122. Lisa’s Wedding

(originally aired March 26, 1995)
As with all cartoons, the Simpsons don’t age, and it’s perfect that way. If studio executives could place its sitcom actors in a time-stasis field to prevent them from getting older, don’t you think they’d do it? The status quo can be retained forever. But then that raises the question: what does the future hold for our characters? On one hand it could lead to some interesting stories, but on the other, perhaps things are best left to our imagination. Considering how well we know these characters at this point, we can all speculate as to what they’ll be up to years down the road. It’s a tricky tight rope that “Lisa’s Wedding” must traverse, but ultimately it manages to depict a believable future that shows a lot more than it tells, gives us glimpses of a latter-day Springfield and allowing us many opportunities to fill in the blanks for ourselves. On top of that (and having a lot of laughs, of course), it ends up becoming one of the most emotional episodes of the entire series. It set the bar pretty high for anyone foolish enough to do another future episode down the road (more on that train wreck later down the road…)

The first problem is how do we segue into the future story? Attending the local Renaissance Fair, Lisa chases an escaped bunny (Esquilax) into the deep dark woods and encounters a mysterious fortune teller, who spins a tale of her future true love. I think it works very well, almost reminiscent of Alice chasing the White Rabbit into another reality. Future Lisa has an antagonistic meet-cute with proper Brit Hugh Parkfield, a learned, distinguished gentleman with a shared love of the environment and Jim Carrey movies. He works perfectly as the sort of intellectual man Lisa would have an affection toward, and as a great foil to the Simpson family, who remain as low-rent as ever. A balder, more bloated Homer is still rocking the same console at the power plant, a more grizzled Bart is working in construction, and teenage Maggie is apparently quite the talker and singer (though, brilliantly, she’s always cut off from speaking.) The glimpses we get at other characters range from the logical (Otto owning a cab company, with a downtrodden Quimby as chauffeur) to the hilariously bizarre (Martin as the Phantom of the Elementary School), and the setting of the future is a blend of fantasy Jetsons material like flying cars, and logical progressions like technology going digital with picture phones and LED clocks (the blinking display of Big Ben proves that human incompetence will still exist with ever-progressing technology.)

Hugh comes to Springfield to meet the Simpsons, and Lisa is terrified of how he’ll react to them. What’s great here is that the Simpsons are not overly wacky or over-the-top, they’re still genuine characters. Homer takes Hugh out to Moe’s and bestows onto him a family tradition: kitschy pig cuff links. Later at the wedding, we see Homer give perhaps his most coherent and impassioned speech on how proud he is of Lisa, which like all great emotional Simpsons moments, is beautiful and humorous at the same time. It’s got to be in the top 3 emotional moments of the series. The cuff links appear to be the deal breaker; Homer found them on Hugh’s night stand, and while I think latter-day Homer would stupidly think he forgot them and make a huge scene, Homer reacts with a muted humility (“Guess they weren’t his cup of tea.”) Lisa confronts Hugh about it, who openly admits that he wants nothing to do with her family, leading to a great back-and-forth where Lisa admits that despite their foibles, she still loves her family, and can’t be with someone who doesn’t feel the same. This leads to our final bit after the story, where Lisa is glad to run back into her father at the fair and hear about his boorish exploits. There’s really just so much to love about this episode. It’s a wonderful and satisfying representation of a potential future for our characters, still not much further from where they were, but happy all the same. Despite her intellect and ambition, Lisa knows she’s still a Simpson, and what that means to her. I could go on, but then I’d be babbling. God, I love this episode. We’ve had two future episodes since then, one horrendous, one average, but really, what episode could beat this one? None of them. That’s the answer.

