally the conscientious mother who ran a crusade against sugar? Now she’s happy as a clam letting her infant daughter eat caramel apples and cotton candy until she gets baby diabetes. In a maddening fit, Homer uses all the ingredients to make a gigantic sugar ball, which he spoons with like a new wife. It’s rather disturbing, and makes me pine for the days of him and his giant sandwich from “Selma’s Choice.”

Marge finally forces Homer to take the ball to the dump, at which point he is attacked by a bear. For some reason, this makes him the laughing stock of the town, with people calling him a cowardly wimp. I’m not entirely sure why this is. If I’m cornered and there’s a gigantic bear swiping its claws at my flesh, I’m going to be pretty terrified. But Homer has to restore his manliness, I guess, so he creates a rusty protective suit and vows to go off into the woods to fight the bear, and at this point I’m shaking my head since it’s clear that this really is the plot of this episode. Marge forbids her husband to go, but he goes anyway with Lenny, Carl and Bart, where he is ambushed by the bear again out of the suit. Marge enlists the help of the most rugged hunter alive Grant Connor (Charles Napier, doing the best he can with the material), and Homer discovers the bear is only irritable due to a tracking tag Connor placed on him.

So Homer and the bear are friends now and he now wants to help the animal to the wildlife sanctuary off in the woods. The sanctuary is pristine, rainbow covered sacred land, but they have to get past an entire line of hunters hiding in bushes to get there. Homer stuffs the bear into his protective suit, a really shoddy disguise that Marge initially falls for (“It’s Homer! Don’t shoot!”) The hunters then realize it’s the bear and start shooting at it. As tense music plays, the bear runs down a straight line, with every bullet hitting the armor, despite the fact there are plenty of exposed areas on it, until he gets to the sanctuary. Victory! This is one of the saddest endings of any episode in just how pathetic it is. I don’t give a shit about this bear, or anyone involved in this story, and this resolution is so fabricated and phony, with the sanctuary in the center of the map surrounded by “kill zones.” Characters spew lines out of obligation, lots of time-killing sequences, and everything just barely crawling to a total of nineteen minutes. But there’s nothing even to get upset about here. It’s just another episode that feels so inept and pointless that I can’t even get mad. It really is just pathetic.

Tidbits and Quotes
– The dichotomy here between the new and the old really is striking. The first act is Homer getting Marge a present that she really wouldn’t want or need, like the opening of “Life in the Fast Lane.” In that episode, she’s understandably upset by the thoughtless gift. Here, she thanks Homer for his graciousness and off she goes like a Stepford wife.
– We get our first appearance of SPRAWL-MART. Hey, is that anything like WAL-MART? It sure looks like it, and hey, Grampa works there as a greeter! Just like how WAL-MART was hiring old people to do that! Get it? Aren’t we so goddamn clever?
– Bart, a ten-year-old, knows who Jaclyn Smith is. Another example of how the writers don’t know how the hell to write for Bart anymore. I looked up the joke about her selling axe heads because I didn’t get it. Apparently she pioneered the concept of celebrities developing their own products instead of just endorsing them in the 80s. Oh, now I get it. Ha ha ha.
– “Marge, you’re gonna love my present. It is so thoughtful, it makes the kids’s gifts look like crap!” Nice to say, Homer, considering the kids tried to help you get a gift, and basically Lisa is the one who got Patty and Selma to recommend the gift. You did no work, and hog all the credit. Our loveable protagonist, folks!
– “That’s it, kids… Suckle Daddy’s sugar ball.” Maybe the most disturbing thing ever said or shown on the show ever.
– Homer is smacked down into a ditch at the dump and sees a giant bear ready to fucking maul him (“Oh my God, I’m gonna be killed by a bear! Well I guess I don’t have to worry anymore about the dangers of smoking.”) He then takes out a pipe and calmly smokes it. How does one come up with this joke? Not only does it evaporate any tension the scene had, it’s completely out of left field for Homer to have the pipe at all. It’s just another example of the show’s need to cram in gags everywhere, regardless if they’re funny or make sense whatsoever.
– I kind of like Smithers and Burns pranking Homer with the giant bear from his office. I’m not big on Burns laughing amongst his lowlife employees, but it was a nice use of resources since we’ve seen that bear throughout the entire series (“What a delightful practically-based joke!”)
– Homer’s bear hallucination is alright (“Are you a Care Bear?” “I’m an Intensive Care Bear.”)
– Grant Connor and his penchant for killing and eating every animal on the planet is so over the top I actually kind of like him. Also Charles Napier gives a good performance as always (“The bold grizzly is seven feet tall, weighs more than a Mazda Miata, and can tear through a tree like a Jewish mother through self-esteem.”)
– Homer electrocutes himself with the bear tag twice, because seeing him scream his head off and run around like a maniac is always funny.
– Homer unintentionally kills a lake of fish and a scuba diver, volunteers to castrate the bear, Marge instantly forgives her husband despite the fact that he almost got himself killed for an idiotic reason… whatever. I’ll say the best thing in the whole episode is when Marge and Connor are talking, you can see Lenny, Carl, Bart and Lisa chicken fighting in the background. It’s a really cute moment that I’m sure some bored animator thought up as he was contemplating getting a job on a better show.