Tidbits and Quotes
– Great bit on the misleading cards: the “Death” card is positive, meaning transition and change, but God help you if you get the “Happy Squirrel.”
– Pigeonholing one’s self in the past as this show has is fine, since I view the series as having a floating timeline, but not so good for doing it in the future. To be fair, I don’t think any of the writers could have possibly imagined this show would still be running in 2010.
– I like how for the most part, the future gags are really more suppositions of what the future could actually hold, from the hologram tree in remembrance of actual plant life, digital clocks replacing analog, Jim Carrey films being labeled as classics (which kind of has happened), and the Rolling Stones still being on tour (true, except for the wheelchair part.)
– Very appropriate that Hugh describes himself and Lisa as “utterly humorless” in their humanitarian efforts. Oh, and great name of their dormitory, “Dr. and Mrs. Dre Hall.”
– I love the scene at Parkfield Manor where Lisa worriedly ponders how to respond to what may or may not be Mr. Parkfield’s dry British wit. She lands on a quieted nervous laugh (hilariously done by Yeardley Smith), to which Parkfield responds, “Oh, it’s good to hear a boisterous American laugh!”
– Classic bit where Hugh’s electronic, overly wordy proposal sign malfunctions, leading to Plan B: someone shoves a cow from behind a bush with a “Marry Me” sign.
– I haven’t even mentioned the future character designs, which are really fabulous. Lisa with her stylishly pointed hair, Marge with slightly grayer blue hair, Bart sporting a beard line like his father, and Homer who is stouter with only one hair on his head and the one wrapping around thinning. Teenage Maggie is a great design too. I also love Nancy Cartwright’s older Bart voice, something she seemed to have forgotten about in the next future episode.
– I like Marge’s fake-out (“If only your father were still with us… but he left for work a few minutes ago”) and her forgetting she’s on a picture phone.
– At the plant, we see Lenny and Carl in management positions, and Milhouse now being Homer’s supervisor. This gives us a great scene of his past romantic failure with Lisa and his taking it out on Homer (“I think I’ll write your performance evaluation now, Simpson!”) I like how when he leaves, Homer tints his fingers with a big grin, hopeful of how it will turn out, none the wiser.
– I like how well Homer takes being court ordered from planning Lisa’s wedding (“Well, these seem to be in order. I’ll be out back in the hammock.”)
– Great look at the future of school systems, once again not far off from the reality: grossly overcrowded (triple decker desks) with a corporate sponsored curriculum (“If you have three Pepsis and drink one, how much more refreshed are you? You, the redhead in the Chicago school system?” “Pepsi?” “Partial credit!”)
– The British flag catching fire by accident is a great act break, but come on, what’s a bug zapper doing that high up a tree?
– The adapted Simpson house is fantastic, with Homer’s shoddy building additions (“If the building inspector comes by, it’s not a room, it’s a window box.”) Hugh quickly becomes victim of shoddy workmanship as he falls through the floor (“Fortunately, the compost heap broke my fall. Be a dear, run a bath.”)
– Adult Bart describes his station in life (“Hugh, there’s more to my life than just the wrecking ball: I also crush cars into cubes. And on the side, I promote local tough man contests. Basically, I’m getting out all my aggression ’till I go to law school.”) I love how he’s wearing a wife beater, and his punked-out Krusty tattoo, which is such a wonderful small detail.
– Marge and Lisa giggling on how Lisa can wear white because Milhouse “doesn’t count” is a delightfully dirty joke, but shockingly, only the second dirtiest joke regarding white dress virginity in a cartoon (that crown goes to The Critic: young debutante Margo agrees to wear white-white… except for the gloves.)
– I like the moment with Bart and Lisa at the wedding, which starts out sweet, and quickly deflates when discussions of a bachelor party comes up (“We had one in his honor. …I had one in his honor. …I went to a strip club.”)
– Great scene where Hugh prepares for the worst when Homer meets his parents. Homer attempts to cut through the awkwardness (“You know what’s great about you English? Octopussy. Man, I must have seen that movie… twice!”) Hugh concedes that’s probably the best he could have hoped for.
– Slight oops having Maude Flanders at the wedding. Maybe she was… umm… yeah, I got nothing. Also suspect why Mrs. Krabappel, Smithers and Burns and others are at Lisa’s wedding, but I don’t care much since it’s fun to see them.
– Homer’s speech is so beautiful, I’m just gonna write it out in full (“Little Lisa, Lisa Simpson. You know, I always felt you were the best thing my name ever got attached to. Since the time you learned to pin your own diapers, you’ve been smarter than me. I just want you to know I’ve always been proud of you. You’re my greatest accomplishment and you did it all yourself. You helped me understand my own wife better and taught me to be a better person, but you’re also my daughter, and I don’t think anybody could have had a better daughter than-” “Dad, you’re babbling.” “See? You’re still helping me.”)
– I like how Hugh’s admissions to Lisa, and attempts to smooth things over, just digs him in a deeper and deeper hole (“I’ve attempted to enjoy your family on a personal level, on an ironic level, as a novelty, as camp, as kitsch, as cautionary example… nothing works.”) Lisa asks if she’ll never see her family again, Hugh tactlessly responds, “Possibly your mother will come when the children are born.”
– Lovejoy is quite petty when the wedding is called off (“This is very sad news, and it never would have happened if the wedding had been inside the church with God instead of out here in the cheap showiness of nature.”)
– Great outro to the fortune teller; when Lisa questions the story, being set up that it would be about her true love, the teller responds, “Oh, you’ll have a true love, but I specialize in foretelling the relationships where you get jerked around.” She gives a maniacal laugh, disappearing into a puff of smoke… but then she’s still there. Lisa backs away slowly from the crazy person and back to the fair. The Renaissance ending theme music is lovely as well.

121. A Star is Burns

(originally aired March 5, 1995)
I remember as a kid, I thought Jay Sherman was a real person. Considering the huge amount of celebrity guests on The Simpsons, I just assumed Jay was another one of them. It wasn’t until later in middle school I saw The Critic late night on Comedy Central and discovered he was merely a refugee from another show. The story with this episode was The Critic was starting its second season on FOX, premiering right after The Simpsons, and James L. Brooks proposed this crossover episode to help launch the show. Matt Groening was upset at this for sorted reasons, mainly that he felt the crossover defied the rules of the Simpsons universe, and that he felt fans would be upset that the episode would basically be one big commercial for The Critic (which ultimately, it kind of was.) Whether he didn’t want to raise a big stink about it, or he just had no real power to halt production of this episode, he chose to just remove his name from the credits, the only Groening-less episode to date. Now, The Critic is an absolutely fabulous show in its own right, and the idea of a crossover doesn’t feel too alien a concept. I think this episode works perfectly well as a Simpsons episode, just featuring a character from another show.

How do you bring Jay Sherman to Springfield? Host a local film festival and invite him as a judge, obviously. It’s a fair enough premise, paired with Homer feeling undermined in his own house by an intellectual Jay. Even with an acknowledged nod to the cheap nature of the crossover (“I really love your show. I think all kids should watch it! Eww… I suddenly feel so dirty,”) the show is pretty unremarkable up until the middle mark, where Burns attempts to submit a movie to improve his heinous image. The result is an absurd fluff piece, aping off classic films like E.T. and Ben Hur to elevate Burns to sainthood. The prize film of the night comes from Barney, an incredibly heartfelt and artfully produced film of his alcohol-induced sorrows. With it getting Marge and Jay’s vote, and Quimby and Krusty paid off by Burns, it’s up to Homer to break the tie. He, however, is enthralled by another film, Hans Moleman’s “Man Getting Hit By Football,” whose name pretty aptly reflects the content.

The various films from our beloved Springfieldians are pretty much the only thing of note here, but they’re so strong that they make up for any slack the episode might have carried. There are other select funny bits, but overall, it’s not quite a strong Simpsons episode, perhaps because it had to cater to its specific purpose of promoting The Critic. Was it a bit shameless? Yeah, maybe. But Jon Lovitz had done so many voices on the show, Jay just feels like another one of them, so it’s not so jarring to see him here. And how could I be completely down at an episode that gave us George C. Scott getting hit in the crotch by a football? It’s a pretty fine show. So is The Critic. You should watch that. Like, right now, go watch it. I’ll be here when you get back.