(originally November 23, 2003)
I’ve touched on the devolution of travel episodes in the past, but just to quickly recap, what once were actual stories that prompted the family to go travel overseas to engage in some smart social commentary are now replaced with episodes that just want to get from tired set piece to tired set piece utilizing the most bargain basement stereotypes imaginable. A premise, or God forbid a heart, is lingering there somewhere, but both are pretty much abandoned the moment the family lands in Europe. But before that, our stupid ass first act, where Bart comes across a thousand dollar bill. What does he do with it? Start a museum in his treehouse, the Museum of Modern Bart. The scene with Hibbert talking to Marge about joining the “Friends of Bart” program at the “gift shop” with MoMB shirts on the wall particularly struck me that this show has departed from any semblance of reality. Of course that line has already been crossed many a time and shit upon, and it’s something I really shouldn’t get upset over anymore, but when the show feels it can just do anything regardless of whether it makes any sense, it just becomes groan-inducing, even when it comes to a dumb joke like that. The actual owner of the bill, Mr. Burns, reclaims his lost currency, but Bart has made a good three thousand bucks from the museum, and decides to spend it on Marge for a nice family vacation.

Why Great Britain? Grampa recalls having spent a wonderful night with an English girl before getting shipped off during World War II, so the Simpsons propose they go find her. They get to England, check in their hotel room, then Grampa is left behind. We don’t see him again until the very end of the episode, at which point we pathetically close off this “plot line.” The moment Homer shuts that door, the episode is without a purpose, just jumping from dumb bit after dumb bit. New Britain is high tech and advanced, like James Bond! Fish and chips, effeminate rich fops, double decker buses… None of this is particularly funny or original, and it all acts as killing time before we can get to the stupidness of act three. Plus, pile on the guest stars! Tony Blair, J.K. Rowling, Ian McKellan… all of their scenes start exactly the same way: Lisa introduces them and says what they do, then some mild ribbing and off they go. Even the motherfucking Joe Millionaire guy gets a single line. I’d look up his name, but I really don’t give a shit.

Homer drives through the gates of Buckingham Palace and rear-ends the Queen, getting him thrown in jail and facing a death sentence. It sounds serious, but the episode treats everything so callously and clumsily that it doesn’t even matter. The episode retains the same lame jokey tone from start to finish. Homer is being kept in the Tower of London for some fucking reason, then the rest of the family appears below his room at night, seemingly past all the guards, instructing him there’s a secret passage that will help him escape… right into the Queen’s bedroom. Homer bullshits his way out of trouble with the Queen and they all go home. But first we see that Grampa had an illegitimate child with his old flame and skedaddles. Whatever. The saddest parts of the episode revolve on the supposed “emotional” center, where Marge wishes for just one good family vacation, and Homer screws it up. “Itchy & Scratchy Land” this ain’t. Homer commits a heinous crime and is a loudmouth jackass in court, and Marge claims it’s partly her fault (“I’ve been nagging you so much on this trip, you couldn’t know which nags to focus on.”) Homer is an invincible asshole, always coming out on top with everyone loving him despite doing awful, awful, awful things. America embraces him, and now England does too. I’m so, so sorry, you guys.

Tidbits and Quotes
– Burns is a disoriented, weak, pathetic old man, and Smithers is a homosexual. Those are their characters now. I really need to stop complaining, since nothing’s going to change from this point, but any time I see either of them on screen, I’m just really bummed out.
– The first act is basically terrible. Why the fuck are people visiting Bart’s “museum”? Especially when it comes to folks like Krusty and Dr. Hibbert who I’m sure are very financially well-off. Between that and the aforementioned stupidity of the museum merchandise… it just sucks. We end the act with Homer standing at his gun cabinet that he apparently has now deciding which to bring with him overseas. Because Homer is apparently a violent insane madman, I guess.
– I smirked at this bit with Grampa on the phone (“Did you spend an unforgettable night with a soldier from the US Army in 1944? You did? Was he from the first infantry division? He was? And was he a gentle, caring lover? He was? Sorry I bothered you…”)
– Marge mentions that she nagged Homer a lot during the trip. We get that in one scene, where she “nags” him about punching out three people on the street. Really, when did the writers decide it okay that Homer is impulsively violent like this? There’s nothing that excuses this kind of behavior.
– The sweets freakout is a horse of a different color, but it just pales in comparison to the brilliant Squishee bender from “Boy Scoutz N the Hood.”
– The end of act two really doesn’t make any sense. They get caught in a roundabout, then Homer veers off across three lanes of traffic. Cut to Marge and the kids screaming. Homer smashes through the palace gates. Cut to Marge and the kids screaming again, the exact same animation. What, was Homer unable to hit the brakes during that long sequence? It just felt very clumsily put together.
– The only emotion I buy in this episode is Marge’s exasperation at her husband’s assholery (“Why did you let him be his own barrister?” “What difference could it make? He hit the frigging Queen!”) Of course in the next scene we see her apologize to Homer for some reason and everything’s right as rain, so it doesn’t matter.
– The Queen, who at the trial demanded Homer be locked up forever and ever, is swayed by Homer’s speech, which consists of calling Canada gay as swelling music plays in the background. She accepts in exchange for Homer returning Madonna to America, which he does so in a giant duffel bag. Then Grampa’s old lover shows up with a daughter that looks and acts just like Homer. The joke could not possibly be more obvious, but then we get this exchange (“This is my daughter, Abby. She’s fifty-eight years this month.” “Fifty-eight? Well, fifty-nine years ago, your mother and I were ha… oh.”) This episode fucking sucks.