Tidbits and Quotes
Simpsons characters and references popped up on The Critic from time to time. My favorite is probably when a low-brow family switches off Jay spouting intellectual platitudes in favor of Homer stepping on a rake and saying “D’oh!” (“Now this I understand.”) I can’t find that clip though, but here’s another good one.
– I like the Eye on Springfield opening. It’s reused footage with new bits sprinkled in, but it feels like something a local news station would do, cycling in new clips with the old. The new bits are really great: Brockman in the winning locker room getting dumped with Gatorade… then with cement, and Krusty leading hoards of wild animals into Krusty Burger, presumably to slaughter.
– I love Krusty performing as FDR. Not only does he get out of the wheelchair, but he’s still in full clown make-up as always. What kind of a production is this?
– The scene with Ned’s movie gone awry with Todd getting caught up down stream is pretty crazy as is before God takes a literal hand in saving the child, giving Ned an A-OK sign from the heavens and a cordial “Okily-dokily!”
– The “Coming Attractions” segment really does feel straight out of The Critic, almost as if Rainier Wolfcastle was a guest on his show. “McBain: Let’s Get Silly” looks like a fantastic film (“The film is just me in front of a brick wall for an hour and a half. It cost eighty million dollars.”) Rainier later confronts Jay on slyly insulting him on the show, only to be tricked into believing his shoes are untied as Jay makes his escape (“On closer inspection, these are loafers.”)
– It’s really really dumb, but I always laugh at Homer erasing and re-writing “Simpson” over and over at the airport.
– Once Burns gets in the episode, the jokes really kick in: his response to market research showing people see him as an ogre (“I ought to club them and eat their bones!”), his liking toward the idea of making a film (“A slick Hollywood picture to gloss over my evil rise to power like Bugsy or Working Girl,”) and of course Steven Spielberg’s non-union Mexican equivalent, Señor Spielbergo.
– What more can be said about “Man Getting Hit By Football”? It’s perfect: the title card and jangly piano intro feels like something someone as old as Moleman would include, and the premise itself is like an old slapstick bit. Homer’s over-reaction is priceless of course, reminiscent of the similar incident in “Homer Goes to College” (“The ball! His groin! It works on so many levels!”)
– Smithers does damage control when everyone boos Burns’s film: they’re actually saying “Boo-urns.” Burns consults the crowd about it, who then boos him further. Hans, however, was saying “Boo-urns.”
– Great newspaper headline (“Incontinent Old Man Wins Miss Teen America”) with an equally disturbing picture.
– Hilarious reading from Krusty when asked why he voted for Burns’s movie (“Let’s just say it moved me… to a bigger house! Oops, I said the quiet part loud and the loud part quiet.”)
– Homer watches Barney’s film a second time to give it another chance, and is so moved by it he vows not to ever drink again. Then of course, a man walks by selling beer and he takes ten. Very easy joke. Why was he there in the first place when Homer was having a private screening? Then we get basically the same joke later when Barney wins and vows to be sober, and the prize is a life supply of Duff. The reading of “Just hook it to my veeiiiins!” saves it though.
– Minor stupid quibble: Itchy & Scratchy wins for best animated short, but this was a film festival for local residents. Why would a studio production be eligible?
– Really great biting goodbye when Jay starts to propose if the Simpsons ever want to come on his show, Bart cuts him off (“Nah, we’re not going to be doing that.”)

120. Homer vs. Patty and Selma

(originally aired February 26, 1995)
This is one of those episodes that kind of falls into the ether of the classic seasons. We all remember the Stonecutters and Bart’s comet, but is anyone’s favorite episode the one where Patty and Selma lend Homer money? Probably not. It’s a more low-key, character driven episode, similar to what we’d see in season 2 or 3, but with decidedly more wacky jokes and bits. Look no further than the source of Homer’s money woes: sinking his whole life savings in pumpkin stocks (“They’ve been going up the whole month of October and I got a feeling they’re going to peak right around January,”) leaving him broke very quickly. Similar to what we’ve seen before, Homer keeps the family money woes from Marge. His sole role in the family is to be the provider, and he’ll do whatever it takes to keep it that way. His final resort brings him to his lowest point: agreeing to take a loan from Patty and Selma, who of course are quick to take advantage of him at every turn.

Around this, we have a B-story featuring Bart getting stuck in ballet for P.E. Odd that a school so underfunded as Springfield Elementary would have many, many choices for a grade school physical education concentration. What school has that? Anyway, it isn’t long before Bart is overtaken by the allure of the dance, as tutored by the ballet instructor, voiced by Susan Sarandon. It’s mostly an empty plot that’s sort of an extensive set-up to a predictable pay-off. Not wanting to be the subject of ridicule, Bart does his first public performance in a mask. The bullies, who previously had been shown to have daintier tendencies, are enthralled by the performance. Inspired by this, Bart reveals his identity and defends doing what he loves… and is chased out by the bullies anyway. It’s the typical Simpsons subversion you can see from a mile away, but I do like how in the end, Bart undoes himself by attempting to leap over a chasm and failing. The bullies are satisfied (“Well, as long as he’s hurt.”) Also, Sarandon’s advice to Bart (“Leap like you’ve never leapt before!”) seems like a reference to one of the very first Simpsons shorts where Homer urges Bart to leap into his arms.

It may be small in scale, but this episode is incredibly solid, where each bit of information in the main story is integral. Homer attempts to repay his dues by working as a limo driver, only to be pulled over and told he must apply for a chauffeur’s license at the DMV, leading to a final confrontation with the gruesome twosome. Patty and Selma nitpick Homer at every turn, of course resulting in a failed test. The two are so overstimulated with joy that they instinctively light their cigarettes, getting them in hot water with their supervisor, threatening to deny them their promotions, which is what they came over the house for to celebrate in their first scene. What started as a simple bit at the beginning ends up as being a big piece of the final climax. It’s small stuff, but it makes these episodes feel more meaningful. Also upon arriving at the DMV, Marge comments how she doesn’t like seeing her husband and her sisters fight all the time (a sentiment she very rarely seems to express), which later makes Homer feel guilty for taking pleasure over the two getting in trouble, and ultimately saving them in the end, a gesture and sacrifice he makes solely for his wife’s sake. It’s really a shining moment for Homer, and may be one of my favorite endings to any show.

Tidbits and Quotes
– Great moment where Homer lights his cigar with a dollar bill like a showman, then immediately puts it out and back into his wallet, which is filled with other slightly burnt bills. Lenny comments, “Hey, Homer! How come you’ve got money to burn? Or singe, anyway?”
– Lovely bit of animation where Homer pulls the couch out of the house, dumps his sisters-in-law out on the lawn and pulls it back in. I also like how the sisters clung their nails into the couch prior, implying previous incidents where Homer has physically thrown them out. Marge tries to do some damage control (“I’m sorry: Homer doesn’t mean to be rude, he’s just a very complicated man.”) Homer appears from the upstairs window, smashes a plate over his head and yells, “Wrong!” I always like how cruel Patty and Selma are to Homer as well, and aren’t shy on telling Marge (“Granted, you got some kids out of him, but when the seed have been planted, you throw away the envelope.”)
– Gotta mention dear ol’ Rat Boy (“Bart, I told you before, stop gnawing on the drywall.”)
– Bart greets a glorious morning (“The sun is out, birds are singing, bees are trying to have sex with them, as is my understanding.”)
– The drawing of Homer with his fake grin when Patty and Selma show up at the house in the second act is so fucking funny. So much care was put into these classic years, where even though the show isn’t that visually elaborate, the drawings themselves still elicit laughs, as good animation should.
– I like how Lenny and Carl are planning on stopping by Moe’s for a Zima (“Homer, quit wallowing in self-pity. Pull yourself together and come get drunk with us.”)
– The ballet teacher isn’t so in touch with American youth when Bart complains about his required attire (“But so many of your heroes wear tights: Batman, for example, and… Magellan.”)
– Great moment when Patty and Selma force Homer to act like a dog, then Marge comes in and asks what’s going on. Homer tries to give an explanation, but he’s still locked into talking like Scooby-Doo while on his knees. Then we have the big reveal of the I.O.U. note, illuminated by the lamp. Not only does it make no sense for the light to shine through, but it lands face up so it wouldn’t even be oriented correctly on the wall. Regardless, Marge completely saves it with the great line, “Homer! Is this projection accurate?”
– I like the risque carnival gag paper with the headline of Bart being World’s Greatest Sex Machine. What kind of carnival was this they’d give that to a child?
– I guess I should comment on Mel Brooks… fine appearance, I guess. I really haven’t seen a lot of his films, so there’s not really much I can say about his scene.
– Like “Flaming Moe’s,” we get another great bit of Homer completely failing to be subtle in his sarcasm (“Okay, Marge, I’ll get along with them. Then, I will hug some snakes… yes! Then, I will hug and kiss some poisonous snakes. …now that’s sarcasm.”)
– I like how panicked Homer gets during the driver’s test. He’s at the end of his rope and is quickly learning he’s in a no-win scenario (“Being a jerk. Minus a million points!”)
– I absolutely love Homer’s flat delivery as he sucks down both cigarettes, coughing (“I am in flavor country.”) The supervisor asks is they’re both his, he responds, “It’s a big country.”

119. Bart vs. Australia

(originally aired February 19, 1995)
In 1993, asshole American punk Michael Fay was arrested in Singapore on multiple counts of wanton vandalism and was sentenced to a brief prison stay, and to be whipped with a cane several times as punishment. Needless to say, the States went apeshit, crying it to be barbaric and set to do anything they could to prevent the besmirchment of a pure American ass on foreign soil. Even President Clinton got involved in this, and as a sign of good will, the president of Singapore reduced the caning from six times to four. What a ridiculous current event. It’s just the right kind of fodder for South Park to tackle. But since that show doesn’t exist yet, The Simpsons swooped in to parody it. While I saw “Homie the Clown” dozens of times in syndication and loved it from the first watch, this is an episode that slowly grew on me, and between the loads of other mixed quality travel episodes, and knowing more about the Fay case, it became one of my favorites, with an incredibly strong plot that equally skewers both America and Australia, having its cake and eating it too, as the Simpsons create an international incident in a believable, hilarious way.

I love how innocently the episode begins only to have it snowball out of control. Lisa informs Bart that water always drains counter-clockwise in the Northern hemisphere, and clockwise in the Southern (another in a long line of things I’ve learned from this show.) Bart is stunned to learn this (as was I), and being a typically bratty brother, he aims to prove her wrong by making multiple long distance calls to southern countries. His calling spree ends with him bamboozling an Australian boy, keeping him on the line for hours on end, and because he accepted the collect call, ends up racking up a rather high bill. What I like here is Bart tricks the kid at first, but it wasn’t his intention to keep him on the line that long. Late that night he returns to the phone having completely forgotten about his previous activities, being the attention deficit child he is. The Aussies get hoppin’ mad, they do, as Bart’s hoopla makes its way up to the Prime Minister. Enter Evan Conover from the US State Department (Phil Hartman, perhaps his most understated character,) who urges the family must go to Australia to make a public apology to mend American-Aussie relations.

We get a few bits of the family touring Australia, but the story remains focused on the plot of having Bart doing his phony apology, only to have an additional punishment sprung: a public booting. As the Simpsons hide out at the US embassy, Conover deals with the Aussies on the most precarious of negotiations (“Then it’s agreed: during the bargaining session, we each get two candy apples… all right, one candy and one caramel.”) Eventually a deal is struck: the Prime Minister will boot Bart once through the embassy gates with a wingtip shoe, a bargaining down similar to the Fay case. There’s so many things I love about this plot, mostly how the Simpsons ends up as pawns for the government, with Conover being true to his name and selling them out to prevent international controversy, and when that falls flat, they almost begrudgingly agree to help them. Bart of course screws over everyone by mooning the Prime Minister (one of the greatest scenes of the entire series), and the family makes their swift exit back to America. It’s an episode that feels as real as it is nuts, and is without a doubt the best travel episode.

Tidbits and Quotes
– Great joke when Marge catches Bart digging his hands in the toilet (“Oh, for Pete’s sake, Bart, use the plunger!”)
– I’m not sure if it was a syndication cut or I just forgot about it, but when I saw this on DVD for the first time and the Hitler scene came up, I was like, “….wha?” It’s such a crazy joke, the idea Hitler is still alive somehow, but every time I hear Harry Shearer’s “Eine minuten, eine minuten!” I laugh hysterically.
– I like the impetus for Bart to abandon his Australia call for Milhouse appearing at the window (“Hey, Bart! The bakery caught fire and all of downtown smells like cookies! Wanna go smell?”)
– Homer argues with his brain over the ramped up phone bill, with him wondering whether he made the calls himself and just forgot. When he considers consulting Marge about it, his brain sways him otherwise (“Why embarrass us both? Just write a check and I’ll release some more endorphins.”) He signs off a check and immediately writhes with pleasure.
– Hank Azaria as the Australian kid’s father is so goddamn funny, he’s such a loud, stupid, boorish character. Right from the start he’s hilarious; his son tells him the American call was from the International Drainage Commission, he responds in shock, “Oh my God! There’s nothing wrong with the bidet, is there?” The call between him and Bart is so frigging fantastic, where Bart just fucks with this guy repeatedly. Azaria and Nancy Cartwright do an amazing job playing off each other.
– Conover’s initial proposal is imprison Bart for five years. Homer thinks for a moment, then responds, “That’s tough, but fair. Boy, go with the man.” Marge, of course, will have none of it (“I’m not going to have my son go to jail over some silly tiff with Australia. You’ll just have to find some other country to have relations with.”)
– The pan through the entire planet is a clever transition, with Vishnu operating in the Earth’s core, to seeing the plane landing upside down.
– The American toilet at the embassy is amazing for many reasons. First, it’s a nice button on the initial spark of the episode. Second, it’s such an inconsequential device. Like me, I’m sure no one even knows or pays attention to what way the water drains, making it the perfect stupid indulgent expense to preserve American “exceptionalism .” Third, of course, is Homer tearfully singing “My Country, ‘Tis Of Thee” as it flushes.
– Homer jumping back and forth from America and Australia is a tad jerkass, but made up for it with his family being embarrassed and the marine punching him out (“Here in America, we don’t tolerate that kind of crap, sir!”)
– The pub features three great jokes in a row: “I see you’ve played Knifey-Spooney before,” Homer being disappointed by Australia’s famous giant beers, and the bartender’s inability to fathom someone ordering anything else but beer (“C… O…” “B… E…”)
– A quick insane joke of the Parliament building apparently being from Austria, with the additional letters penciled in, as if the Australians stole the face of Austria’s Parliament building and brought it back with them.
– I love the Australian version of the Pimply Faced Teen, who is not so won over by the bullfrog’s name (“That’s an odd name. I’d have called them ‘chazzwozzers.'”)
– I like the very ending with the bullfrogs decimating Australia’s agriculture, if only because it was set up in two earlier great scenes, but I don’t like how Marge and Lisa take amusement out of the situation. Sort of similar to how they participated in the food fight in “Homer Loves Flanders.” But a minor quibble, I loved that episode, and I love this one too.

118. Homie the Clown

(originally aired February 12, 1995)
There are quite a few episodes I remember seeing run in syndication constantly. Either they’d repeat them more often than others or I just so happened to catch them over and over. Some of them I’ve grown a bit tired of. This one, I’ve seen it at least fifty times and I still absolutely love it. Not only is it hilarious start to finish, it has so many perfect elements in its story and characterizations. There’s no real overarching theme I can highlight, so let’s just go point by point. First off, this is some of the best Krusty stuff ever on the series. We haven’t seen him much this season, and boy did he come back with a vengeance. His first two scenes are brilliant, starting off with his tireless wacky showman persona, then immediately switching to the disgruntled, sell-out shill he is as soon as the show curtain falls. The jokes come flying fast, but all illustrate Krusty’s personality: stealing George Carlin’s routines, ordering roses for Bea Arthur’s grave (who wasn’t dead at the time), and pushing the release of more shoddy merchandise to get him out of a financial hole while he’s already burning money (literally.)

Krusty’s accountant urges he open a clown college to train imitation Krustys to create extra revenue. This brings us to Homer, and an over-the-top examination of powerful subliminal advertising. He’s so excited for “new billboard day” that he causes multiple pile-ups by abruptly stopping to look at each one, creating a mental list so he can buy all the marketed products. Initially he is unfazed by the clown college ad, but the image has permeated his subconscious, as he visualizes his family and co-workers as clowns with circus music playing. It’s not long before he’s convinced that his life’s mission is to go to clown college. It’s less of a biting satire on marketing and more of showing how easily a mush head like Homer can be manipulated. Homer turns out to be a semi-competent clown, who only starts to enjoy himself when he learns he can reap discounts from local merchants posing as the actual Krusty, which he of course tries to push to the nth degree.

As set up in act one, Krusty is in pretty deep debt with Fat Tony and ends up fleeing the country when his time is up. This leaves Homer clear in Tony’s sights, who is easily mistaken as the genuine jester. The two clowns come together when Krusty returns to face the music, creating a bit of a dilemma. The two must face off with Don Vittorio, a self-described old Italian stereotype, whose violent retribution can only be dissuaded if the two perform an elaborate routine on a miniature tricycle. The final scene is so spectacular because, again, all of the groundwork has been set. The very first scene is Krusty doing the trick, then we see Homer attempt multiple times to do the same at the college. Seeing Krusty and Homer bumble, but then succeed with flying colors is very satisfying, especially when Homer gets in the last big finish. We end on the conflict of the episode being exposed as nothing: Vittorio won’t kill Krusty, but still demands payment… of forty-eight dollars. Some could cry it’s a stupid cop-out ending, which I guess I can’t argue that fact, but I love me that stupid cop-out ending something fierce. This episode’s so perfect to me. It was one of my favorites when I was younger, and still is today.

Tidbits and Quotes
– Bart continues to speak great reverence of his hero Krusty (“He can take a simple, everyday thing like eating a bicycle and make it funny.”)
– Great direction with Krusty tilting his head grinning and waving as the curtain falls, then as he is submerged in backstage darkness, he immediately grimaces and lights up a cigarette. What a perfect visual representation of his two-faced nature: it’s like the stage lights literally bring him to life, and when they’re gone, he’s back to his disgruntled, bastard self.
– So many great bits in that first scene: “Put five thousand bucks on the Lakers. Hire Kenny G to play for me in the elevator. My house is dirty; buy me a clean one,” Krusty not wanting to hear the end of any sentences, and continually paying people off with ten grand, placing a double or nothing bet on the opera (his money’s the tenor), the accountant’s brilliant advice on gambling (“Gambling is the finest thing a person can do if he’s good at it,”) and of course the horrendous Krusty products, specifically the Lady Krusty Mustache Removal System.
– I love the build-up toward Homer cracking and enrolling in the college. It’s like the billboard has infected his brain and dulled Homer’s mental functions even further. At the dinner table he sculpts a circus tent out of mashed potatoes (a la Close Encounters of the Third Kind.) The best bit is a worried Lisa turned to her mother for reassurance, but all Marge can respond with is, “I think I’ll have some wine.”
– The clown college gives us more great bits: how “one Krusty per territory” works out… almost, the baggy pants fitting Homer perfectly, the funny place names (Seattle!), Krusty pieing a priggish royal in the face so hard she puts a crack in the wall (Homer takes note, “Kill wealthy dowager,”) and of course Homer’s multiple attempts to do the tricycle loop-de-loop, the final such attempt getting his pants caught in the pedals, leaving him bare-assed (Krusty orders his accountant, “Burn that seat.”) The best line is from one of Krusty’s lessons: “These Krusty brand balloons are three bucks each. But get a cheap one and what happens? It goes off, takes out the eyeballs of every kid in the room! What’s that going to cost you?” Then, to his accountant, “Hey, Bill, what did that cost us?”
– I like how this plot is kind of a behind-the-scenes callback to how Krusty was originally modeled to essentially be Homer with clown make-up. As Matt Groening put it, it was ironic that Bart idolized a man who looked so much like his father, whom he holds in contempt. The Homer-Krusty model is great, with the only differences being Homer has no tuft on the top of his head, and his nose is painted red rather than having a fake nose. I also like how Homer actually gained some skills at college, doing a squirt flower bank shot to spray Lisa and Bart at the same time (he sheepishly takes a compliment, “It was my major.”)
– The first act break is hilarious, with Krusty gleefully smacking his hand-buzzer all over a wailing Homer.
– Oh God… the Krusty Burglar scene is one of the best scenes in the whole series. I love how seriously Homer takes it (“Oh my God! He’s stealing all the burgers!”) and how viciously he beats the shit out of the midget actor (last seen as fake Lisa in “Burns’ Heir.”) Then of course we have the crying child (“Stop it! He’s already dead!”) and the horrified crowd clapping awkwardly as the poor actor lies down in horrible pain (“Please look at my Medic Alert bracelet…”)
– Homer arrives to Milhouse’s birthday party, and whether this was part of his entrance or not, I don’t know, but his car skids on the lawn and crashes into a tree. Then after a second, he crashes through the windshield and greets the children. I like how his act consists of balloon animals, and tiredly dancing like a buffoon as kids throw things at him.
– What a good sport Dick Cavett is, especially since they made him look like a pathetic asshole fame-leech (“Let’s walk and talk. I have some wonderful stories about other famous people that include me in some way.”)
– Another great Springfield product: Gigantic Asses Magazine. You’ll never guess what’s on the cover.
– Classic classic bit of Krusty betting against the Harlem Globetrotters and watching the game devastated (“That game was fixed! They were using a freakin’ ladder, for God’s sake!”) And another quick joke about the fate of the clown college, now under Fat Tony’s ownership (“Kids have a lot of money these days. So after you finish your performance, you might consider robbing them.”)
– The car salesman is a pretty cool and collected customer. He doesn’t even skip a beat once the car is shot at and Homer asks what the holes are (“These are speed holes. They make the car go faster.”) Then the hood becomes riddled with bullet holes and the windshield shatters (“You want my advice? I think you should buy this car.”) Then later there’s the great scene of Ned getting shot twice, first saved by the Bible close to his heart, then a piece of the true cross. Then Homer’s pick axe is hit. Luckily for him, Fat Tony’s men weren’t the most prepared for this assassination (“I told you we should have bought more than three bullets. Let’s just grab him!”)
– I like Homer’s thought process of coming up with fake names for the mob. He first sells out his best friend Barney, then throws out Joe Valachi, who I’m sure he doesn’t know, the worst name he could have picked at random, and then Benedict Arnold, a similarly bad choice.
More great direction in the build-up for Homer doing the trick where it seems he’s actually going to make it. We see it from Homer’s POV as Vittorio, Tony and the goons look on excited as he goes upside-down… then disappointment as he goes back down the same way and fails. The drawing of Homer flat on his ass is pretty funny too.